There were 162 spoof news stories published in July 2016. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
What's Behind Lincoln's Face on Mount Rushmore?
The 16th president of the U.S. may be known as "Honest Abe," but he's been hiding a secret room behind his face on Mount Rushmore. The room is not accessible to the public, but through the use of long-distance, super duper X-ray technology, an int...
Read full storyTrump Contracts Put Brown M&Ms In Spotlight
The city of Los Angeles has lost out on $80,000 in a stadium rental deal because it accidentally served brown M&Ms to Donald Trump and his VIP guests in the buffet. The rumor is that brown M&Ms represent Mexicans and Muslims to Donald Trum...
Read full storyJudgements In Trump U Lawsuit To Bankrupt Donald Trump
In just the first of many civil suits to conclude against Donald Trump and Trump University, a jury in one of the cases handed Trump a 500 million dollar judgement against him. Exposing the gap between what The Don says he's worth and the reality,...
Read full storyTrump Retweets Racist Image Of Mitt Romney As A Mexican
Another day, another racist Tweet from Donald Trump. Sparking a furor and stealing the spotlight from Hillary Clinton's email problems, Donald Trump has retweeted what some are saying is a racist depiction of Mitt Romney as a Mexican. Trump apo...
Read full storyTrump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Moscow, Russia: Attempting to demonstrate his foreign policy skills, Donald Trump met yesterday with Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin in Moscow. The meeting began with several vodka shots until President Putin presented two horses to Mr.
Read full story"Workemon" Taps Potential Labor Pool Of Pokemon Go Players
A Chicago businesswoman has developed the new Workemon app designed to hook up employers with available Pokemon Go players. Independent game app designer Lexi Perot was having trouble staffing her second business, a pizza restaurant, when an incid...
Read full storyAllardyce Names Squad For 2018 World Cup Embarrassment
Sam Allardyce has named his 23 man squad for the 2018 FIFA World Cup with Paul Gasgoine in alongside Kenny Sansom while Bobby Charlton and Gordon Banks miss out along with the late Stanley Matthews. Gasgoine impressed during Euro '96 scoring again...
Read full storyJet Repossesed, Trump Stranded In Milwaukee
Donald Trump's reality candidacy crashed into reality show Airplane Repo in Milwaukee when Trump's jet was repossessed by none other than Nick Popovich, one of the most experienced and prolific aviation repo pros on the planet. "Normally we've wor...
Read full storyMelania Trump Pissess Off TheDonald's Mother: Mary Trump Returns from the Grave
According to reliable sources from the Other Side, Donald Trump's mother is turning in her grave over Melania's speech at the Republican Convention. Invisible cyber spyders from the Fourth Dimension have reported anomalous activity in TheDonald's...
Read full storyPokemon Go Sees Everything You Do
All across the nation, the oblivious idiot troupe of Pokemon followers wreak havoc by simply not paying attention; but there is more nefarious plans for the idolatry app. Hackers are aware of a back door linked to them on 4chan and CreepyPasta that a...
Read full storyFarting Etiquette On The London Underground
Everyone has done it at one time or another: sometimes you're in public and you just have to trump; and sometimes it's on the London Underground in peak traffic when you have to chuff. Then what do you do? This reporter looked for people who regularly ride the Tube to find out what people do if they have to fart on public transport. So what happened? Some people considered even asking the qu...
Read full storyTrump Jack In The Box Verbally Abuses Vulnerable Children
Concerns have arisen surrounding a popular children's toy that hit the market early last month. The Donald Trump Jack in the Box is facing several scrutinies by parents and child health organizations, the world over due to its highly antagonistic, m...
Read full storyTheresa May's Inaugural Speech Leaked
Theresa May in anticipation of becoming Britain's next Prime Minister sent a copy of her inaugural speech to her friend Hillary Clinton which is how we managed to get it. Here it is in full. "Mister Speaker, honourable ladies and gentlemen. There...
Read full storyLeave and let die, with Boris and Nigel - Brexit cowards scram
Following Boris Johnson's astonishing refusal to help clear up the mess he'd created in the referendum, his companion-in-arms in their 'leave and let die' campaign to destroy the United Kingdom has now also fled the stage. "I want my life back," w...
