CIA Says Trump Was In On Russian Election Interference

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

image for CIA Says Trump Was In On Russian Election Interference
Donald Trump threatened to sue over this photoshopped image because it made his hands look small.

How the political weather changes: Weeks ago Republicans were all abuzz over talk of impeaching Hillary Clinton when she takes office. Now with the CIA and FBI revelations that the Trump campaign was in on the pre-election Russian hacks of the DNC, the talk is about impeaching President elect Trump even before inauguration day.

The news of the collusion between Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump now puts their ongoing bromance in a sinister new light and has caused political shock waves world wide.

CIA analysis of communications between Paul Manafort and Russian contacts close to the Kremlin show that Trump knew of the plan to breach the DNC's email servers weeks before he famously invited Russia to hack Hillary Clinton during one of their three debates.

A mini-revolt has since erupted in the electoral college with at least half a dozen electors saying they will not vote for Donald Trump.

Dunn Runn, who is pledged to vote for Trump for the state of Michigan has received death threats since publicly saying he will not vote for Donald Trump.

"I won't vote for Hillary if that's what people want to know," Runn dicksplained. "A lot of people are suggesting Vladimir Putin but I'm thinking along the lines of Kanye West.

For his part, Kanye West was quietly wooing electoral college members at lavish private parties with cocaine and hookers.

Democratic senators are calling for impeachment hearings the day after Trump is inaugurated, and Senator Chuck Schumer (D-scared bunnies) has called for a full probe into the hacks including, "what did Trump know and when did he know it?"

Mitch "The Bitch" McConnell characterized the calls for impeachment as premature.

"We've never impeached anyone for something they did before they took office, or even decided to impeach before that, it's not done that way."

So is that a flip or a flop on deciding to impeach someone before they even take office?

Trump's spokesman Kellyanne Conway said the call for investigations is just an attempt to weaken her boss, ironic since her boss single-handedly kept the birther conspiracy alive during Obama's presidency.

"The Democrats lost the election and they are trying to de-legitimize this president." Conway cocksplained.

Historian Noam Chomsky explained that the Republicans have more to gain from impeaching Donald Trump than the Democrats.

"Even if they could impeach Trump and remove him from office, they would have a rock solid conservative prick in President Pence, after that it would go to [House] Speaker Ryan. So for the Democrats the best option is to ride it out with president Trump till the 2018 elections and try to get more control in the house and senate."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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