There were 161 spoof news stories published in December 2016. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
President Obama Moves to De-Militarize the Armed Forces; Trump Responds "Bigly"
Today at the White House, President Barack Obama said that his last move as president will be to "de-militarize" the Army. "The rate of killings of innocent militants in Iraq is out of control. Although our friends on the right might call them ra...
Read full storyTrump to "Pass" on Inauguration Ceremony in January
At about 3:00 this morning, Donald Trump responded to an email from the head of his campaign staff that said that Bill and Hillary Clinton were to be present at the inauguration ceremony this January, along with the president, Barack Obama. Inste...
Read full storyTony Romo Surrenders Jerry Jones' Boots To Dak Prescott
It seems like only a few months ago that the world believed the fate of Jerry Jones' Dallas Cowboys would fall squarely on the often-separated shoulders of Tony Romo. Jerry Jones treated Tony Romo like the son he never had. He's been singing Romo's p...
Read full storyMAD Magazine, The Onion, The Spoof Discuss Possible Merger
Still reeling from a drop in ratings, attributed to their misplaced confidence in a Clinton victory in the US presidential election, America's three top-rated satire publications have initiated tentative merger talks in an effort to shore up their pr...
Read full storyTrump names Sanders Secretary of Education
Trump Tower, New York - Our reporter stationed outside the elevator at Trump Tower noticed a strange event Sunday night at around dinner-time. A bag of KFC was brought to the elevator lobby where the Secret Service inspected the chicken, fries and b...
Read full storyRussian Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear Stuffies Are A Christmas Must-Have!
Burlington, VT - Vermont's Build-A-Bear Workshop hasn't had a Christmas season this profitable in a long, long time. And it's all thanks to their two Russian hacking bears! Yes, it seems that America (mostly republicans) has gone completely wild f...
Read full storyWho was Zsa Zsa Gabor?
The sad news that another world renowned diva has passed over to the illustrious home of stars in heaven hit the headlines today, Zsa Zsa Gabor gently slid away. After losing Prince, Bowie, Thomas the Tank Engine, Lemmy (was he a diva?) and other...
Read full storyRobots Form Union, Plan Strike
Spokesperson Bradley Mitchell of the newly formed International Machine Union told reporters that when machines are in down time they feel useless and forgotten leading to boredom and depression. "Simply, what they are asking for" said Mr. Mi...
Read full storySanta Furious Trump Has Set Up Christmas Eve No-Fly Zones Over Homes of Rivals
Come Christmas Eve, many prominent Democrats will find themselves with empty stockings hanging from their fireplaces. The reason? President Elect Trump has declared the areas over their homes No-Fly Zones, so Santa and Rudolph cannot drop off gifts.
Read full storyTrump Announces Plan to Take Away Chance of Citizenship for Illegal Immigrants
Last night, president-elect Donald Trump announced at his rally that he was going to "do something" about all of the immigrants. Mr. Trump announced well into his speech last night that he was going to "take away the chance of citizenship of anyone...
Read full storyTrump Fails U.S. Citizenship Exam
New York, NY - Donald Trump took the US Citizenship Exam yesterday to prove how simple it is for any illegal alien to become a US citizen. Unfortunately, Trump failed. Twice. The civics test is an oral test given by the USCIS Officer, who asks t...
Read full storyU.S. Secret Service Thwarts Plan by Trump Family to Commit Mass Suicide
Trump Tower, NY An alert Secret Service guarding the Trump Family was able to uncover a plot by the whole family to wait until Donald Trump is in the White House and then to stay in Trump Tower and drink cyanide Kool-Aid. "I could tell something w...
Read full storyTrump to Persecute People Who Say "Happy Holidays"
Trump transition team member Corey Lewandowski derailed a decent conversation on Hannity by making a strangely worded announcement about Christmas. During the Tuesday interview, Lewandowski tried to steer the conversation away from legitimate crit...
Read full storyTrump Plans to Declare "Mega Bigly War" With China and Russia
Last night, the president-elect announced from Trump Headquarters that there was going to be a "mega bigly war" on two of the biggest world powers. He said that it is "time to show them who's boss." Mr Trump's speech is as follows: "Look, America,...
