Trump Tower, New York - Our reporter stationed outside the elevator at Trump Tower noticed a strange event Sunday night at around dinner-time. A bag of KFC was brought to the elevator lobby where the Secret Service inspected the chicken, fries and baked beans for aspartame. Strange that Trump, a billionaire, would order fast food, and not the most expensive available?
That's what our reporter thought but then he noticed that the meal was being delivered by the Colonel himself. But our reporter knew that the Colonel was deceased and so accosted the imposter, demanding an explanation whereupon the "Colonel" admitted that he was really Bernie Sanders in disguise going up to accept his appointment as Education Secretary.
Bernie explained, "Trump picked me because he wanted me to make college free for everybody. I had him when I told him Mexico would pay for it."