Read full storyOrioles First Baseman Chris Davis Breaks Toe While Kicking Bat Between Pitches
Baltimore Orioles resplendent slugger Chris Davis had a common habit of nonchalantly dropping the bat head downwards and kicking it softly on the toes of his feet between pitches during an at bat. Unfortunately on Friday night during a game against...
Read full storyTrump Seeks Tactical Nukes For His Jet
Complaining that it's unfair for him to wait till he's officially president to have full US military and Secret Service protection, Donald Trump says he should be allowed to outfit his personal jet with tactical or so called "theater" nukes because o...
Read full storyHand, Developed Over Tens of Millions Years Evolution, Drops Phone Once a Week.
The hand (largely credited with Man's triumph over nature and other deeply intelligent mammalian, cephalopodic, and avian life) is still incapable of retaining its grip on a small roughly rectangular shape for any significant duration of time, studie...
Read full storyAlex Jones: Michelle Obama Time Traveled To Copy Melania Trump's Speech
Alex Jones, purveyor of crackpot conspiracy theories, is now saying that Melania Trump's RNC convention speech is proof that the Obama's have access to Hillary and Bill Clinton's time machine. Wait--what the hell? Yes, Alex Jones is pushing the...
Read full storyHillary agrees to ankle bracelet as part of too big to nail settlement with the FBI
In breaking news yesterday, FBI Director James Comey has cleared Ms. Clinton of nothing more than "extreme carelessness" in compromising national security with her private email server. That she also misled investigators and the country in denying...
Read full storyNew Danger For Black Men: Playing Pokemon Go
New on the list of dangerous things for black men to do is PWB, or Playing Pokemon Go While Black. Micheal Stokes an African American man who lives in Denver, Colorado, plays the new game. Stokes was confronted and held at gunpoint by a homeowner...
Read full storyCanada, Mexico Propose Longest International Bridge Ever
At the close of the recent "Three Amoebas" summit in Ottawa, Canadian Pry Minister Justin Truedough and Mexican President Enrique Pipi Nuevo passed a joint back and forth before jointly taking the podium to make a joint announcement: "While Enriqu...
Read full storyHillary Talks To Dr. Billingsgate: Sex, Lies And More Lies
BILLINGSGATE POST: Rejecting pleas from the Washington Post and New York Times for a sit-down interview, Hillary Clinton agreed to an in-depth interview with Dr. Billingsgate with no ground rules except that Dr. Billingsgate wear a pant suit that do...
Read full storyParrot Beheading Mars July 4 Celebrations, Police Suspect Foul Play
Baltimore, MD - A foul mouthed parrot who had recently been featured on the news as a potential crime witness was beheaded during July 4 celebrations in a ghetto apartment complex court in Baltimore last night. The owner of the parrot, Curtis Le...
Read full storyTrump Sues Maker Of "Trumpemon" Parody Game
With the wild success of Pokemon Go, a parody of the game called "Trumpemon" has already been released. At the same time, the makers of the parody are already being sued by Donald Trump in a California court. Tellingly, Trump is suing for trademar...
Read full storyHillary Sex Tape to Be Leaked!
Amid the torrent of DNC document leaks there is one potential bomb that could derail Hillary's White House dreams for good. A Russian man who would not give his name for the interview, said he was in possession of the tape and ready to release it t...
Read full storyWelcome to the Horror Show: Trump's Medicine Show Turns Paranormal
I'm thinking of buying a spider monkey to write these crazy stories I write for The Spoof. Chances are, a mean-tempered and hostile little ape would do a much better job of writing comedy and satire than this boneheaded writer. And since I'm a lazy s...
Read full storyIn Kentucky, Answers in Genesis Recreates a Biblical Flood to Float Noah's Ark
Williamstown, KY--Answers in Genesis, the fundamentalist Bible apologetics organization that advocates the Earth is only four thousand years old and even built a museum in Petersburg, KY, to prove that thesis, announced today that they were going to...
Read full storyMan Playing Pokémon Go App Eaten By Lions
Kenya, Africa - The instant addiction to the new Pokémon Go game has already reached all corners of the globe, causing its players all sorts of unique injuries in pursuit of hunting Pokémon. But one poor Kenyan fellow won't be Facebooking his injurie...
