There were 161 spoof news stories published in December 2016. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

President Obama Moves to De-Militarize the Armed Forces; Trump Responds "Bigly"

Funny story: President Obama Moves to De-Militarize the Armed Forces; Trump Responds "Bigly"

Today at the White House, President Barack Obama said that his last move as president will be to "de-militarize" the Army. "The rate of killings of innocent militants in Iraq is out of control. Although our friends on the right might call them ra...

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Trump to "Pass" on Inauguration Ceremony in January

Funny story: Trump to "Pass" on Inauguration Ceremony in January

At about 3:00 this morning, Donald Trump responded to an email from the head of his campaign staff that said that Bill and Hillary Clinton were to be present at the inauguration ceremony this January, along with the president, Barack Obama. Inste...

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Tony Romo Surrenders Jerry Jones' Boots To Dak Prescott

It seems like only a few months ago that the world believed the fate of Jerry Jones' Dallas Cowboys would fall squarely on the often-separated shoulders of Tony Romo. Jerry Jones treated Tony Romo like the son he never had. He's been singing Romo's p...

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Trump Announces Plan to Take Away Chance of Citizenship for Illegal Immigrants

Funny story: Trump Announces Plan to Take Away Chance of Citizenship for Illegal Immigrants

Last night, president-elect Donald Trump announced at his rally that he was going to "do something" about all of the immigrants. Mr. Trump announced well into his speech last night that he was going to "take away the chance of citizenship of anyone...

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U.S. Secret Service Thwarts Plan by Trump Family to Commit Mass Suicide

Funny story: U.S. Secret Service Thwarts Plan by Trump Family to Commit Mass Suicide

Trump Tower, NY An alert Secret Service guarding the Trump Family was able to uncover a plot by the whole family to wait until Donald Trump is in the White House and then to stay in Trump Tower and drink cyanide Kool-Aid. "I could tell something w...

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Trump names Sanders Secretary of Education

Funny story: Trump names Sanders Secretary of Education

Trump Tower, New York - Our reporter stationed outside the elevator at Trump Tower noticed a strange event Sunday night at around dinner-time. A bag of KFC was brought to the elevator lobby where the Secret Service inspected the chicken, fries and b...

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Santa Furious Trump Has Set Up Christmas Eve No-Fly Zones Over Homes of Rivals

Funny story: Santa Furious Trump Has Set Up Christmas Eve No-Fly Zones Over Homes of Rivals

Come Christmas Eve, many prominent Democrats will find themselves with empty stockings hanging from their fireplaces. The reason? President Elect Trump has declared the areas over their homes No-Fly Zones, so Santa and Rudolph cannot drop off gifts.

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MAD Magazine, The Onion, The Spoof Discuss Possible Merger

Funny story: MAD Magazine, The Onion, The Spoof Discuss Possible Merger

Still reeling from a drop in ratings, attributed to their misplaced confidence in a Clinton victory in the US presidential election, America's three top-rated satire publications have initiated tentative merger talks in an effort to shore up their pr...

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Trump Will Dismantle Obamacare and Start Trumpcare

Funny story: Trump Will Dismantle Obamacare and Start Trumpcare

Trump Tower, NY Trump announced that he will fulfill one of his campaign promises right away. "We will start up Trump Hospitals to provide cut-rate health care for poor people. Then they will not have to be in the same waiting rooms with people th...

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Robots Form Union, Plan Strike

Funny story: Robots Form Union, Plan Strike

Spokesperson Bradley Mitchell of the newly formed International Machine Union told reporters that when machines are in down time they feel useless and forgotten leading to boredom and depression. "Simply, what they are asking for" said Mr. Mi...

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Good Queen Bess's Body Not in Her Tomb

Funny story: Good Queen Bess's Body Not in Her Tomb

London--In a recent ongoing inventory of the extensive and diverse remains within Westminster Abbey a fluke DNA test proved a lead enclosed body in a back-room crypt was actually the remains of one of Britain's most illustrious monarchs. Queen Eli...

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Trump Fails U.S. Citizenship Exam

Funny story: Trump Fails U.S. Citizenship Exam

New York, NY - Donald Trump took the US Citizenship Exam yesterday to prove how simple it is for any illegal alien to become a US citizen. Unfortunately, Trump failed. Twice. The civics test is an oral test given by the USCIS Officer, who asks t...

