Pokemon Go Sees Everything You Do

Funny story written by Waskily Wabbit

Thursday, 14 July 2016

All across the nation, the oblivious idiot troupe of Pokemon followers wreak havoc by simply not paying attention; but there is more nefarious plans for the idolatry app. Hackers are aware of a back door linked to them on 4chan and CreepyPasta that allows the user to drop in and record everything the augmented reality is picking up.

Allowing a private look into virtually everyone's lives, whether or not if that person is playing, all you need to do is be around someone who is.

Here are some recent reports of Pokemon GO goings on:

Anaheim, California - hundreds of people are walking around, phones in hand oblivious to their natural surroundings, viewing life though augmented reality at a chance to glimpse the action of rare pokemons.

Denver, Colorado - A college girl has he bathroom routine interrupted by a Pokemon Go player walking right in on her to capture a "Squirt", a rare pokemon. No police report was filed, due to the nature of the incident and the attitude of nonchalance the player gave when not even noticing the nudity before him.

Kansas City, Missouri - A Med Tech walks in on an ongoing surgery and yells in ecstatic joy over the capture over yet another pokemon, making the surgeon fumble the blade in his hand and slicing through vital organs.

Valuable data can be gained from people such as current location, the phone being used, viewed data such as credit card numbers and vin tag numbers.

A team of hacktivist are already capitalizing on the trend, sending the viewing links out to anyone who asks.

When asked about how the back door was found, one hacker that goes by the name, "Emily, it's your ex, I have all your info and I will never give up", said that the back door really isn't a back door at all, but a easter egg inside the app used by the NSA to gather intel on everyone. It's cautioned that if anyone finds or receives the link to view Pokemon Go players, they will be redirected to a government website, and to make sure they are on a floating server with a rotational ISP address or just use a Starbucks while wearing a nondescript hoodie.

For those playing be aware; you are being watched by at least 20 people at any given time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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