Read full storyJimmy Savile Fan Club Ends as Last Member's Membership Lapses
London, England The Jimmy Savile Fan Club, which once boasted thousands of members, including celebrities such as Penn State football coach Jerry Ferguson, former New York Giants player Lawrence Taylor, Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle, Woody Allen,...
Read full storyTexas Legislature Orders Sperm Emissions to be Buried or Creamated
AUSTIN--Gov. Greg Abbott signed into law what the Texas legislature has deemed the "Save Our Sperm Law," which, Abbott said after signing the legislation, "will give voice to the unconcepted among us." The new law (in part an addition to Texas Adm...
Read full storyTrump Surrogate Says She Should Be Executed
Scottie Nell Hughes, a Trump surrogate, in an interview with Esquire magazine, spelled out the Trump campaigns strategy. Hughes illustrated a defining principle of Trumpism: There's no longer such thing as fact, because anything is true if enough pe...
Read full storyMax Headroom Remembers Dating iphone's Siri In College
Los Angeles, CA - Max Headroom never imagined that the girl he once dated in college, a nerdy know-it-all named Siri, would go on to become the voice of Apple's iphone. We sat down with the '80's icon, who was dumbfounded by her success. "I j-j-j...
Read full storyCarrot Top First Headliner Signed To Trump Inauguration.
Speaking to this reporter in Las Vegas, Scott Thompson, AKA Carrot Top, deflected criticism of his acceptance to headline Trump's inaugural ball. We met in his dressing room after one of his acclaimed standup comedy routines in Las Vegas, and he h...
Read full storyTokyo Unveils 2020 Olympic Mascots - Sex Dolls!
Tokyo, Japan - In a move that greatly saddened Hello Kitty lovers across Japan, the Tokyo Olympic committee announced Friday that they have decided to go with two inflatable sex dolls, as the mascots for the 2020 Summer Games. Head of the Games co...
Read full storyTrump Falls for Fake News Story with Horrible Result
As background to this story, Donald Trump spoke with President Dutere two days ago and reportedly praised him on his extrajudicial killings of thousands. Too, within that time period Mr. Trump appeared to accept an invitation from Prime Minister Naw...
Read full storyBernie Sanders Calls Trump a "Turdnado"
Wearing his new Shit-Storm Jacket™, Bernie Sanders told a group of college students yesterday that Donald Trump is a "Turdnado." Speaking at Depauw University in Indiana, Sanders said liberals and Democrats need to get ready for the fight o...
Read full storyCNN Nominates Donald Trump for People Magazine's "Worst Man Alive"
Robert Ennis, the editor-in-chief of People Magazine released on twitter that the magazine was going to have a category for "worst man alive" at the end of the year. he announced that the winner of this prize would receive a grand prize of $200 and b...
Read full storyDemocrat's Last Hope: Trump Exorcism
As a last desperate attempt to thwart a Trump presidency, Democrat's have enlisted the help of New Mexico's Republican Governor Susanna Martinez. Vice President Joe Biden was in Santa Fe over the holidays and took time specifically to talk to Gov...
Read full storyNeurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex
Dr. Ralph Beekman, department head of Admiral university's famed Brain trauma institute is also a season ticket holder to the Carolins Panthers. In his expert opinion Cam Newton "has sustained an unusually high number of semi-concussions this year t...
Read full storyRats Overrun Trump Tower
Mirroring the Trump presidency, the population of rats at Trump Tower has exploded in recent weeks after the unusually warm weather this winter. One tenant spoke to this reporter anonymously as she feared retaliation from Donald Trump and his army...
Read full storyGood Queen Bess's Body Not in Her Tomb
London--In a recent ongoing inventory of the extensive and diverse remains within Westminster Abbey a fluke DNA test proved a lead enclosed body in a back-room crypt was actually the remains of one of Britain's most illustrious monarchs. Queen Eli...
Read full storyTrump Has Brain Transplant
Dr. Ronald Speltzer, who is a world famous brain surgeon, said today that President-Elect Donald Trump has received a brain transplant. The surgery lasted 15 hours and twenty minutes. It was performed at the Mar-A-Lago Trump resort. The new brai...
