The 16th president of the U.S. may be known as "Honest Abe," but he's been hiding a secret room behind his face on Mount Rushmore.
The room is not accessible to the public, but through the use of long-distance, super duper X-ray technology, an intrepid reporter at The Spoof has begun to investigate what's been hidden in this room. Here's a preliminary report on some of the contents:
-- A cache of Weapons of Mass Destruction.
-- A mini UFO, with a likeness of Donald Trump on the top.
-- A file containing Hillary Clinton's missing emails.
-- Discount coupons for McDonald's, Dunkin' Donuts and Hooters.
-- A box containing an audio tape, marked: "18-minute Gap in Nixon's Watergate tapes."
The Spoof will continue to hustle on researching other contents of this room. As Lincoln himself once said, "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle."