BILLINGSGATE POST: In a press conference yesterday, Donald Trump was asked once again by George Staphylococcus if he still intended to build a wall between Mexico and the USA.
"George, I'm glad you asked that question. As a matter of fact, I have changed my mind."
"That's big news, Mr. Trump. Can you explain what made you rethink building the wall?"
"George, I was listening to an old Marvin Gaye favorite of mine the other night, and the lyrics just hit me:
"Oh baby there aint no wall high enough
Aint no valley low enough,
Aint no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you babe."
"George, I took it as a message from God to build a moat instead."
"George, Marvin Gaye said that walls, valleys and rivers couldn't keep them out. No where did he say anything about moats.
Actually it makes a lot of sense. We could start the moat at Brownsville, Texas, letting the Gulf of Mexico flow down through Texas until it picks up the Rio Grande, then continuing it through Arizona, finally dumping into the Pacific Ocean at San Diego.
The beauty of this idea is that I can staff the moat with the f..king alligators that have overrun my Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach. There are thousands of those hungry bastards that I can deputize using my Executive Power. They are ready, willing and able to do a job that Americans wont."
"Mr. President-Elect, don't you think that the image of alligators eating women and children attempting to cross the moat will turn the world against you?"
It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.'