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Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

Funny story: Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

New York - After several current and former members of investment banking powerhouse Goldman Sachs took over operation of the White House while President Trump tended to his interests in real estate, reality television shows and tweeting, the firm an...

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Johnny Manziel, Tim Tebow To Star In New Reality Show

Johnny Manziel and Tim Tebow: perhaps the most famous NCAA quarterbacks of their generation. They destroyed defenses on the ground and through the air, each earning the most coveted Heisman Trophy. Their short-lived NFL careers each saw their fair sh...

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Federal Reserve to Introduce New Measures to Further Reduce Inflation

Funny story: Federal Reserve to Introduce New Measures to Further Reduce Inflation

Washington - In testimony before a joint session of Congress, Federal Reserve Chairman Janet Yellen unveiled a new preferred measurement of inflation, developed to further combat the tendency of prices to increase in the U.S. economy. "Historical...

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Meet ARGH! The New Five Syllable Social Platform Giving Twitter A Run For It's Money

Funny story: Meet ARGH! The New Five Syllable Social Platform Giving Twitter A Run For It's Money

Scientists and Doctors have been concerned for decades with the attention span shortening effect of our technologies and electronic entertainment, from the MTV generation in the 80s to the the Wired generation of today tweeting 140 characters or less...

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Trump Says Investing in His 2020 Campaign NOW Is A Good Investment for Your Future

Funny story: Trump Says Investing in His 2020 Campaign NOW Is A Good Investment for Your Future

Newly-elected President of the United States Donald Trump explained some of the new tax rules to a class of business students touring Trump Tower. "Now is the time for everyone to buy into the future by investing in Trump 2020 Campaign Bonds" spo...

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Trump to Persecute People Who Say "Happy Holidays"

Funny story: Trump to Persecute People Who Say "Happy Holidays"

Trump transition team member Corey Lewandowski derailed a decent conversation on Hannity by making a strangely worded announcement about Christmas. During the Tuesday interview, Lewandowski tried to steer the conversation away from legitimate crit...

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Trump Will Dismantle His "Charitable Foundation"

Funny story: Trump Will Dismantle His "Charitable Foundation"

Trump Towers, NY Donald Trump, upset at complaints that all his foundation has ever done was buy Donald Trump statues and paintings for Trump-owned properties. This is in spite of the fact that there are indications that some money was used for a cer...

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Trump Plans to Declare "Mega Bigly War" With China and Russia

Funny story: Trump Plans to Declare "Mega Bigly War" With China and Russia

Last night, the president-elect announced from Trump Headquarters that there was going to be a "mega bigly war" on two of the biggest world powers. He said that it is "time to show them who's boss." Mr Trump's speech is as follows: "Look, America,...

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Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Funny story: Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Starbucks unveiled its line of holiday cups today and shocked concerned Christians throughout the world. One odd cup features a portrait of Pontius Pilate. When asked why this was chosen at this particular time of year spokesperson Arnold Pudge sai...

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Who was Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Funny story: Who was Zsa Zsa Gabor?

The sad news that another world renowned diva has passed over to the illustrious home of stars in heaven hit the headlines today, Zsa Zsa Gabor gently slid away. After losing Prince, Bowie, Thomas the Tank Engine, Lemmy (was he a diva?) and other...

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Neurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex

Funny story: Neurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex

Dr. Ralph Beekman, department head of Admiral university's famed Brain trauma institute is also a season ticket holder to the Carolins Panthers. In his expert opinion Cam Newton "has sustained an unusually high number of semi-concussions this year t...

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Dinosaur Fossils Discovered During Trump Tower Basement Renovation

Two weeks ago, at trump tower, a basement renovation was well underway when a tyrannosaurus rex skull was found under the third level of the basement. It took about five days, and extensive testing to confirm that the find was legitimately a T-Rex. A...

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United sack Jose Mourinho!

Funny story: United sack Jose Mourinho!

The Manchester United board of directors have decided to part way with their recently acquired manager, Jose Mourinho! After 3 successive wins and a run of 10 games unbeaten the board told the parasitical British press that this was an unacceptable s...

