Afrophysicists Discover Link to Dark Matter

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Friday, 2 January 2015

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A link to solving the mystery of dark matter which as bedeviled physicists for decades has been solved posthumously it seems by Chuck Brown the acknowledged Godfather of Go-go music in the Washington D.C. area in the mid 1960's. While originally local club music based on a laid-back, rhythm-heavy style of funk characterized by lengthy rhythm breaks and dance contests between songs it soon became apparent that the centripetal motion from the double-turntables and head spins of this sub-genre had a powerful relationship to physics as well.

Afrophysicist Roy Blackman a.k.a. Kurtis Blow from Go-go band Trouble Funk who recorded in the mid 70's back-in-the-day explains that it was not difficult to extend the call and response pattern of Go-go music to the audience to the science community which subsequently led to what is now regarded as the Mojo Theory.

Early Go-go deejays accidently found out that dual turntables spinning in different directions together with timbales, drums, keyboards and bass created a positive new vibe inspiring an irresistible centripetal motion that caused dancers to spontaneously perform head-spins which now is seen as a link to solving the mystery of dark matter.

Blackman says afrophysicists worldwide now acknowledge that sub-atomic particles and their powerful attractive spinning forces can now be channeled though humans via club music and hand held beat-boxes via the Mojo Theory without the use of costly sub-atomic particle accelerators.

"Dark matter represents over fifty-percent of the mass of the universe; Chuck Brown showed us we may as well dance to it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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