Written by Aspartame Boy

Friday, 30 December 2016

image for Trump shocked to learn he will become world's top drug lord at inauguration
These lads will soon be on the Trump train

Sources close to Trump report he was shocked to learn at a CIA breifing that the world's biggest industry is crack and meth, and it's run by the POTUS.

Trump called his advisors together who advised him he needed to not be a dope and get up to speed. Trump responded by ordering a case of Diet Coke, for the aspartame kick, signing into NetFlicks. He then watched all the consecutive episodes of Breakng Bad.

He cheered loudly as the machine gun took out the competing drug lords.

Then he tweeted:

Forget the wall. We are building a super hiway from Argentina to Alaska. I was just kidding!


Trump to smoke a joint during Inauguration

Sources close to the PEOTUS revealed that Trump will be tipping his wig to the largest industry in America, one that keeps the banks in business here, providing loans for Trump's construction projects.

Trump plans to get a free joint from those handing them out at the Inauguration to save tax funds, in effect making Mexico pay for the joint.



The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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