Canada, Mexico Propose Longest International Bridge Ever

Funny story written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Sunday, 3 July 2016

image for Canada, Mexico Propose Longest International Bridge Ever
Bigger than this. Way, way bigger.

At the close of the recent "Three Amoebas" summit in Ottawa, Canadian Pry Minister Justin Truedough and Mexican President Enrique Pipi Nuevo passed a joint back and forth before jointly taking the podium to make a joint announcement:

"While Enrique and I have agreed to work with whatever hoser wins the upcoming U.S. presidential election," Truedough began, " we are somewhat worried about the impact of a Trump victory on the growing bilateral trade between Canada and Mexico."

Pipi Nuevo continued: "In the event that that bendejo wins the election, we propose building a bridge between our two countries, with its southern terminus in Nuevo Laredo and its northern terminus in Windsor. The only thing which will touch American soil will be support pillars approximately one quarter mile apart, maybe six thousand of them in total. There will be restaurants, motels, and gas stations on the bridge platform itself, so that travelers can stop for siesta."

Outgoing U.S. president Barragh O'Bama, apparently blindsided by this announcement, could only stammer: "That's going to cost trillions! Who's going to pay?"

Pipi Nuevo replied: "We are pleasantly surprised by Senor Trump's generosity. As long as we name this bridge after him, he will personally foot the bill."

"When he realized how many homeless Americans could sleep under a bridge that size," continued Truedough, "he figured out that he would be able to slash the U.S. social housing budget. Smart businessman, that!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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