Hillary Exposed Masquerading As Department Store Santa

Funny story written by JennyNorthStar

Monday, 26 December 2016

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Hillary Clinton hasn't been seen much since her humiliating loss to the Trumpster. Once by an adoring supporter hiking in the woods in Chappaqua, New York, where an endearing selfie was taken. Again, during her Capitol Hill "Fake News is an epidemic with real world consequences" speech on December 8. "Fake News"? Ha. Ha. Ha. As if there is such a thing! Certainly never on this site or by Hillary Clinton.

For over a month Clinton supporters have been blaming just about everyone but Hillary for the devastating loss: The Russians, FBI, CIA, deplorables, white supremacists, KKK, Hitler, Fox News, conservative talk radio, WikiLeaks, Huma Abedin, John Podesta, and even Bill Clinton. The list goes on and on, and on. And, of course, people didn't vote for her because she is a woman.

Just before Christmas it was reported that Hillary was seen masquerading as Santa in a downtown New York City department store. Store management got suspicious after there were numerous complaints from parents. Instead of asking children what they wanted for Christmas, it was alleged that "Santa" would interrogate children how their parents voted in the presidential election. If the child replied Trump, "Santa" would say: "You and your family are on my permanent naughty list." "No presents for you...ever!" Children were seen crying inconsolably as they left "Santa's" lap.

Yes, she was caught wearing fake long, silvery hair and a beard. Although after all those campaign buffets and fund raising dinners, her jolly red Santa suit didn't need much padding. Some have speculated that Hillary is too old to make another run for it in 2020 to eventually break the U.S. presidential "Glass Ceiling", that she bagged so much about penetrating. Instead, she has now turned her aspirations on an another male dominated position, as well as myth. Albeit one which only comes around once a year.

After the news story broke, inconsolable Clinton advocates were delighted, drying their tears that Hillary was back and would soon be mounting another worthy cause. This adding some holiday cheer to their already ruined Christmas season.

Contributions have been rolling in to the new "Hillary is Santa™" campaign. Super PACS led by the Feminist Majority Foundation, Feminist Political Action Committee, and lesbian Brisbane LGBTIQ Action Group are spearheading fund raising efforts. A media blitz is being planned for October 2017, right before next year's holidays. Journalists and pundits alike are already preparing stories to discredit the old illusion of a male Santa (chauvinist pig) with a new improved female version. A cottage industry creating Hillary Santa dolls and other holiday memorabilia already underway. What else? Hillary dressed in all red pant suits.

A CNN anchorwoman was almost giddy when reporting the story. She gushed: "Thank God we will have Hillary to talk about again next year." "We all know she has dedicated her life to children, what a marvelous way for her to continue giving it to society." "So inspirational!" She added: "At least that old scrooge Trump won't be ruining next Christmas."

Ho. Ho. Ho. Here we go....

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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