Pokémon Go! A light hearted game that has brought joy to millions inside and outside the UK. A harmless scavenger hunt designed to bring players together in the search for the elusive Mewtwo (or three). But what if the App had other more sinister ramifications.
Greater Manchester Police issued a warning yesterday morning stating that the App could be used by "predators" to "track" the "movements" of children.
The horrifying implication of this is that the Bulbasaur you think your 19Y/O is grabbing. Might just be a BulbaPERVERT!
Alice Hatstand of Wilmington On Sea grabbed us as we passed her chip shop to tell us some home truths.
As a mother I am rightly concerned about all this Pokemonning going on people wandering around looking for Charmanders to turn into Charmeleans...what's next a Charizard in our schools? Dr's wearing Burkhas?
We were confused. But as quoting her would use up our word count we let her continue.
I read on www.pokemonGoisevilandhaslinkstoISIS.web that although most users are getting one version of the game other users are downloading another.
Go on. We were rapidly losing interest. Like our savings account.
Well every time a child downloads Pokémon Go your camera on your phone takes a picture of you and saves it. Then your child's picture, along with their Pokémon Go progress is touted on the "Dark Web". To perverts.
Are you sure this is happening?
I'm a mother! The information is sold to perverts all around the world so they can track your child's movements and eventually kidnap them.
What do they do with the Pokémon?
Probably sell them to butchers. Everyone know Cliffairy meat is HALAL.
With that she went back inside to tend to the customers she had left waiting while she spoke to us.
Was the whole app a ruse to lure more children into the clutches of perverts lurking in the nether reaches of the Dark Web? Was it just another plot to radicalise our children? How do penguins survive? I mean just look at them their frigging stupid.
If you have any evidence that perverts operating from the Dark Web are running this app as a all you can eat PokeBuffet contact your local Pokémon gym trainer ASAP
Any misspelling of Pokémon names isn't a mistake it's their actual spelling. We asked Ash.