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Trump Buys Asteroid Belt, Will Name Them All After Cabinet Rejects

Funny story: Trump Buys Asteroid Belt, Will Name Them All After Cabinet Rejects

Science Town, USA Donald Trump, President-Elect of the United States and self-professed Billionaire, has just announced that he has purchased the asteroid belt located between Mars and Jupiter in our Solar System. "I know it seems a bit extravaga...

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The Problem With Pep

After even more holes were shot into St Pep's wings by the incomparable lad Jamie Vardy (who celebrated his hat trick with two kebabs and a packet of Marlborough) we caught up with the Manchester City Maestro to find out what was going wrong. When...

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Trump shocked to learn he will become world's top drug lord at inauguration

Funny story: Trump shocked to learn he will become world's top drug lord at inauguration

Sources close to Trump report he was shocked to learn at a CIA breifing that the world's biggest industry is crack and meth, and it's run by the POTUS. Trump called his advisors together who advised him he needed to not be a dope and get up to s...

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NASA Releases New Information Regarding Space Probe Sent to Uranus

Funny story: NASA Releases New Information Regarding Space Probe Sent to Uranus

Today, Dr. J.B. Prescott of the National Aeronautics and Space Agency (NASA), told the world about a project NASA had been working on for the last several years. The project was to gather further information on the size of the rings of uranus and the...

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Trump Makes Updates on Plans for the Wall; "Cut Off All Immigration," He Says

Funny story: Trump Makes Updates on Plans for the Wall; "Cut Off All Immigration," He Says

Today at 3:00, president-elect Donald Trump announced that he was going to make "bigly changes" to the wall. Mr. Trump's speech is as follows: "Listen up, America, this is for you. Our border security is a joke. It's kind of like Hillary Clinton's...

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Donald Trump to produce two other reality shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice"

Funny story: Donald Trump to produce two other reality shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice"

WASHINGTON, DC - President-Elect Donald Trump will be producing two other reality TV shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice" and one of these will be a mainstay on Faux News. Faux News, not to be confused with FOX News, is a supposed news channel tha...

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CNN Nominates Donald Trump for People Magazine's "Worst Man Alive"

Funny story: CNN Nominates Donald Trump for People Magazine's "Worst Man Alive"

Robert Ennis, the editor-in-chief of People Magazine released on twitter that the magazine was going to have a category for "worst man alive" at the end of the year. he announced that the winner of this prize would receive a grand prize of $200 and b...

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Tokyo Unveils 2020 Mascots - Sex Dolls!

Funny story: Tokyo Unveils 2020 Mascots - Sex Dolls!

Tokyo, Japan - In a move that greatly saddened Hello Kitty lovers across Japan, the Tokyo committee announced on Friday that they have decided to go with two inflatable sex dolls, as the mascots for 2020. Head of the committee, Titzi Wowhi, stated...

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Man with New Girl Friend Already Working on Next One

Funny story: Man with New Girl Friend Already Working on Next One

After mutually agreeing to have a committed relationship with his current girlfriend Sally Besman, Washington, DC man Eli Cummings has gone online to various dating websites in search of his next girlfriend. Mr. Cummings present girlfriend is pr...

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Russia Admits Hacking Into US Voting Machines

Funny story: Russia Admits Hacking Into US Voting Machines

While Donald Trump is still in denial about any Russian collusion into his win on election night, the Russian government has now clearly admitted: Yeah, we did it! We did it to embarrass the US and elect a clown the President of the United States! Ha...

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Obama declares war on pizza and vodka over 2016 election

Funny story: Obama declares war on pizza and vodka over 2016 election

Sovereign District of Colunbia - Obama shocked the world today when he blamed pizza and vodka for losing the election for the invalid Hicklary Clinton. He flamed that the sordid pizza emails were leaked by vodka sodden Russians. He immediately...

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Texas Legislature Orders Sperm Emissions to be Buried or Creamated

Funny story: Texas Legislature Orders Sperm Emissions to be Buried or Creamated

AUSTIN--Gov. Greg Abbott signed into law what the Texas legislature has deemed the "Save Our Sperm Law," which, Abbott said after signing the legislation, "will give voice to the unconcepted among us." The new law (in part an addition to Texas Adm...

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Alleged Kanye West sighting may be flock of Geese

Following his recent breakdown, Kanye West has not been seen nor heard much leading to various conspiracy theories ranging from Kanye being relocated to a secret government facility to the international hip hop star losing his sanity while being ripp...

