Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Written by thomas o'hanlon

Saturday, 10 December 2016

image for Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme
adorning a Holiday them coffee cup

Starbucks unveiled its line of holiday cups today and shocked concerned Christians throughout the world. One odd cup features a portrait of Pontius Pilate. When asked why this was chosen at this particular time of year spokesperson Arnold Pudge said

"We randomly picked an old world leader to kick off our 'Celebration of obscure old world leaders' theme. Mr. Pilate was the 5th prefect of the Roman province of Judea"

When advised of the fact that Pontius Pilate also sentenced Jesus Christ to death by crucifixion, Mr. Pudge said "Oh my! I did not know that!"

Another cup, more festive than that is the snowman cup. "who doesn't love snowmen?" said the spokesperson. It transcends all religions. Wherever it snows someone is building a jolly snowman!"

When alerted to the fact that the snowman on the cup has three sixes for buttons he suggested that people will see what they want "To me they are buttons"

When asked why the snowman was holding a pitchfork he replied "you see a pitchfork, I see a flimsy broom"

When asked why the name Beelzebub was printed above the snowman, Mr. Pudge replied "Beelzebub is a delightful and funny sounding name that make children smile"

When told that Beelzebub is also the name for the Devil he replied "Wait, what? I thought it was a funny name invented by that kooky singer from the rock group Queen.

A third cup, with an obvious portrayal of a red devil with classic horns and tail completely engulfed in flames "advise customers to be careful for the coffee is hot!" suggested the spokesperson.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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