A study has discovered that the early onset of leg hair in teenage boys is linked with depression in later life. Dr L. John of the Institute for Back, Bum, Leg and Pubic Hair released a short statement. Dropping it from the institutes blimp as it soared majestically above the city. The statement read:
"The early onset of massed leg hair in teenage boys (aged 13-14) is irrevocably linked with depression and suicide in later life. Once a boy begins to develop "wolfitis" then the questions from other more curious, smooth boys may begin. "Was your dad a gorilla?" "Do you shave your legs like a girl?" and so on. Eventually the boys will grow up ashamed of their natural hair growth and resort to never wearing shorts in adulthood. This lack of short wearing ability leads to a downward spiral of drink, drugs, depression and eventually (in 98% of cases) death."
Scary stuff to be dropped on us from a blimp on a Wednesday afternoon.
We contacted the Royal National Institute Of Science And Space Stuff but they had no comment other than "Bugger off your not a real journalist"
Have they something to hide? Do they believe the early onset of leg hair in teenage boys is actually far more sinister than Dr L. John and The Institute for Back, Bum, Leg and Pubic Hair believe? We'll probably never know.
Well we would if we did some investigating but it's clocking off time and who's going to drink this crate of White Lightning cider behind the local TESCOS if it's not us. You? Thought not.