Hillary Clinton had to temper her excitement after somehow overcoming yet another scandal that looked like it was straight out of House of Cards. At a press conference she exclaimed, "I knew that I would be fine. It'll take more then mountains of irrefutable evidence and an FBI investigation to take me down. I'm just glad to put this little incident behind me, so I can move on to the more important issues, like starting World War III."
Clinton's campaign staff was expecting a night off after the good news since they were exhausted from covering up all of Hillary's lies and misplaced emails the past several months. Unfortunately they weren't allowed time off, because Hillary told them they had to come up with an even bigger scandal for her to overcome.
According to one of her staffers Hillary came into the campaign headquarters laughing maniacally with a crazed look on her face. "She said that nothing would stand in her away, especially not something as silly as the law or the FBI. She then stood on the table and yelled at us to find her an ever bigger scandal for her to vanquish. She said that she wanted to blow Nixon's watergate scandal out of the water. She then beat the shit out of an intern and left."
Unnamed sources are also reporting that Hillary is considering naming OJ Simpson as her Vice President.