A Message For All Those Who Voted For Donald Trump

Funny story written by rfreed

Thursday, 1 December 2016

A Message For Trump's Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best

In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal death rattle is intended for those who brought him to power, to those who so loyally follow and support him. I will put aside my normal filtration of speech and mildly PC manner to which I am used to. I begin-

"You stupid f-kheads! Do you have any idea what you have done? By voting for this arrogant bastard from a whore mother you have flushed America down the toilet! Thanks for inflicting your alcohol induced conception of what a President should be on the rest of us!

Do you really believe the bulls-t he spouts? Are you that f-king stupid? He is the greatest con artist since PT Barnum! And the circus he starts will be just as great.

He has convinced half the nation that he is going to make America great again. America already is great. It's just your wormy lives that suck. Not only did he pull the wool over your eyes, he pulled your own scrotum up and over them. Donald Trump is going to make America great for himself and the other 539 billionaires in the U.S. And he will do it off of your bending backs! He has managed to grab the whole country by the p----y. The best part of it is- you will still blame it on Obama!

Do you really believe the phony cr-p he preaches to you? Like about how he is going to make life easier for the working man? This guy, who has never worn a work glove in his life, dug a hole, nailed a wall, planted a field or washed dishes his whole life thinks he knows what life is like for laborers? Horses-t!

This is the man whose most famous motto is "You're fired!"; one of the least favorite words a labor class person ever wants to hear. A man born not only with a silver spoon in his mouth but also a gold potty chair to sit and s--t in. And this is the guy who is going to save you? If you were drowning and he were the life guard he would be too busy hustling the bikinis to throw you a life ring.

Donald is all ego and act; few brains other than those used to make money or grab power- no soul. He told you what you wanted to hear so that he could be top dog and you ate it up like it was s-t on a shingle.

If you didn't have your head up your a---s you would see that he is using you like a tool. He has all the creativity of a brick, the imagination of a worm, the ethics of an ISIS recruit and the brains of a zombie victim. Of course I should go easy on you because you don't understand what creativity, imagination, ethics or brains are to begin with. (I hope whoever is reading this to you at least tries to describe these things to you.....oh why do I bother! At least you probably understand what a brick is....)

By you and the Electoral College voting this maniac in (if the Electoral College had voted Clinton in while Trump had the majority vote he would have been screaming about it) you have just handed the country to the Corporate Club. Although he did run as an independent, who do you think he is going to want as his buddies in running down....oh, I mean running the country? A store clerk? Earl at the gas station? No, he is going to want white, well manicured false faced, flaccid handed members of the Billionaires Club. And they will now own the United States.

So, four years from now when you have no insurance, no job, the banks have the house you paid on for twenty years, the corporates are screwing your daughter because that is the only way she can get food in her stomach, just remember- BLAME IT ON OBAMA!!!!!

- - - - - - - - -

Now back to my normal self- I hope this has successfully illustrated the deepest, innermost feelings I have about this whole campaign season and its unfortunate outcome. A bit vulgar I suppose, but that is in fitting with the subject matter. One cannot work with manure without smelling a bit like it. So, I hope this was somewhat enlightening and informative for you folks.
But probably not- you f------g self-centered s---------ds!

Donald Trump, Obama, Trump supporters, 2016 election, the American oligarchy

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more