Clinton Campaign Message Not to Elect a "Narcissistic Sociopath" Leaves Many Voters Confused

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 29 July 2016

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"Bill Clinton's not even running!" was one confused voter's response to the message not to elect a narcissistic sociopath.

With less than a week to go before the election, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton stepped up the aggressiveness of her campaign messaging in an effort to ensure the defeat of Republican presidential rival Donald Trump, urging voters, above all else, not to elect a "narcissistic sociopath" to the White House. Somewhat to her dismay, however, Clinton soon realized that the message was leaving many voters extremely confused.

"But that's exactly why I was supporting Bernie, not Hillary!" protested former Bernie Sanders supporter Claude Berry. "I thought Hillary wanted our vote."

At the remark, Berry's girlfriend, Lisa Porter, nudged him gently. "Honey, they're talking about Trump."

Berry's eyes narrowed for a moment - and then widened in sudden understanding. "Oh, got it! Right."

Berry wasn't the only one bemused by Clinton's "no narcissistic sociopath in the White House" admonishment.

"Is a sociopath different from a psychopath?" California resident Parker Wood queried a Clinton campaign aide, who replied irritably, "For election purposes, they're pretty much the same."

Vermont voter Nick Anderson likewise admitted to initially being rather baffled by this particular Clinton campaign directive. "At first I was like, what? Bill Clinton's not even running!"

And New York City resident Kelsey O'Hara was overtly nonplussed by the Clinton campaign message. "Then who the hell are we supposed to vote for?" she demanded angrily.

Nebraska college student Eric Cole, on the other hand, was one of the few to claim to have found Clinton's campaign message incredibly inspiring.

"Believe me, I'm no Hillary fan," said Cole, "but even I have to admit it was pretty cool and unselfish of her to put in an indirect plug for the one non-sociopath running, Green Party candidate Jill Stein." With a smiling shake of his head, he added, "Never in a million years did I think I'd ever be saying this, but in this particular instance I'm actually going to take Hillary's advice!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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