Trump's Climbing in your Windows, Snatchin' Yo People Up

Funny story written by UFO Jesus

Thursday, 7 July 2016


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Well, obviously, we have a rapist in Central Park. Trump's climbing in your windows, he's snatchin' yo people up, tryin' to rape 'em, so y'all need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband, cuz Trump's raping everybody out there.

Here's the video of how she was attacked by some idiot billionaire above.

It's hard not to explode into a fit of hysterical laughter at the poetic justice.

Here we have a billionaire demagogue who is universally despised by minorities and countless other groups around the world, and who has been roasted mercilessly by Obama over the birther movement.

But since the Donald is an entertainer and very little else, he felt he had to raise the bar even more before NBC fired him off his own show. You see, he's not one to retreat with the tail between his legs, so he just had to let us have it.

It all began on a fine summer day in June of 2015. A reality TV clown decided he was too bored with his real estate empire and other miscellaneous business ventures, so he figured he'd run for prez.

Almost immediately, the hilarity began (no pun intended) with the oversized, tacky-old-fart baseball caps proclaiming "Make America Great Again."

Ivanka, the ever-submissive darling daughter who wouldn't dare question daddy, came up with a new fashion shoe line to help campaign attendees stand on their feet for hours, chanting white supremacist cadences without developing calluses.

Then there's Melanya with her world-class accent, "My husband ees a great man! He's gonna weeen!", calling her Eastern European goons via Skype to have them design angry-mob-proof outfits for the entire family.

And I could go on and on describing the KKK paraphernalia Eric Trump had custom made for him and his NRA-loving brother Don, and the buses full of ex-prison cons Corey Lewandowski personally dispatched to go beat up on blacks and Mexicans at the Donald's Neo Nazi rallies.

Let's just say Hillary's army of ETs are having a blast in the Fourth Dimension right now, gearing up for the UFO Armageddon this November. So much so that FBI Godfather James Comey and the very amicable Loretta Lynch have joined forces and are now, as we speak, being knighted by the Order of Jedi Siths in the Orion Galaxy.

The Internetz is quite a splendid amusement park, Hill has learned, and she's milking it for all it's got.

Go Hillary! Your Twitter trolls defend you.

And as for Trump, the ETs from the Fourth Dimension have a message for him:

You don't have to come and confess,

We looking for YOU,

We gon find you, we gon find you,

So you can run and tell that,

Run and tell that, run and tell that,

Homeboy, home, home, homeboy

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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