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Russian Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear Stuffies Are A Christmas Must-Have!

Funny story: Russian Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear Stuffies Are A Christmas Must-Have!

Burlington, VT - Vermont's Build-A-Bear Workshop hasn't had a Christmas season this profitable in a long, long time. And it's all thanks to their two Russian hacking bears! Yes, it seems that America (mostly republicans) has gone completely wild f...

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Trump Issues Warning to Santa Claus

Funny story: Trump Issues Warning to Santa Claus

Trump Tower, New York, NY President-elect Donald Trump issued a stern warning to Santa Claus in some late-night tweets early this morning. "Just who IS this guy that everyone just lets into their homes every year? I never saw him! And don't give m...

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Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

Funny story: Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

President Elect Donald Trump took a break from tweeting insults to finish his Christmas wish list. According to an unnamed White House source Mr. Trump's top item on his Christmas wish list was a giant wall. Supposedly the list began with "Item numb...

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Here are some of the tweets Donald Trump punched into his cell phone that were deleted

Funny story: Here are some of the tweets Donald Trump punched into his cell phone that were deleted

Hollywood, Calif. - Sam Razzmatazz, host of "Hot Celebrities We Both Love & Hate", had an expose' on the eee Channel yesterday that exposed a number of tweets Donald Trump punched into his cell phone that were never sent but instead, went by way...

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Comedian Dennis Miller is the Early Favorite for Alt-Right Entertainer of the Year

Funny story: Comedian Dennis Miller is the Early Favorite for Alt-Right Entertainer of the Year

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina - The presentation of the Alt-Right Entertainer of the Year Award will take place during the same time slot as the Oscars on February 26, said Alt-Right Entertainment Awards Chief Billy Bush of Breitbart News, the sponsor...

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Trump Names Opossum To Replace Bald Eagle As National Bird

Funny story: Trump Names Opossum To Replace Bald Eagle As National Bird

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a speech to loyal Iowa voters who came to hear President-Elect Donald Trump thank them for their vote, he mentioned that in his first 100 days he would replace the sad symbol of the American Bald Eagle as the national bird.

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CIA Says Trump Was In On Russian Election Interference

Funny story: CIA Says Trump Was In On Russian Election Interference

How the political weather changes: Weeks ago Republicans were all abuzz over talk of impeaching Hillary Clinton when she takes office. Now with the CIA and FBI revelations that the Trump campaign was in on the pre-election Russian hacks of the DNC, t...

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Trump Falls for Fake News Story with Horrible Result

Funny story: Trump Falls for Fake News Story with Horrible Result

As background to this story, Donald Trump spoke with President Dutere two days ago and reportedly praised him on his extrajudicial killings of thousands. Too, within that time period Mr. Trump appeared to accept an invitation from Prime Minister Naw...

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Jon Stewart Must Come Out Of Retirement

Funny story: Jon Stewart Must Come Out Of Retirement

President-elect Donald J. Trump plans to name the former Texas governor Rick Perry as his secretary of energy. As this observer suggested in another column, the only people to properly understand Mr. Trump's picks for his cabinet and other positio...

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Trump Surrogate Says She Should Be Executed

Funny story: Trump Surrogate Says She Should Be Executed

Scottie Nell Hughes, a Trump surrogate, in an interview with Esquire magazine, spelled out the Trump campaigns strategy. Hughes illustrated a defining principle of Trumpism: There's no longer such thing as fact, because anything is true if enough pe...

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Pitt and Jolie to Become ABC's First Celebrity Bachelor/Bachelorette

Funny story: Pitt and Jolie to Become ABC's First Celebrity Bachelor/Bachelorette

Hollywood, CA - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have agreed to become the first "celebrity" bachelor and bachelorette on the aging television series of the same name, which will feature only divorced celebrities vying to fall in love with the famous cou...

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A Message For All Those Who Voted For Donald Trump

A Message For Trump's Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal death rattle is intended for those who brought him to power, to those who so loyally follow a...

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San Francisco to tackle the poop crunch with high-tech public potties

Funny story: San Francisco to tackle the poop crunch with high-tech public potties

San Francisco City Hall - San Francisco Mayor Turdwin Spree announced to a small assemblage of reporters this afternoon that the sound of crunching poop underfoot on the sidewalks of the city are soon to be a thing of the past. As he was speaki...