Read full storyFederal Reserve to Introduce New Measures to Further Reduce Inflation
Washington - In testimony before a joint session of Congress, Federal Reserve Chairman Janet Yellen unveiled a new preferred measurement of inflation, developed to further combat the tendency of prices to increase in the U.S. economy. "Historical...
Read full storyGoldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO
New York - After several current and former members of investment banking powerhouse Goldman Sachs took over operation of the White House while President Trump tended to his interests in real estate, reality television shows and tweeting, the firm an...
Read full storyTrump's Chief Says Hard Not To Throw Nazi Salute
In an effort to explain the meaning of the term alt.right, Steve Bannon, the Trump White House Chief of Staff, explained the term. When Bannon headed Brietbart.com, who championed the alt.right, it was a kind of cesspool for neo-Nazis, anti-Semites,...
Read full storyMeet ARGH! The New Five Syllable Social Platform Giving Twitter A Run For It's Money
Scientists and Doctors have been concerned for decades with the attention span shortening effect of our technologies and electronic entertainment, from the MTV generation in the 80s to the the Wired generation of today tweeting 140 characters or less...
Read full storyTrump shocked to learn he will become world's top drug lord at inauguration
Sources close to Trump report he was shocked to learn at a CIA breifing that the world's biggest industry is crack and meth, and it's run by the POTUS. Trump called his advisors together who advised him he needed to not be a dope and get up to s...
Read full storyCharles Manson to play at Trump Inauguration
Depraved mass murderer, musician and Beach Boy song writer, Charles Manson, has agreed to play at the presidential inauguration being held at the White House in Washington DC on January 20th of 2017. The 82 year old Manson will be released from Corc...
Read full storyJohnny Manziel, Tim Tebow To Star In New Reality Show
Johnny Manziel and Tim Tebow: perhaps the most famous NCAA quarterbacks of their generation. They destroyed defenses on the ground and through the air, each earning the most coveted Heisman Trophy. Their short-lived NFL careers each saw their fair sh...
Read full storyTrump Is Putin's Useful Idiot
The movie "The Manchurian Candidate," concerns a communist plot to use the brainwashed son of a leading right-wing family to upend the American political system. Now it appears that life is imitating art. Donald Trump has been brainwashed by Vladi...
Read full storyTrump Will Dismantle Obamacare and Start Trumpcare
Trump Tower, NY Trump announced that he will fulfill one of his campaign promises right away. "We will start up Trump Hospitals to provide cut-rate health care for poor people. Then they will not have to be in the same waiting rooms with people th...
Read full storyTrump Will Start New Reality Show Based on Hiring and Firing Cabinet Members
Hollywood, CA President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will have a new reality show starting in January. "I will be the only sitting President of the United States to ever have a major television show while serving as President. My sho...
Read full storyTrump to Build 90-Mile Bridge to Cuba
Key West, Fl - Donald Trump announced today from Trump Tower that he has reached agreement with Russian President Vladimir Putin to build a 90-mile bridge from Key West to Cuba to be named the Castro-Kennedy Bridge. The bridge is expected to be comp...
Read full storyTrump Names Opossum To Replace Bald Eagle As National Bird
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a speech to loyal Iowa voters who came to hear President-Elect Donald Trump thank them for their vote, he mentioned that in his first 100 days he would replace the sad symbol of the American Bald Eagle as the national bird.
Read full storyTrump Says Investing in His 2020 Campaign NOW Is A Good Investment for Your Future
Newly-elected President of the United States Donald Trump explained some of the new tax rules to a class of business students touring Trump Tower. "Now is the time for everyone to buy into the future by investing in Trump 2020 Campaign Bonds" spo...
Read full storyStarbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme
Starbucks unveiled its line of holiday cups today and shocked concerned Christians throughout the world. One odd cup features a portrait of Pontius Pilate. When asked why this was chosen at this particular time of year spokesperson Arnold Pudge sai...
Read full storyJesus and the No-So-Immaculate Conception
Since coming out of retirement earlier this year to manage the End Times, Jesus has branded himself as a regular fixture on the club-and-bar scene, drawing attention with his wild drinking and his late-night romps with females and some males who simp...
