Written by E. Williams

Monday, 12 January 2015

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - The 72nd annual Golden Globes awards ceremony had some fireworks tonight for a change. For the first time in the show's history, a drone was employed to get some unique camera angles for the audience around the world. Then the fun began.

Apparently, a hacker gained access into the drone and instructed the machine to arm itself. The drone then proceeded to carpet bomb the red carpet area as celebrities filed by, causing many to dive out of the way to avoid getting hit with flying champagne glass pieces and shrapnel.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, nominated for Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy, dove under a nearby table wearing a stunning Vera Wang number that really accentuated her small waist.

As the bombs flew, Nominee for Actor in a TV Movie or Mini-series, Matthew McConaughey, sat back and enjoyed the show. "Alright, alright, alriiiiight," the actor commented.

Before the show started, technicians were able to nab the drone and reprogram it, assuring hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler that the unit was safe to use for the televised portion of the show.

Once the telecast started, however, the drone went haywire once again and started lighting up the fancy Beverly Hills Hilton with small arms fire and missiles that had been hidden away in a secret compartment on the machine. As security closed in on the drone, celebrities were again sent diving for cover under tables and behind other attendees, anything to put something, or somebody, between them and the out of control terminator.

Billy Thompson, a 15 year-old viewer from Grand Rapids, Michigan said, "This is freakin' awesome! Usually these shows suck but this is the best awards show I've ever seen!"

Joaquin Phoenix, nominated for his role in Inherent Vice, tried to use Bill Murray, nominated for St. Vincent, as a human shield. Fortunately, Murray was unharmed. Many injuries were reported. The biggest casualty appears to be Lena Dunham, nominated for her HBO show, Girls. Dunham was hit by a missile from the drone, suffered trauma to her ego, was taken to a nearby, posh hospital for the special and wealthy, and was put into a Republican-induced coma. Stay tuned for more details.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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