USA - Exit polls conducted by MSNBC Monday determined that Trump will not become President after all. Ms. Aroma Pour, veteran reporter with MSNBC, interviewed a Mr. Trey Tour, one of the exiting Electors.
According to Tour, the CIA visited the Electors, beat them with lead filled rubber hoses and showed them their guns. Then they told them who to vote for: George Soros and Henry Kissinger. Tour resisted and was water-boarded on a live video feed for all the Electors to see.
Russian spokes-people were reportedly running around saying extreme things, like "darn it."
Nancy Pelosi was reportedly thrilled, and her daughter actually came out of her safe space.