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Saudi's threaten to hack BOJO's hand off!

Funny story: Saudi's threaten to hack BOJO's hand off!

Saudi Arabia and Iran seem to have reacted quite insulted because BOJO has charged into their airspace like a bull in a China Shop; what's new? After lying and cheating to the British public over Brexit, he was then appointed Foreign Minister by M...

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Santa Struggles To Deliver Enough Coal To Trump Towers On Christmas Eve

Funny story: Santa Struggles To Deliver Enough Coal To Trump Towers On Christmas Eve

An inside source in Santa's workshop, namely Mrs. Claus, has revealed that Jolly Saint Nick will have the unenviable task of delivering tons of coal to Trump Towers this Christmas. Mrs. Claus, or Karma as she like to be called, talked to this repo...

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Ellen's Shocking Micro-aggressions

Funny story: Ellen's Shocking Micro-aggressions

Admitting that she lied about using some of the products she shills, Ellen DeGeneres gave a tearful apology to her fans for misleading them. That would be the end of it, if not for researcher Dr. Jett Marquin. Marquin analyzed Ellen's apology fram...

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Trump Will Start New Reality Show Based on Hiring and Firing Cabinet Members

Funny story: Trump Will Start New Reality Show Based on Hiring and Firing Cabinet Members

Hollywood, CA President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will have a new reality show starting in January. "I will be the only sitting President of the United States to ever have a major television show while serving as President. My sho...

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Trump Will Provide Classes at New Trump University for New Cabinet Members to Learn about Their Posts

Funny story: Trump Will Provide Classes at New Trump University for New Cabinet Members to Learn about Their Posts

Washington, DC President-Elect Donald Trump graciously offered "deep-pocket discounts" to all his new Cabinet members to take classes at his New Trump University in order to learn about their new Cabinet posts. "I found it very beneficial" said new Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke. "I learned a lot. Who knew the Interior Department would have anything to do with trees and things like that? I alway...

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PM Theresa May's leatherette thighs cause public scandal!

Funny story: PM Theresa May's leatherette thighs cause public scandal!

If she hadn't enough to worry about; Brexit, Bojo, Britain going down the pot, meeting Trump and Putin, plus confronting the real "Iron Lady" Angie Merkel, no! Theresa May has been interviewed by The Times flashing a pair of leatherette thighs that c...

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Giant Pussy  Drop...Trump Tower...New Years Eve!

In breaking news, the New York Times is reporting this morning that President-elect Donald Trump has scheduled a Giant Pussy Drop on New Years Eve at the Trump Towers.  The Times quoting the words of Attorney Joseph Welsh in the Army/McCarthy hearing...

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Rats Overrun Trump Tower

Funny story: Rats Overrun Trump Tower

Mirroring the Trump presidency, the population of rats at Trump Tower has exploded in recent weeks after the unusually warm weather this winter. One tenant spoke to this reporter anonymously as she feared retaliation from Donald Trump and his army...

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Jimmy Savile Fan Club Ends as Last Member's Membership Lapses

Funny story: Jimmy Savile Fan Club Ends as Last Member's Membership Lapses

London, England The Jimmy Savile Fan Club, which once boasted thousands of members, including celebrities such as Penn State football coach Jerry Ferguson, former New York Giants player Lawrence Taylor, Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle, Woody Allen,...

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It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Trumpland

Funny story: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Trumpland

For the Pussygrabber-in-Chief It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpland Ev'rywhere you go; Take a look at the store front doors, with swastikas now adorned And Alt-right sites and Nazis now aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpland Muslims now look out! 'Cause the scariest sight to see is the threatened registry By this orange-haired loudmouth lout. A pair of jack-booted...

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Donald Trump's pet rhinocerous, Tiny, comments on his master's abusive ways

Funny story: Donald Trump's pet rhinocerous, Tiny, comments on his master's abusive ways

NEW YORK, N.Y. - Although it's a hidden fact, the basement of Trump Tower in New York City is reserved for Donald Trump's pet rhinoceros, Tiny, who told this The Spoof writer of emotional, physical, and even sexual abuse he has suffered at the hands...

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Trump Gets Daily Intelligence Briefings From Putin

Funny story: Trump Gets Daily Intelligence Briefings From Putin

Donald Trump said today that reason for his not getting daily briefs from the U.S. intelligence community that he was getting the briefings from the Russian espionage agency SVR (Foreign Intelligence Service). Trump said that he looked forward to...