Read full storyThe Potter Bank Opens in London
LONDON UK: A new bank has just opened in London. Who owns the bank and who runs it is still a guarded secret. But it is a bank like no other. It has its own pub, massage parlour and meditation room. And boasts a disturbing mural in the foyer depictin...
Read full storyBill and Melania Pay Lip Service to Their Secret Meeting
Washington, D.C.: Bill Clinton met secretly with Melania Trump at the Watergate Hotel to work on his speech for the Democratic National Convention. While former President Clinton has given many political speeches throughout his storied career, he...
Read full storyCitizens of Punxsutawney file class action suit against Bill Murray
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. - After years of appeals to public government and no tangible results to show for it, residents of Punxsutawney have filed a class action lawsuit against actor Bill Murray for his involvement in the film "Groundhog Day" and the resu...
Read full storyNew Vacuum Cleaner Doubles as a Watch Dog
The Silicon Valley tech company of Lonco has just produced its latest product called Dogvac which is set to be released into the market on August 12 of this year. Dogvac is by far Lonco's most ingenious invention ever as it combines the high powered...
Read full storyGod Files Defamation Lawsuit Against Angel Soft Toilet Paper
Vatican City, Italy - God has given word to Pope Francis that he wants the pontiff to file a lawsuit in New Jersey's 2nd appellate court, claiming that Angel Soft toilet paper is guilty of defamation of character against his beloved angels. "God w...
Read full storyHer Majesty Mistakenly Locked in Men's Wimbledon Locker Room
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was found unharmed on Friday afternoon at the All-England Lawn & Tennis Club in London. Her discovery was preceded by a failed and unnerving thirty-five minute search of the Wimbledon tennis grounds by her security...
Read full storyRepublican Convention: Ready, Set - Hold It
Marla Maples will open the proceeding singing:My Man. If there is a standing ovation, she will encore using the Little Fish routine she performed in the Dancing With The Stars contest, even though the routine followed with her elimination. It m...
Read full storyBritain In Shock As Michael Gove Reveals The True Reason He Ceased To Endorse Boris Johnson For British Prime Minister
Michael Gove, the former Secretary of State for Justice, stunned Britain today when he revealed at a press conference the true reason why he had ceased to endorse Boris Johnson as a candidate for British Prime Minister. 'The truth is,' admitted a...
Read full storyThe Singularity Is HERE! Monsanto Produces First Genetically Modified Human - Who/Which Bears Remarkable Resemblance to Average American Male
Scientists everywhere agree that technology is progressing at an exponential rate and that, ultimately, biology and technology will fully and irrevocably merge - a phenomenon many have termed the "singularity." What's been hotly debated, however, is...
Read full storyNew Study Finds Yelling At Golf Ball Has No Effect
West Palm Beach, FL - A recent study conducted at golf tournaments on the PGA Tour and LPGA events has uncovered the disheartening fact that yelling at your golf ball during flight has absolutely no effect on how it behaves. "I just can't believe...
Read full storyClinton Supporters Don't Trust Her With Their Email Addresses
While Clinton supporters say they would trust her with the nations nuclear codes, most of her campaign contributors do not trust her with their email addresses. A source in the Clinton machine tells us the campaign has a fraction of the email addr...
Read full storyClinton Campaign Message Not to Elect a "Narcissistic Sociopath" Leaves Many Voters Confused
With less than a week to go before the election, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton stepped up the aggressiveness of her campaign messaging in an effort to ensure the defeat of Republican presidential rival Donald Trump, urging voters,...
Read full storyIvanka Secretly Agrees to Vote for Hillary in Recorded Confession
Washington, DC: Sources inside the Clinton campaign have disclosed that Ivanka Trump, daughter of Donald Trump, is voting for Hillary Clinton in the presidential general election. Ms. Trump is close personal friends with Hillary Clinton's daughter,...
Read full storyPokemon NO GO
Pokémon Go! A light hearted game that has brought joy to millions inside and outside the UK. A harmless scavenger hunt designed to bring players together in the search for the elusive Mewtwo (or three). But what if the App had other more sinister ram...
Read full storyI Awoke To See His Bare Buttocks Hovering Over Me!
