Anti-Environment Politicians Fleeing Earthquake Ravaged Oklahoma in Droves

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Thursday, 8 December 2016

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Earthquake Damage in Oklahoma

Oklahoma City - An eastbound exodus involving a large number of current and former politicians, lobbyists and oil industry executives currently trapped in the state of Oklahoma is underway. The formation of the Trump Administration has attracted many who have expressed a desire to flee the new earthquake capital of the U.S., also suffering from years of drought, for safer areas in and around Washington D.C.

Oklahoma Senators and climate science deniers James Imhofe (who once produced a snowball on the floor of the U.S. Senate to disprove global warming) and James Lankford welcomed some of the latest and prospective migrants, including the new EPA Administrator, Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt. "Its a lot safer here in Washington than Oklahoma City, and the ground is definitely more stable", explained Imhoff. "I'm looking for a nice neighborhood in a quiet area with no shaking and getting plenty of rain", replied Pruitt.

Harold Hamm, an oil industry executive who once pressured Oklahoma University to stop investigating the link between fracking and earthquakes, is also seeking a position on the Trump team, as are Governor Mary Fallin (who once asked Oklahoma voters to defeat the drought by "praying for rain"), former Senator Tom Coburn, and former Oklahoma Speaker of the House T.W. Shannon.

Environment-unfriendly politicians from Texas that are trying to flee the area and head east for Trump positions include former Governor Rick Perry and Senator Ted Cruz. "Those damned earthquakes up north of us are getting a little too close to home", explained Perry.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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