Written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 29 December 2016

image for Trump Gets Daily Intelligence Briefings From Putin
"I'VE GOT DONALD WELL IN HAND."

Donald Trump said today that reason for his not getting daily briefs from the U.S. intelligence community that he was getting the briefings from the Russian espionage agency SVR (Foreign Intelligence Service).

Trump said that he looked forward to getting the daily briefings from the SVR and that Vladimir Putin supplemented the reports with comments and "beautiful explanations" in tweets and telephone conversations.

"I completely trust the Russian intelligence agencies because they are under the control of my good friend Vladimir," said President-Elect Trump. Mr. Trump went on to explain that he did not have confidence in the American CIA or other U.S. intelligence agencies because Barak Obama, John Kerry, and "Crooked Hillary" "have corrupted them and made them ugly."

"When I asked the manly Mr. Putin during the campaign to see to it that all of the Hillary Clinton and Democratic Party e-mails would be released he said he would be happy to and he did so. The result was that the election was tilted my way and I won," said Trump. "I owe the world to Mr. Putin," said Candidate-Elect Trump.

"You see Vladie, as I call my comrade, is a man of his word. I have complete faith in him and his intelligence services," Mr Trump concluded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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