Lansing MI: Janis Porter blew the lid off of a secretive, filthy game of sensuous perversions that's rocked the world of orthodontics to it's core! Her nightmare began when she went in for a routine root canal last Wednesday. "My teeth are a mess...
Read full storyBMW Researching Self-Driving Cars
Like many auto manufacturers, BMW has been actively researching technologies that will, in the not too distant future, enable cars to drive themselves. In an exclusive Spoof News interview, Chief Engineer Max Brennstoff outlined some of the challenges that his team has encountered. "We failed to anticipate how difficult it would be to program even the most sophisticated computers available tod...
Read full storyHillary: I Never Had Sexual Relations With That Woman
BILLINGSGATE POST: Bill Clinton, in his stem winder speech before the Democratic Convention Wednesday evening, spoke of how he first met Hillary as a young girl at Yale Law School. He raved about his future soul mate's virtues: "She wore no make-up,...
Read full storyObama Embrace Of Clinton At Democratic Convention Turns Sexual
Philadelphia - Just moments after saying, "she'll finish the job," President Barack Obama was met on stage by Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton before the cheering throng of delegates to the 2016 Democratic Convention. The two embraced, and walked...
Read full storyHillary Clinton and I really went on a booze bender for a couple of days!
I was driving down Route 94 through Detroit a couple days ago and something that looked like a witch flew out of the shadows and attached itself to my car. "What in the mudder-fried hell?!!!" screamed and thundered through my head. I was scared s...
Read full storyNorthern Line at rush hour revealed as Dante's tenth circle of hell
In a shock statement, the tenth circle of hell from Dante's "Inferno" has been named as the Northern Line at rush hour. Intended as the circle to punish commuters for trusting the British public transportation system, this horrendous site sees an...
Read full storyTrump's Reversal: I Love the Illegals
In a stunning turn of events today Donald Trump has stated that he now welcomes all illegal aliens with open arms to "come to our country and take the jobs vacated by Canada bound Democrats". In a move to help expedite the mass exodus of me...
Read full storyForward passing banned by FIFA
They've gone ahead and done it. After fewer and fewer examples of the ball actually being kicked up the pitch towards the opponent's goal in the latest Euro 2016 Championships, FIFA have taken the bull by the horns and banned all forward passing…
Read full storyRepublican Leaders Concerned About Trump's "New GOP"
With anti-imigrant sentiment fueling the disastrous Brexit vote in the UK, GOP leaders in the US worry about the new people Donald trump is bragging about bringing in to the party, and what effects Trump's bigotry and xenophobia will have on their pa...
Read full storyStevie G G G - Possible Liverpool Comeback For Gerrard?
Steven Gerrard has opened up on a possible return to Liverpool and yet another round of emotional send offs at grounds where the fans hate him. Since Stevie G left Liverpool have gone from strength to strength in cementing mid table finishes and anti...
Read full story"The bitter angels of our nature": The Trump Campaign Caught Plagiarizing Again
Springfield, IL--Donald Trump, at a rally in the city where Abraham Lincoln launched his political career, was caught plagiarizing the person whom many consider to be the founder of the Republican Party in a campaign speech he delivered to a grou...
Read full storyTrump's Climbing in your Windows, Snatchin' Yo People Up
Well, obviously, we have a rapist in Central Park. Trump's climbing in your windows, he's snatchin' yo people up, tryin' to rape 'em, so y'all need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband, cuz Trump's raping everybody out there. Here's the video of how she was attacked by some idiot billionaire above. It's hard not to explode into a fit of hysterical l...
Read full storyMay or not to May, maybe?
After the upheaval of the past three weeks British people have been forced to ask the question, May or not May maybe? As others jumped the sinking ship which they torpedoed themselves, it has been left to May to maybe upright the sinking Titanic in t...
Read full story2016 NFL Predictions
*In late August, Aaron Rodgers disappears for two days, and later claims to have been abducted by aliens. Rodgers tearfully admits that the aliens probed him rectally with a vegetable, and many Rodgers critics later claim that he still has the cornco...
Read full storyCharlie Brown Loses Virginity
The sequence of events began innocuously enough, with the Cute Little Red-Haired Girl flashing a shy smile in Charlie Brown's direction as she read the note which he had hidden in her spelling textbook. When the final bell rang, she wasted no time in tucking her gym towel under one arm and taking Charlie by the hand, coyly leading him to a remote corner of the local pumpkin patch. After her...