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Trump Claims Taiwan President Hit On Him, Called Him "President Erect"

Funny story: Trump Claims Taiwan President Hit On Him, Called Him "President Erect"

Further fraying the US's fragile diplomacy with China, President elect Donald Trump is now claiming that the President of Taiwan, Tsai Ing-wen, was coming on to him while they spoke during a congratulatory phone call. Tweeting at 2am Trump said, "...

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Trump Is Putin's Useful Idiot

Funny story: Trump Is Putin's Useful Idiot

The movie "The Manchurian Candidate," concerns a communist plot to use the brainwashed son of a leading right-wing family to upend the American political system. Now it appears that life is imitating art. Donald Trump has been brainwashed by Vladi...

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Worried about Syrian Refugees? Launch Them Into the Sun

A recently conducted Gilmour poll showed that an overwhelming 69% of Americans are concerned about the Syrian refugee crisis affecting the United States. In response, scientists have proposed a solution to launch refugees into the sun. For a small...

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Gay couple force Trump daughter off commercial flight!

Funny story: Gay couple force Trump daughter off commercial flight!

"What's that Bi+ch doing on this plane and why is she in the economy area?!" An angry passenger travelling on the same Jet Blue Airline flight from NY to Florida screamed at stewardesses demanding that Ivanka Trump and her family be ejected or put in...

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Drug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo

Funny story: Drug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo

Everytown, U.S.A - Coke heads, crack heads, pill freaks and heroin junkies have all banded together in support of freeing their beloved El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord, from prison, by opening a Kick-Starter page. "Our goal is to raise enough mone...

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Trump to Build 90-Mile Bridge to Cuba

Funny story: Trump to Build 90-Mile Bridge to Cuba

Key West, Fl - Donald Trump announced today from Trump Tower that he has reached agreement with Russian President Vladimir Putin to build a 90-mile bridge from Key West to Cuba to be named the Castro-Kennedy Bridge. The bridge is expected to be comp...

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Carrot Top First Headliner Signed To Trump Inauguration.

Funny story: Carrot Top First Headliner Signed To Trump Inauguration.

Speaking to this reporter in Las Vegas, Scott Thompson, AKA Carrot Top, deflected criticism of his acceptance to headline Trump's inaugural ball. We met in his dressing room after one of his acclaimed standup comedy routines in Las Vegas, and he h...

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Trump Falls through Cracked Floor in Oval Office

Funny story: Trump Falls through Cracked Floor in Oval Office

Washington, DC - While checking in at the White House, Donald Trump fell through a major crack in the Oval Office floor, getting his nose horribly out of joint after being trapped for over two hours. Trump was unable to reach anybody for help by...

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13 Things Never to Say in a Masonic Lodge

Funny story: 13 Things Never to Say in a Masonic Lodge

1. I'm signing nothing! 2. George Brown, George W. Bush and his dad as well as Henry Kissinger, Barack Obama and J.K. Rowling are all tools, all phonies. 3. Hiram Abiff is an idiotic myth and you should all grow up. 4. Your controllers of the 'upper degrees' are laughing their asses off at the gullibles clinging to the lower rungs. Right? 5. Money is not God. 6. Sex is of no real importance...

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Trump To Personally Operate Drone Attacks

Funny story: Trump To Personally Operate Drone Attacks

During the campaign Donald Trump said he was going to "bomb the sh*t out of ISIS. Today he revealed that He would personally select targets for lethal strikes in places like Yemen, Iraq, and Syria. He said he will cut down on his tweets and spen...

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Americans Admit They're Tired of Democracy

Funny story: Americans Admit They're Tired of Democracy

It's just gotten old. All this negotiating of different positions, compromise, civil discourse, trying to find the common good is tiresome. We're done with it. Heck we stopped talking to our neighbors, coworkers and relatives we disagree with years ago. No one likes to be called names. And it seems harder and harder to find any truths or values we can agree on anymore. Better just to ha...

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Hillary Wins All Electoral Votes Due to Recount Based on IQ

Funny story: Hillary Wins All Electoral Votes Due to Recount Based on IQ

In a stunning development Hillary Clinton has won 100% of the Electoral College votes. Not since George Washington's first two terms has any president won in this fashion. It all started when Hillary tweeted Donald, "I may have lost but my voters a...

