Barbie Dolls Compulsory in Kindergartens?

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Monday, 12 December 2016


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The Barbie Goal

The New World Order Gender Bender Committee that meets once a year at Coventry's Masonic Hall London, England, has decreed that Barbie Dolls be made compulsory in Kindergartens. Barbie dolls will be distributed to male children as well as females and they will be encouraged to fix hair and apply makeup.

Catholic Archbishop Grabbit Arsen said that it was a great idea as...

"The more gender confused young men out there the healthier our recruitment drive. Sexual ignorance has always been our main weapon... so this is a fitting corollary. If nuns and monks knew anything at all about sex before the age of nineteen would there be any convents or monasteries at all?... we must ask ourselves."

Fashion guru Karl Krotchfelt who has been studiously blurring the gender lines for years said:
"This is a boon to the fashion industry of the future. We don't really want females as females in general don't want themselves. What we want are males we think are females. Two for the price of one. That makes sound economic sense to us and I am sure any hooker on the planet would agree with us."

Disturbingly, is the fact that the chosen Barbie is called Jackie and, unlike the original, her legs are welded together making the doll resemble a phallus.

Parents Action Committee chairwoman, Elana McMurphy of London had this to say:

"The fuckwits who have conceived this should have Jackie shoved up their arses but then they would likely enjoy that. If any son of mine comes home to me and says he wants a Jackie for Christmas when I expect him to ask for a calculator, I will give him the thrashing of his life and if he is not angry when I am finished and has not duped onto his idiocy... I will give him another thrashing. Families are not built by powder poofs and never can be. And if there is a genuine happy "Gay" so-called out there, I have yet to meet with one, and I have been dealing with drug addicts and Aids victims for most of my life."

It is unlikely if Elana's will be taken into account in the forthcoming legislation.

Based on a true story:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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