NFL Meeting to Develop 2015-16 Season Controversies

Written by Moe Nightwalker

Monday, 26 January 2015

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The story of "Not enough white paint" didn't make the 2014 cut.

Like all businesses, publicity is an important part of the NFL. So important that the NFL is holding a mandatory owners meeting on Monday after the Superbowl to discuss publicity for 2015.

"2014 was such a great year with Ray Rice, a gay player, bullying in the Miami Dolphins locker room, and deflategate. It really kept people talking about the NFL even when there was real news of great importance that Americans should have been monitoring." says Sue Roger, spokewoman for the NFL.

The NFL is hiring two reality show producers to help develop story lines for 2015. Unconfirmed sources believe that the "gay player story" is not finished and could reappear. Other topics under discussion are medical marijuana to help head injuries and a Cuban player. The marijuana story will not only show that the NFL is working to help players, but will also get the younger generation to want to play football especially if their parents prohibit it.

The goal of Monday's meeting is to generate enough ideas to last from March through July. the NFL will need a few extra back-up stories in case one of the main stories fades too quickly, like the Adrian Peterson child abuse story.

In a surprise late announcement, Roger Goodell has banned John McCain from attending the meeting after his public criticism of Goodell.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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