Read full storyTrump Will Re-Start Trump University With a Brand-New Curriculum
New York, NY Donald Trump took time off from his failing presidential campaign to announce that he would be opening his failed college, Trump University, for the second time. "This time we have a solid line-up of classes that can't help but make e...
Read full storyMelania Trump: "Four score and seven years ago..."
Melanie Trump took the podium amid cheers Monday night and gave this impassioned speech to honor her husband. The crowd roared its approval! Four score and seven years ago Donald's father brought forth Donald and told the world, "I have brought m...
Read full storyPopcorn Food Truck Causes Riot at Misophonia Convention
Every year providers and patients from around the world travel to a central location to attend the annual Misophonia Convention. Misophonia is a disorder of the autonomous nervous system in which particular patterned sounds are incorrectly processed...
Read full storySaudi Arabia to join Top Gear
RIYADH, KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA - Saudi Arabia, the oil rich Gulf state, has continued its attempt to shake its bad reputation as a regressive, brutal dictatorship by joining the British motoring show Top Gear, replacing host Chris Evans, who left th...
Read full storyVieris Last Waltz
Ex Italy, Torino, Piza, Ravenna, Venezia, Atalanta, Juventus, Atletico Madrid, Lazio, Inter, Milan, Monaco, Sampdoria and Firoentina forward Christian Vieri is to come out of retirement to play in the Chinese Super League. Never a man to stay to long...
Read full story"This song is gay" concludes celebrated music critic
A celebrated music critic has delivered a scathing verdict on the new album by Catfish and the Bottlemen today, taking the band and the internet by storm. After listening to the first 30 seconds of the song and proceeding to take approximately 0.
Read full storyUrkel on Merkel
We are here with Jaleel White, who is best known for his role as nerdy Steve Urkel in the sitcom Family Matters. Jaleel has really grown up and is beyond his Urkel days, but at times it seems fans still confuse him with the character that he played. So today I wanted to get his impressions of Germany Chancellor Angela Merkel. So, Jaleel, I was strangely excited to meet you in person. Why'...
Read full storyDonald Trump Out-Treasons Hillary Clinton
In an apparent race to lose the confidence of US voters, Donald Trump is now out-treasoning Hillary Clinton by calling for the killing of the US families of ISIS fighters. It all started when Donald Trump was called treasonous for asking Russian h...
Read full storyGreat Britain Does It Better
After watching the first bumbling day of the National Republican Convention in Cleveland, one can only remark, with a degree of envy, Great Britain does it better! Or as the song goes: Nobody Does It Better… Yep! David Cameron was PM for breakf...
Read full storyStartling revelation in study of pot smoking by elderly!
In a Mayo Clinic study of one hundred elderly pot smokers there was one revelation that surprised and stunned the small staff that conducted the study. The participants in the study were all volunteers, some of whom regularly smoked and a few who jo...
Read full storyRace For The Moonshot
Over the past several decades there has been an exponential increase in the number of cancer cases. As a result cancer research has been the top priority for the medical science field replacing the incumbent priority diseases AIDS and HIV. People all...
Read full storyProfessor Can't Be Fired For Insensitive Comments On Pokemon Deaths
A Kent State University professor of philosophy who is an admitted Luddite when it comes to tech and gadgets, told students that he thought the Pokemon craze was a great way to "winnow the herd" and that the more people who play the game while walkin...
Read full storyISIS claims responsibility for Trump campaign
WASHINGTON -- With Americans still reeling from the recent GOP nomination of Donald Trump and his ongoing presidential campaign, terrorist organization ISIS have claimed responsibility for the political ordeal. The Trump campaign is the latest at...
Read full storyFranken Florida
A once picturesque state inhabited by retirees, drug smugglers, and Disney has since been turned into a ghoulish green wasteland of toxic algae. One local resident, Billy Buckle, describes the smell as, "if Satan farted and that fart baked in hell fo...
Read full storyMelania Trump Misplaces College Degree
New York, NY: Donald Trump's wife, Melania Trump, has insisted for many years that she has a college degree. After reporters asked for evidence, she stated the degree was lost. "I came to this beautiful America country straight from Slovenia, th...