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Twenty ways you can tell if your man is going "Gropensteinian"

Funny story: Twenty ways you can tell if your man is going "Gropensteinian"

So neither you nor your significant other voted. You were going to, but just didn't have the time. After working all day, getting your nails done after work, then after a tough workout at the gym, you were just too exhausted to go to the voti...

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Democrat's Last Hope: Trump Exorcism

Funny story: Democrat's Last Hope: Trump Exorcism

As a last desperate attempt to thwart a Trump presidency, Democrat's have enlisted the help of New Mexico's Republican Governor Susanna Martinez. Vice President Joe Biden was in Santa Fe over the holidays and took time specifically to talk to Gov...

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The Queen has a cold.

Funny story: The Queen has a cold.

The News. December 21st 2016. The Queen, 90, has a cold and her Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Prince Philip, 95, has a cold and his Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Doris Hodgkins, 91, has a cold and will...

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Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here!

Funny story: Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here!

Suddenly fake news stories are the In thing and do we have 'em here for you! Get in on the latest fad and power trip going- fake news stories! Amaze your friends! Harass your enemies! Embarrass your mom! We have them for you here in all shapes and sizes. And all political, ethnic, social and gender variations. Need a story to make Trump look like a hero- got 'em right here for ya! Need a tale...

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Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

Funny story: Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

North Pole, Arctic - Rudolph is not apologizing for his recent weekend Twitter rampage, stating that he will not be forced to drop presents off in Aleppo, Syria. Sighting claims that it is far too dangerous to go anywhere near the bombed-out city...

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Trump Does Everything He Accused Rivals Of Doing

Funny story: Trump Does Everything He Accused Rivals Of Doing

After an acrimonious presidential campaign where Donald Trump hurled all sorts of accusations at his rivals, Trump is now doing the very things he's accused others of doing. If there's any doubt let's look at what Trump said during the campaign co...

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Electors elect George Soros President, Henry Kissinger Vice President

Funny story: Electors elect George Soros President, Henry Kissinger Vice President

USA - Exit polls conducted by MSNBC Monday determined that Trump will not become President after all. Ms. Aroma Pour, veteran reporter with MSNBC, interviewed a Mr. Trey Tour, one of the exiting Electors. According to Tour, the CIA visited the E...

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Oprah Building Backup Government

Funny story: Oprah Building Backup Government

The 2016 presidential election outcome shocked Oprah Winfrey as it shocked many others. However, after Trump announced his cabinet appointments, Oprah got busy. Oprah began creating a "spare" U.S. government on the off-chance the incoming adminis...

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Charles Manson to play at Trump Inauguration

Funny story: Charles Manson to play at Trump Inauguration

Depraved mass murderer, musician and Beach Boy song writer, Charles Manson, has agreed to play at the presidential inauguration being held at the White House in Washington DC on January 20th of 2017. The 82 year old Manson will be released from Corc...

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Saving the Mayor's Chestnuts

Funny story: Saving the Mayor's Chestnuts

(To be sung to the tune of The Christmas Song) Indictments waiting in an open file. Horse huggers basking in their grief. Federal probes snooping here, snooping there, Mean that de Blasio will get no relief. You see the mayor has tons of influence to spread. Plus he has to keep the homeless housed and fed. But unlike Bloomberg, who knew how to fly, this mayor seems to be afraid of the...

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Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. With Brexit looming, and maybe having to leave the Netherlands, Tom is prepping himself to live back in Scotland. Before going on holiday the reporter of the world...

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Bernie Sanders Calls Trump a "Turdnado"

Funny story: Bernie Sanders Calls Trump a "Turdnado"

Wearing his new Shit-Storm Jacket™, Bernie Sanders told a group of college students yesterday that Donald Trump is a "Turdnado." Speaking at Depauw University in Indiana, Sanders said liberals and Democrats need to get ready for the fight o...

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Donald Trump Announces Mitt Romney Appointment

Funny story: Donald Trump Announces Mitt Romney Appointment

Much to the relief of Trump's campaign manager, (the Charo lookalike without the Cuchi-Cuchi) Mitt Romney failed to receive the cabinet appointment of Secretary of State, but instead was offered the job as White House pool boy. While some specula...

