Former Muppet Presidential Candidate Withholds Endorsement at 2016 Convention

Funny story written by pinkwalrus

Friday, 22 July 2016

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In a tense moment in his prime-time speech at the 2016 National Convention, defunct Muppet Presidential Candidate, Chicken Jerky, denied endorsement to the party's chosen candidate, Angry Cheeto.

An orange, cheesy shadow loomed menacingly in the back of the convention hall as Chicken Jerky urged all the attendees to "vote their conscience" while the crowd booed him.

Angry Cheeto's campaign had been forewarned by Jerky, given a copy of his speech ahead of time, but Cheeto was not willing to ask "pretty please" for the endorsement, preferring instead to communicate his displeasure from the back of the room.

Asked why he did not publicly endorse Cheeto in a sign of party unity, Chicken Jerky said that Cheeto had crossed the political line when he attacked and insulted his family as part of the fight for the nomination. Cheeto attacked Jerky's Cuban father, Tasajo Jerky and his wife, Texas Gourmet Jerky.

Chicken Jerky is extremely unpopular with his party at the moment. Unpopular because he is not willing to throw his support behind Angry Cheeto? Or because chicken's just really not the ideal jerky meat?

Either way it will be a tough time for the dried meat.

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