Read full storyWall Crashes after 42 Bottles of Beer
Wall Street (SAPP) - Hackers from Bavaria have claimed responsibility for toppling a wall full of beer bottles. This follows a long string of mishaps regarding wall security tactics and countermeasures. This most recent security breach is by far the worst. "There were originally about 103 bottles of beer on the wall," says Bud Visor, chief of wall security. "I will be checking into the log file...
Read full storyPokémon mania prompts the emperor to resign
The Royal Palace, Tokyo - - Japanese Emperor Akihito has abdicated his throne to become a professional Pokémon GO player. The Japanese government admits it was taken by surprise by the resignation. It announced that a robot built by Honda would we...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Caught Plagiarizing Melania Trump's Speech
Donald Trump notified the media today that he intends to demand that Hillary Clinton withdraw from the Presidential campaign for her role in the "totally bad thing" that Barack and Michelle Obama did in 2008 when they shamelessly plagiarized Melania'...
Read full storyAfter Surviving FBI Investigation, Hillary Struggles to Find Next Scandal
Hillary Clinton had to temper her excitement after somehow overcoming yet another scandal that looked like it was straight out of House of Cards. At a press conference she exclaimed, "I knew that I would be fine. It'll take more then mountains of irr...
Read full storyCrooked Hill? Questionable Contributions to Clinton Foundation from Foreign Governments - and Bernie Sanders!
The Clinton Foundation, which, during Hillary Rodham Clinton's tenure as secretary of state, accepted millions of dollars from such conflict-ridden, human-rights-challenged foreign governments as Kuwait, Qatar, and Algeria, has reportedly received an...
Read full storyBritain becomes third world country due to lack of third runway at Heathrow
LONDON, ENGLAND - The damning economic report issued today revealed the lowest GDP growth figures in British history, effectively rendering Britain a third world country. Economists, politicians and self-proclaimed "experts" from down the pub wer...
Read full storyCanada Wants to Build a Wall Separating Ontario From Michigan
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced today that a wall would be built in Windsor, along the border with Detroit. "We don't understand why people would even question our wall! We have gun-toting DETROIT right acr...
Read full storyTrump wants to protect Articles 8 through 12, even though they don't exist
Washington, D.C. - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump vows to protect all 12 Articles of the Constitution, should he be elected president. Although this news was welcome music to many Americans, most of those Americans appear to be une...
Read full storyArea Mom's Facebook Response to Nice Attack Notes She Had a Great Meal There Once
MORRISTOWN, NJ--In a Facebook post offering her condolences on the tragic events unfolding in Nice, France, area mother Brianna Simpson pointedly noted that she had a great meal in Nice several years ago. "My heart is broken about what is happenin...
Read full storyHilarious Hillary - FBI Interview
Last week's 3-1/2 hour FBI interview re Hillary Clinton's handling of State Department emails drew front page headlines nationwide. However, what if the FBI and Hillary already know that no crime was committed because she never disseminated any e...
Read full storyJesus Hangs Up His Crown of Thorns, Looks Forward To Retirement
According a late-day press conference, God announced Jesus would no longer be in the family business and that the two had mutually agreed to part ways after over 2,000 years of working together. "It probably wasn't a good idea from the start," J...
Read full storyUSA Hijacked By NRA
The United States' been hijacked by the National Rifle Association. Not as dramatic as the Orson Welles radio broadcast, War of the Worlds, but it's pretty much a done deal. The NRA managed the hijack by making campaign contributions to Republican me...
Read full storyToddlers Insisting on Tommy John Surgery
Dr. Omar Claude, president of Admiral University's institute of orthopedics, is alarmed at the amount of three and four-year-old boys opting for a procedure common in many professional baseball pitchers. Ulnar collateral ligament reconstruction,...
Read full storyF8I (F..king 8 Idiots) Decide Hillary Not Guilty: The Fix Is In
BILLINGSGATE POST: Laurel and Hardy? The Three Stooges? Abbott and Costello? W.C. Fields? Count em. Add them up. You get the F8I (F..cking 8 Idiots). Individually and collectively, they still weren't as inexplicably stupid as FBI Director Jam...