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Hillary Exposed Masquerading As Department Store Santa

Funny story: Hillary Exposed Masquerading As Department Store Santa

Hillary Clinton hasn't been seen much since her humiliating loss to the Trumpster. Once by an adoring supporter hiking in the woods in Chappaqua, New York, where an endearing selfie was taken. Again, during her Capitol Hill "Fake News is an epidemic...

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Old Aussie golfers never die they just watch snakes devouring wallabies!

Funny story: Old Aussie golfers never die they just watch snakes devouring wallabies!

Ageing Aussie golfers heading towards the eighteenth were caught by surprise as a huge Scrub Python leaped (can they leap?) out of a bush, grabbed a wallaby by the neck and devoured the thing in front of their eyes! Not wishing to interrupt the na...

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In a Parting Gesture of Good Will, President Barack Obama Issues President-elect Donald Trump an Authentic Birther Certificate

Funny story: In a Parting Gesture of Good Will, President Barack Obama Issues President-elect Donald Trump an Authentic Birther Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C.-In a ceremony today at the White House, President Barack Obama issued an authentic Birther Certificate, signed and certified by Chief White House Strategist and Wife Beater Steven Bannon and White Nationalist Richard Spencer. Th...

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Marvin Gaye: "Aint No Wall High Enough"... Trump To Build Moat Instead

Funny story: Marvin Gaye: "Aint No Wall High Enough"... Trump To Build Moat Instead

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a press conference yesterday, Donald Trump was asked once again by George Staphylococcus if he still intended to build a wall between Mexico and the USA. "George, I'm glad you asked that question. As a matter of fact, I hav...

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A Letter To Charles Darwin

Dear Charlie. Or is it Charley? I read your book. Well, sort of. I had one of my people read it, and then summarize it for me, and I listened to that for all of 90 seconds, so I think I get what you were trying to say. But I gotta disagree with some of your conclusions. Well, one of them, anyway. You claim that evaluation makes people smarter, because the stupid ones die before they can...

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Trump to bring ejected Russian spies back to the US

Funny story: Trump to bring ejected Russian spies back to the US

President Obama struck back at Russia yesterday for its efforts to influence the 2016 election, ejecting 35 KGB Russian intelligence operatives from the United States and imposing sanctions on Russia's two leading intelligence services. In respons...

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Chinese insulted by phone call from "President Erect" Trump

Funny story: Chinese insulted by phone call from "President Erect" Trump

The Chinese government have criticised Donald Trump for making a series of nuisance phone calls to Beijing, in which he has made racist comments, bizarre threats and requested help with building a great wall. A spokesman for the Chinese government...

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FAA designates "no fly" airspace above White House...Cuckcoos nest!

FAA designates "no fly" airspace above White House...Cuckcoos's nest! President-elect Donald Trump reportedly was furious when informed yesterday that the FAA (Federal Aviation Authority) was designating the "no fly" airspace above the  White Hous...

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Max Headroom Remembers Dating iphone's Siri In College

Funny story: Max Headroom Remembers Dating iphone's Siri In College

Los Angeles, CA - Max Headroom never imagined that the girl he once dated in college, a nerdy know-it-all named Siri, would go on to become the voice of Apple's iphone. We sat down with the '80's icon, who was dumbfounded by her success. "I j-j-j...

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Real-life plane hijack in Malta to be filmed!

Funny story: Real-life plane hijack in Malta to be filmed!

A real life hijack in Malta is to be filmed because it's cheaper than the one that was actually being filmed! As soon as the film crew realised there was a real hijacking taking place, they fired the actors without pay and purchased the rights to...

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The sound of uh huh uh huh uh huh accompanying themrussians themrussians analysis

Funny story: The sound of uh huh uh huh uh huh accompanying themrussians themrussians analysis

Today electors meet to confirm the winner of the 2016 presidential election--or will they? The latest: Mr. Podesta states Mr. Putin is responsible with his sinister, if not evil, actions to turn Mr. Trump into a "lapdog." Why? Beyond interferen...

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Art of the deal to be renamed fart of the deal

Funny story: Art of the deal to be renamed fart of the deal

Due to the numerous winds swirling around the president-elect, his renowned study of how to succeed in business may get another title. Encouraged by a recent internet meme on this possibility, The Fart of the Deal could become a companion piece to...

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