USA Hijacked By NRA

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 14 July 2016

image for USA Hijacked By NRA
"One rapid-fire assult rifle, please."

The United States' been hijacked by the National Rifle Association. Not as dramatic as the Orson Welles radio broadcast, War of the Worlds, but it's pretty much a done deal. The NRA managed the hijack by making campaign contributions to Republican members of the House and Senate. Then, members cast votes in accordance with the NRA.

Who's your Daddy?

After the massacre in Orlando, Donald Trump announced: "I called it."

After sane minds prevailed, he followed that announcement saying he would call in the NRA and, 'work something out…'

Big shot!

The NRA didn't appear too interested in 'working something out'. Nothing more was said by Donald Trump.

Little shot!

Records suggest that Orson Welles and his War of the Worlds episode had half the nation petrified with the thought of Martians landing, invading the streets and about to come knocking at the door.

No Tom Cruise to save them.

People panicked and were reported to have run to their cars and head for the safety of the hills. Right, running from Martians with the ability to travel through the solar system and reach planet earth...

The Republicans in the House and Senate aren't worried about Martians, but agree with the NRA. Fifty people were killed in Orlando with a rapid-fire assault rifle. Fifty more were wounded.

Orlando killings could have been avoided by passing common-sense gun prevention measures requiring background checks for purchase of rapid-fire assault rifles: If you're on the no-fly list, you're listed on a background check list.

NRA says: "No. They'd rather blame you as law-abiding gun owners than make President Obama answer for his failures in the global war on terror."

Fellas, get your argument in the crosshairs: Terror started when George W. Bush invaded Iraq, and the NRA is allowing people on the 'no-fly' list buy rapid-fire assault rifles.

Say, Osama bin Laden were still alive and on the 'no-fly' list. He sneaks into the US by tunnel, surfboard or disguised as a Canadian Monty. He could still walk into a gun shop and purchase a rapid-fire assault rifle.

That's okay with the NRA.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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