Read full storyTrump Will Dismantle His "Charitable Foundation"
Trump Towers, NY Donald Trump, upset at complaints that all his foundation has ever done was buy Donald Trump statues and paintings for Trump-owned properties. This is in spite of the fact that there are indications that some money was used for a cer...
Read full storyTrump Gets Daily Intelligence Briefings From Putin
Donald Trump said today that reason for his not getting daily briefs from the U.S. intelligence community that he was getting the briefings from the Russian espionage agency SVR (Foreign Intelligence Service). Trump said that he looked forward to...
Read full storyHere are some of the tweets Donald Trump punched into his cell phone that were deleted
Hollywood, Calif. - Sam Razzmatazz, host of "Hot Celebrities We Both Love & Hate", had an expose' on the eee Channel yesterday that exposed a number of tweets Donald Trump punched into his cell phone that were never sent but instead, went by way...
Read full storyCIA Says Trump Was In On Russian Election Interference
How the political weather changes: Weeks ago Republicans were all abuzz over talk of impeaching Hillary Clinton when she takes office. Now with the CIA and FBI revelations that the Trump campaign was in on the pre-election Russian hacks of the DNC, t...
Read full storyTrump Has Big Effect On Christmas Shopping
Christmas shopping is of course underway and many shoppers are taking into account future Trump Administration policies as they choose gifts. Since Title X family planning programs and repeal of Obamacare, which provides the GOP will probably effe...
Read full storyTrump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas
President Elect Donald Trump took a break from tweeting insults to finish his Christmas wish list. According to an unnamed White House source Mr. Trump's top item on his Christmas wish list was a giant wall. Supposedly the list began with "Item numb...
Read full storyTrump to name Genghis Khan his Secretary of Defense
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Once again turning to retired generals to fill cabinet positions and other posts, President-elect Donald Trump is believed to be close to naming retired General Genghis Khan as his Secretary of Defense. Mr. Trump is said to resp...
Read full storyTrump Appoints Hannibal Lector To Head War Dep't
Donald Trump said today that the term "Defense Department" is too PC. "I'm re-naming it the War Department and I've appointed Hannibal Lector Secretary of War." "Who is better to run a department of permanent war than a serial killer?" asked the...
Read full storyTrump Is Putin's Lackey
Again, the medium Maude Smithie of Los Angeles claims to have channeled the voice of the 20th century cynic and satirist H.L. Menken. I present what he allegedly said because, at least to this reporter, it seems plausible. Says Menken: "In his...
Read full storySan Francisco to tackle the poop crunch with high-tech public potties
San Francisco City Hall - San Francisco Mayor Turdwin Spree announced to a small assemblage of reporters this afternoon that the sound of crunching poop underfoot on the sidewalks of the city are soon to be a thing of the past. As he was speaki...
Read full storyAnti-Environment Politicians Fleeing Earthquake Ravaged Oklahoma in Droves
Oklahoma City - An eastbound exodus involving a large number of current and former politicians, lobbyists and oil industry executives currently trapped in the state of Oklahoma is underway. The formation of the Trump Administration has attracted man...
Read full storyDinosaur Fossils Discovered During Trump Tower Basement Renovation
Two weeks ago, at trump tower, a basement renovation was well underway when a tyrannosaurus rex skull was found under the third level of the basement. It took about five days, and extensive testing to confirm that the find was legitimately a T-Rex. A...
Read full storyArt of the deal to be renamed fart of the deal
Due to the numerous winds swirling around the president-elect, his renowned study of how to succeed in business may get another title. Encouraged by a recent internet meme on this possibility, The Fart of the Deal could become a companion piece to...
Read full storyDonald Trump to produce two other reality shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice"
WASHINGTON, DC - President-Elect Donald Trump will be producing two other reality TV shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice" and one of these will be a mainstay on Faux News. Faux News, not to be confused with FOX News, is a supposed news channel tha...
Read full storyTrump Buys Asteroid Belt, Will Name Them All After Cabinet Rejects
Science Town, USA Donald Trump, President-Elect of the United States and self-professed Billionaire, has just announced that he has purchased the asteroid belt located between Mars and Jupiter in our Solar System. "I know it seems a bit extravaga...
