Written by Auntie Jean

Saturday, 3 January 2015

Sofa manufacturers have said in an open letter this morning that they understand the need to protect the elderly and vulnerable from the temptation to buy "after New Year" sofas.

Sofa chains, DFI, Q&B, Gladbrook and Bentley and Sharidans have signed the letter to The Comfortable Times.

The Initiative comes amid growing public unease about the moral and financial impact of aggressive sofa pushing after Christmas and the New Year. Extremely comfortable sofas have been dubbed 'the crack cocaine of furniture'

Anti-sofa advertising campaigners slammed the initiative as 'window dressing'

The agreement comes a day after T.V. Networks agreed to restrict advertisements of all extremely comfortable furniture amid growing public unease about their impact.

Investors in Britain's biggest sofa chains breathed more easily after the UK government unveiled a package of measures to control sofa spending that did not go as far as some in the industry had feared.

Shares in M.F.U and Shackletuns, the UK's two biggest sofa shop operators, rose after publication of a statement from the Department of Arse Comfort, Media and Sport.

Among the measures proposed by the department are more powers for councils to control three piece suite shop openings; a requirement for shops to communicate with people who want to spend more than £1000 on sofas and a 9pm watershed on advertisements.

Furniture shops' biggest fear was a reduction in the maximum sofa price to £200 - a proposal championed by Liberal Democrat MPs and campaigners. That would have made many sofa shops unviable because of their dependence on high quality goods post Bank Holiday sales in the UK.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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