Democrat's Last Hope: Trump Exorcism

Written by XRhonda Speaks

Saturday, 31 December 2016

image for Democrat's Last Hope: Trump Exorcism
Dr. Drew thinks Hillary Clinton is possessed, not Donald Trump. All of them could have a nasty brain parasite (bottom left).

As a last desperate attempt to thwart a Trump presidency, Democrat's have enlisted the help of New Mexico's Republican Governor Susanna Martinez.

Vice President Joe Biden was in Santa Fe over the holidays and took time specifically to talk to Governor Martinez about an idea that has emerged to have an exorcism performed on Donald Trump.

The governor's spokesperson issued a statement saying that she will detail her proposal after talking to both GOP and Democratic lawmakers, saying she wants to be in step with what other GOP lawmakers are doing to address any possible demonic possession of the President elect.

As Governor, Martinez can't really make any national policy, but so far no other nationally prominent republican has publicly supported exorcism, and that's why democrats see her support as critical.

Biden spoke to local reporters after enjoying some green chili enchiladas and a margarita at one of Santa Fe's many fine New Mexican restaurants.

"Well the republicans are in the driver's seat now, but we're trying to make the case that exorcism now could avoid impeachment later if possession is what's making Donald Trump act like he does. And there's no shame in it, possession can happen to the best of families just like in the movie The Exorcist."

Senator Ted Cruz has been mentioned as a possible exorcist: Strangely, even though he is not Catholic, Cruz has been authorized by the Pope to perform exorcisms "and other rites of the Catholic Church." It's also widely believed that few republicans would object to one of their own colleagues performing the ritual on Trump.

Senator Al Franken welcomed the move when he told holiday goers in Minnesota, "Now we'll know if Trump is possessed or just an asshole."

Television's famous Dr. Drew however, dismissed the idea that Donald Trump might be possessed.

"There are no real signs of possession with Trump, Clinton on the other hand... it's been well documented that when you play recordings of Hillary Clinton speaking backwards you can hear old episodes of Friends. What's more demonic than that? This was widely reported by the press [including by the Spoof] but it didn't sink in to the public consciousness because of the sensationalized press coverage of Trump."

True to Dr. Drew's words, some people are now casually playing Hillary's speeches backwards to try to find old episodes of Friends that have been unavailable for streaming on Hulu.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more