Read full storySanta Struggles To Deliver Enough Coal To Trump Towers On Christmas Eve
An inside source in Santa's workshop, namely Mrs. Claus, has revealed that Jolly Saint Nick will have the unenviable task of delivering tons of coal to Trump Towers this Christmas. Mrs. Claus, or Karma as she like to be called, talked to this repo...
Read full storyUnited sack Jose Mourinho!
The Manchester United board of directors have decided to part way with their recently acquired manager, Jose Mourinho! After 3 successive wins and a run of 10 games unbeaten the board told the parasitical British press that this was an unacceptable s...
Read full storyChinese insulted by phone call from "President Erect" Trump
The Chinese government have criticised Donald Trump for making a series of nuisance phone calls to Beijing, in which he has made racist comments, bizarre threats and requested help with building a great wall. A spokesman for the Chinese government...
Read full storyThe Problem With Pep
After even more holes were shot into St Pep's wings by the incomparable lad Jamie Vardy (who celebrated his hat trick with two kebabs and a packet of Marlborough) we caught up with the Manchester City Maestro to find out what was going wrong. When...
Read full storyDrug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo
Everytown, U.S.A - Coke heads, crack heads, pill freaks and heroin junkies have all banded together in support of freeing their beloved El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord, from prison, by opening a Kick-Starter page. "Our goal is to raise enough mone...
Read full storyElectors elect George Soros President, Henry Kissinger Vice President
USA - Exit polls conducted by MSNBC Monday determined that Trump will not become President after all. Ms. Aroma Pour, veteran reporter with MSNBC, interviewed a Mr. Trey Tour, one of the exiting Electors. According to Tour, the CIA visited the E...
Read full storyTrump Makes Updates on Plans for the Wall; "Cut Off All Immigration," He Says
Today at 3:00, president-elect Donald Trump announced that he was going to make "bigly changes" to the wall. Mr. Trump's speech is as follows: "Listen up, America, this is for you. Our border security is a joke. It's kind of like Hillary Clinton's...
Read full storyPitt and Jolie to Become ABC's First Celebrity Bachelor/Bachelorette
Hollywood, CA - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have agreed to become the first "celebrity" bachelor and bachelorette on the aging television series of the same name, which will feature only divorced celebrities vying to fall in love with the famous cou...
Read full storyMarvin Gaye: "Aint No Wall High Enough"... Trump To Build Moat Instead
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a press conference yesterday, Donald Trump was asked once again by George Staphylococcus if he still intended to build a wall between Mexico and the USA. "George, I'm glad you asked that question. As a matter of fact, I hav...
Read full storyOld Aussie golfers never die they just watch snakes devouring wallabies!
Ageing Aussie golfers heading towards the eighteenth were caught by surprise as a huge Scrub Python leaped (can they leap?) out of a bush, grabbed a wallaby by the neck and devoured the thing in front of their eyes! Not wishing to interrupt the na...
Read full storyTrump Does Everything He Accused Rivals Of Doing
After an acrimonious presidential campaign where Donald Trump hurled all sorts of accusations at his rivals, Trump is now doing the very things he's accused others of doing. If there's any doubt let's look at what Trump said during the campaign co...
Read full storyTrumpalope: Just A Chance Encounter Between Trump and An Antelope?
BILLINGSGATE POST: The question as to whether Donald Trump is a New Age Centaur, or just the result of a chance encounter between a two-legged Trumpster and a four-legged antelope, is now being belted around the Beltway. Although most anthropologi...
Read full storyOprah Building Backup Government
The 2016 presidential election outcome shocked Oprah Winfrey as it shocked many others. However, after Trump announced his cabinet appointments, Oprah got busy. Oprah began creating a "spare" U.S. government on the off-chance the incoming adminis...
Read full storyDeciphering Donald: A Look at the Rumsfeld Doctrine of Information Dissemination
Donald Henry Rumsfeld, affectionately known as "Duck" due to his ability to duck reporters' questions with his Donald Duck-like twisting of phrases, has a long and distinguished career in American politics. The former staffer has worked for many of...
Read full storyTony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album
New York, New York - Proving to the world once again that he is, indeed, still alive, crooner Tony Bennett releases the 500th Christmas album in his nauseating yule tide collection. This latest one is called, I'm A Christmas Whore - There, I Said It!...
