May or not to May, maybe?

Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

image for May or not to May, maybe?
He would never have back-stabbed Hitler either!

After the upheaval of the past three weeks British people have been forced to ask the question, May or not May maybe? As others jumped the sinking ship which they torpedoed themselves, it has been left to May to maybe upright the sinking Titanic in time for the Christmas rush, which in the UK starts in May.

Well here are a few "mays" that May may have to address before turning the Titanic upside down before it get's hit by another iceberg from Iceland:

1) May will need to convince every staunch Englishman that she is not a pro-European Merkel clone because she voted for remain, but when the PM's job became vacant, she decided to burn her cross and join the Lionhearted Crusaders leaving (typical politician's backstabbing move).

2) May may have to tell all Eastern European Gastarbeiters residing in the UK to get lost unless she promises to allow them to stay, but only if they continue cleaning bogs, hotels, and other shitty jobs including picking spuds, cabbages, Non-Brussel (Name changed because of intimidation from Brit Nazis) Sprouts, and generally sweeping up the crap that lazy Brits who voted leave do not care for because blagging their unemployment benefits is easier.

3) May may have to shake hands with the new US President or get shagged by either of them (If you get my point?).

4) May is determined not to be the new "Iron Lady" and has promised never to lick another American's President butt like the other one did. However, if Trump becomes president she will gladly give him a "Blow" (naughty) because he shags everything that stands in his way so it's better to be on oral contact with him than against him!

5) May may find it difficult building bridges with Europe because they have been "blitzed" by Bojo, Farage and Cameron! However, being a women, she has a "head" advantage over a male PM because giving a bit of "head" whilst kneeling and begging for forgiveness for her fellow Brits who voted leave will sway the Italian PM, a former gigolo, because all Italians love their Mama's and older women!

There you have it; May's path may not be easy after the turbulence left behind by the dynamic trio, but when there's no Labour involved (non maternal) there's still hope!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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