Written by Rob Barratt

Friday, 23 December 2016

image for The Queen has a cold.
The Queen

The News. December 21st 2016.

The Queen, 90, has a cold and her Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed.

Prince Philip, 95, has a cold and his Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed.

Doris Hodgkins, 91, has a cold and will miss her visit to the Age UK Christmas dinner in Brierley Hill.

Minnie Wilson, 93, has a cold and will not be able to attend the Pantomime "Babes in the Wood" at the Civic Hall Wolverhampton with her old friend Ron.

Olive Chowdrey, 94, has a cold and will not be able to travel from the Sycamore Grange Retirement Home to be with her family in Croydon.

Wilfred Bennett, 96, has a cold and will not be able to make it to the ex-seamen' s Christmas do in Devonport.

Agnes Tilley, 88, has a cold and will not be able to visit her son, Trevor in Swindon for Christmas.

The News. December 22nd 2016.

The Queen and Prince Philip have been flown to Sandringham in a private helicopter.

Doris Hodgkins has been flown to the Age UK Christmas dinner in Brierley Hill from her home in Netherton in her private helicopter.

Minnie Wilson has been flown to the pantomime "Babes in the Wood" at the Civic Hall in Wolverhampton by the Red Arrows.

Olive Chowdrey has been flown from the Sycamore Grange Retirement Home to be with her family in Croydon in her private re-conditioned Harrier jump-jet.

Wilfred Bennett has made it to the ex-seamen's Christmas do in Devonport in his private nuclear submarine, HMS Remorseless.

Agnes Tilley has travelled to her son Trevor's in Swindon for Christmas in an alien spaceship she commandeered from the Mingons of the Planet Narg.

God save the Queen - from any inconvenience.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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