Trump Seeks Tactical Nukes For His Jet

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Friday, 29 July 2016

image for Trump Seeks Tactical Nukes For His Jet
Eliabeth Warren ridiculed the idea of arming Trump's personal jet with tactical nukes, calling his jet "Hair Force One."

Complaining that it's unfair for him to wait till he's officially president to have full US military and Secret Service protection, Donald Trump says he should be allowed to outfit his personal jet with tactical or so called "theater" nukes because of the threat from ISIS.

Elizabeth Warren responded to Trump's fear mongering by exploiting the fear of Trump starting World War III.

"We have to make sure Donald Trump is never anywhere near our nations nuclear command structure," Warren said, "Unless you think another world war is a good idea. His bizarre request to carry nukes on his personal jet 'Hair Force One' defies logic, but then again this reality candidate's reality has always defied and denied logic and reasoning."

Military expert Rupert Culman said Trump's comments show how much he doesn't know about Air Force One and presidential protection.

"The idea that the presidents jet is equipped with nuclear weapons is ridiculous. While no doubt it does have highly advanced defensive capabilities, mostly in the form of lasers and directed wave devices, it's up to the surrounding aircraft with trained military pilots to handle the most lethal weaponry. It's most likely nuclear weapons are part of the flying arsenal that escorts Air Force One, that said, the DOD neither confirms nor denies that nuclear is part of the weaponry in the presidential air convoy."

Senate scarecrow Mitch McConnell told a CNN news crew that he was introducing legislation that would allow Donald Trump and other presidential candidates to arm their personal aircraft with tactical nuclear devices.

"I think with the threat we face from ISIS it's even more important that we allow Americans with the means to nuke up, and Donald Trump is ready for the responsibility that comes along with the fun of having a few tactical nukes on hand."

Former Vice President Darth Cheney agreed with McConnell saying, "The only thing better than hunting on a Sunday afternoon would be firing off a few theater nuclear devices and watching the mushroom clouds rise until the sunset."

Paul Ryan thinks the idea is a good test to show people who doubt Trump's temperament.

"It's important we let voters see that Donald Trump can handle tactical nukes on his jet, and we need to do it in time for the election because Hillary is seen as stronger on defense than he is."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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