Read full storyHillary and Bill Clinton have a heart-to-heart talk over vino fino and java
"Oh waiter, waiter, get me another glass of wine." Hillary Clinton smiled at the handsome young waiter, who was also the bartender at Taste of France in a suburb of Flint, Mich., and then scowled at her significant other. Bill Clinton was slumped...
Read full storyIran Inquest
For those of you looking for a in depth look at the Chilcot report....that happened in Iraq not Iran. Get your geography sorted. In a world scarred by shootings, explosions and Kim West V Taylor Swift Iran has finally lost it's shit with one of th...
Read full storyGOP: We'll Impeach Bill If Hillary Takes Office
Republicans see a bright side if Hillary Clinton becomes President, a second chance to impeach her husband. "Seeing Mr. Clinton face Congressional scrutiny will become the Senate's number one priority if she takes the White House" a spokesperson for...
Read full storyLeg hair Links To Depression
A study has discovered that the early onset of leg hair in teenage boys is linked with depression in later life. Dr L. John of the Institute for Back, Bum, Leg and Pubic Hair released a short statement. Dropping it from the institutes blimp as it soa...
Read full storyFarage, Cameron & Bojo to star in "Bridge over the River Thames!"
Hollywood have been so fascinated with the parallel campaigns, Brexit and Trump, they have decided to make a revamp of that classic war film "Bridge over the river Kwai" and this latest version is called "Bridge over the River Thames!" Farage, Boj...
Read full storyHighly Trained Attack Moths Fail to Prevent UEFA Upset Victory by Portugal
Despite France's attempts to use trained attack moths to increase their advantage against the underdog Portugal in the 2016 UEFA Euro Final, Portugal stole a surprising 1-0 victory against all odds. It has been speculated that the move to employ the...
Read full storyThe Hyperdermic Olympics
There has always been a concern that there's more drugs in Russian athletes than in most 60s rock bands. After more Russian athletes were banned from competing in the Rio Olympics we caught up with our good friend Vald Putin to see what he had to say...
Read full storyAll crime ceases as Trump becomes president
*DISCLAIMER* All names of people and organisations contained herein, barring Mr Trump, are works of fiction and any resemblance to any real figure is purely coincidental WASHINGTON, D.C., January 21st, 2017 - BREAKING: Since President Donald Trump...
Read full storyInquest into Disappearance of London Taxicab Passenger
LONDON: An in-cab surveillance video has been leaked on the internet prior to the Scotland Yard investigation of its driver Fintan Murphy in London. Murphy is suspected in the disappearance of his middle-aged passenger Julian Forsyth Davidson-Clar...
Read full storySupreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Talks Trash About Donald Trump
Since when does a judge have a right to an opinion? This is outrageous! A judge, particularly a female, should remain silent, wear black, smile and never utter a single word! Male judges, on the other hand, since they're equipped with a piece of phys...
Read full storyMichael Gove to Present BBC Top Gear
In a move which has wrong footed many of his colleagues and former friends, the Justice Secretary is now the bookies favourite to replace Chris Evans as the presenter of the hit BBC show 'Top Gear'. Following the shock resignation of Chris Evans,...
Read full storyNO LIVES MATTER as God orders the start of the apocalypse
After checking out facebook for a half hour, and reading the comments section under a review for the Ghostbusters remake, God decided enough was enough, and had the seven angels sound their trumpets marking the end of the rein of mankind on earth.
Read full storyFormer Muppet Presidential Candidate Withholds Endorsement at 2016 Convention
In a tense moment in his prime-time speech at the 2016 National Convention, defunct Muppet Presidential Candidate, Chicken Jerky, denied endorsement to the party's chosen candidate, Angry Cheeto. An orange, cheesy shadow loomed menacingly in the b...
Read full storyFat Arses and Fat Wallets
Brits will spend £16billion on snacks, takeaways and sugary drinks this year. Scientists (those guys who are YET to cure racism) have said it's due to our extremely busy lifestyles. Back and to the Left news reckon it's to do with those aforementione...
Read full storyJohn Barron to Speak at Republican National Convention
Among the list of notables scheduled to speak at this year's RNC in Cleveland is John Barron, a man who is alleged to be actually an alter-ego of Donald Trump himself. "It's his greatest con ever!", exclaimed Jody Miller, thrice-convicted grifter...
Read full story