Trump Is Putin's Useful Idiot

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 31 December 2016

image for Trump Is Putin's Useful Idiot
"I'm in love with Vladie."

The movie "The Manchurian Candidate," concerns a communist plot to use the brainwashed son of a leading right-wing family to upend the American political system. Now it appears that life is imitating art. Donald Trump has been brainwashed by Vladimir Putin. This has been exposed in e-mails hacked by Peter Robin-America's greatest hacker-and released by Wikilinks.

The e-mails are between Vladimir Putin and several Russian oligarchs. One important e-mail written by Putin says, "Trump is полезные дураки," meaning a useful idiot. "Trump has no core, no information, and no self-esteem. All I have to do is flatter him and he likes me so much that he will follow many of my policies. When he's president, I think I can take over Georgia, maybe even get NATO out of Eastern Europe," writes Putin.

Putin, in another e-mail says, "So Boris, I'll do what I can to reconstitute, as much of the former Soviet Union as reasonably possible. Trump should be helpful if I tell him I like the way he does his hair."

In another e-mail to the same Boris, Putin expresses concern that many Democrats and even members of the GOP will see that "Trump is my valuable stooge because he is too effusive in his public praise of me. I've told him so, but he won't shut up about his love for me."

The ruler of Russia writes that Trump cabinet appointments of Mike Flynn and Rex Tillerson, alongside retired General James Mattis as Defense Secretary makes Trump's ensemble a "Fantastic team for us, but it's too obviously pro-Russian. Americans are bound to eventually see that Trump is my moron, my useful idiot."

"I told Trump not to be too blatantly apparent that he adores me, but he won't listen because he's too willful, too stubborn, too self absorbed. Comrade, before he's found out we must move quickly to achieve our national goals," writes Putin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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