Written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 1 December 2016

image for Donald Trump Announces Mitt Romney Appointment

Much to the relief of Trump's campaign manager, (the Charo lookalike without the Cuchi-Cuchi) Mitt Romney failed to receive the cabinet appointment of Secretary of State, but instead was offered the job as White House pool boy.

While some speculation persisted among Trump's inner circle, (no food fight there) suggesting that their preference for Secretary of State was: Anybody But Romney, Trump appeared to play a cat and mouse game of maybe I should, but then again, maybe I just won't.

The Romney-Trump conversation was reported to have sounded something like the following:

Ya gotta be kidding me! I've been coming up and down those sticky Trump Towers escalators and fart smelling elevators for the last two weeks, managing the hopeful, executive, confident toothy smile, looking secretarial, and showing you my shoe size, waist size, scale weight, diet, cholesterol count, hair root count and tax returns, which you still haven't produced, because you're still being, 'audited', and I intentionally lost at a game of golf to you, for a lousy job as the White House pool boy?

Trump was described to have nodded critically, "Your, #ANYBODY BUT TRUMP, campaign, just didn't play too well with my team. And I didn't want to leave you out in the cold, so I suggested your name for the pool boy job. Charo was steaming about it and she didn't want you to have that job either, but I put my foot down and came out batting for you. So, how about it, are you still game for a job in the White House? It comes with free lunches on Saturdays and you won't have to do the towels?"

This was followed by a series of expletives that managed to raise Trump's heavy eyebrows. "I am guessing that's a, No?"

Romney then resorted to sound effects and hung up.


Trump reflected that Romney's reply wasn't very diplomatic, for a Secretary of State, and he became rather philosophical: Sometimes you have a choice in life to either take the sunny side up or the scrambled. Both taste just as good.

"But no ketchup."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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