Trump Does Everything He Accused Rivals Of Doing

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Saturday, 31 December 2016

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Since the 2016 campaign ended, Donald Trump has done everything he has accused his rivals of doing, but way worse.

After an acrimonious presidential campaign where Donald Trump hurled all sorts of accusations at his rivals, Trump is now doing the very things he's accused others of doing.

If there's any doubt let's look at what Trump said during the campaign compared to what he's doing now.

Is Trump is under mind control by the top executives at Goldman Sachs?

During the campaign Trump had this to say about his opponent Ted Cruz: "He's totally under the control of Goldman Sachs, it's going to be hard to tell where a Cruz administration ends and Goldman Sachs begins."

Now: Donald Trump has over fifty people from Goldman Sachs on his staff and in cabinet positions, including Secretary of Fiduciary Douchiness. But wait it gets worse, Goldman Sachs is rumored to have had Donald Trump implanted with a newly developed mind control device to insure he doesn't stray too far from Goldman Sachs' company objectives. Trump's new implant comes along with keepers, supposedly assistants who watch him to make sure the implant takes, usually in three to four months time.

The Trump Body Count

During the campaign, candidate Trump accused the Clintons of having a secret "body count" of their dead enemies.

Actually Trump is the one with a verifiable body count that is known to be in the hundreds when you count the slave laborers in Dubai who have died working in the heat to build another Trump resort--plus the dozens of models who were disappeared in the 1980s when Trump International Talent suspected authorities were closing in on their myriad schemes.

This doesn't even account for the new revelations of undocumented Czech workers who were buried alive in a construction accident at a Trump work site. Relatives of the dead men started asking about their missing loved ones and were told the men had left for other cities to pimp Ukrainian hookers, but after dozens of families were told the same story they became suspicious and were calling on the New York Attorney General to start an investigation, that is until the New York mob helped Donald Trump bury the story for good on the condition that he wouldn't try to go around the unions anymore, which were a lucrative source of money for the Mob.

Donald Trump has only had two press conferences since announcing his candidacy.

Early in the campaign Trump criticized Hillary Clinton for having had few press conferences. Now president elect Trump seems determined to bypass the press and any risk of facing any serious questions. Actually Mr. President elect, it would be good if you could articulate your policy choices, besides just tweeting, "it's going to be great."

Donald Trump continues to gain weight and become more unhealthy.

During the campaign Donald Trump made allusions to Hillary Clinton's weight and health and said she lacked the stamina for the Oval Office. Trump's health however has become delicately Darth Vader-like because he is dependent on a team of doctors, including Michael Jackson's old doctor, just to get him out of bed each morning. Trump suffers from a frightening list of life threatening conditions, including: gonorrhea, diarrhea (of the mouth), and pyrea. Donald Trump also has worms but that isn't a bother because Melania loves to fish.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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