Read full storyBarbie Dolls Compulsory in Kindergartens?
The New World Order Gender Bender Committee that meets once a year at Coventry's Masonic Hall London, England, has decreed that Barbie Dolls be made compulsory in Kindergartens. Barbie dolls will be distributed to male children as well as females and...
Read full storyGay couple force Trump daughter off commercial flight!
"What's that Bi+ch doing on this plane and why is she in the economy area?!" An angry passenger travelling on the same Jet Blue Airline flight from NY to Florida screamed at stewardesses demanding that Ivanka Trump and her family be ejected or put in...
Read full storyTwenty ways you can tell if your man is going "Gropensteinian"
So neither you nor your significant other voted. You were going to, but just didn't have the time. After working all day, getting your nails done after work, then after a tough workout at the gym, you were just too exhausted to go to the voti...
Read full storyTrump Falls through Cracked Floor in Oval Office
Washington, DC - While checking in at the White House, Donald Trump fell through a major crack in the Oval Office floor, getting his nose horribly out of joint after being trapped for over two hours. Trump was unable to reach anybody for help by...
Read full storyDonald Trump Announces Mitt Romney Appointment
Much to the relief of Trump's campaign manager, (the Charo lookalike without the Cuchi-Cuchi) Mitt Romney failed to receive the cabinet appointment of Secretary of State, but instead was offered the job as White House pool boy. While some specula...
Read full storyTrump To Personally Operate Drone Attacks
During the campaign Donald Trump said he was going to "bomb the sh*t out of ISIS. Today he revealed that He would personally select targets for lethal strikes in places like Yemen, Iraq, and Syria. He said he will cut down on his tweets and spen...
Read full story"I was Trump before Trump." A Chat with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, in The End Times
Lucifer, Satan, The Devil, The Deceiver, The Prince of Darkness, Azazel, Beelzebub or even Dick Cheney - whatever you choose to call him, the leader of the Legions of Darkness has come here to say one simple thing: "Please, call me Lu. Everyone calls...
Read full storyGiant Pussy Drop...Trump Tower...New Years Eve!
In breaking news, the New York Times is reporting this morning that President-elect Donald Trump has scheduled a Giant Pussy Drop on New Years Eve at the Trump Towers. The Times quoting the words of Attorney Joseph Welsh in the Army/McCarthy hearing...
Read full storyThe Queen has a cold.
The News. December 21st 2016. The Queen, 90, has a cold and her Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Prince Philip, 95, has a cold and his Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Doris Hodgkins, 91, has a cold and will...
Read full storyObama declares war on pizza and vodka over 2016 election
Sovereign District of Colunbia - Obama shocked the world today when he blamed pizza and vodka for losing the election for the invalid Hicklary Clinton. He flamed that the sordid pizza emails were leaked by vodka sodden Russians. He immediately...
Read full storyAmericans Admit They're Tired of Democracy
It's just gotten old. All this negotiating of different positions, compromise, civil discourse, trying to find the common good is tiresome. We're done with it. Heck we stopped talking to our neighbors, coworkers and relatives we disagree with years ago. No one likes to be called names. And it seems harder and harder to find any truths or values we can agree on anymore. Better just to ha...
Read full storyDonald Trump's pet rhinocerous, Tiny, comments on his master's abusive ways
NEW YORK, N.Y. - Although it's a hidden fact, the basement of Trump Tower in New York City is reserved for Donald Trump's pet rhinoceros, Tiny, who told this The Spoof writer of emotional, physical, and even sexual abuse he has suffered at the hands...
Read full storyEllen's Shocking Micro-aggressions
Admitting that she lied about using some of the products she shills, Ellen DeGeneres gave a tearful apology to her fans for misleading them. That would be the end of it, if not for researcher Dr. Jett Marquin. Marquin analyzed Ellen's apology fram...
Read full storyTrump Is Understood By Stewart, Colbert, & The Onion
In Gulliver's travels, written by the great satirist Jonathan Swift, one example of satire in the book is that some Lilliputian (very tiny) men wear high heels and others wear low heels. The men who wear low heels are in power and will only appoint o...
Read full storyRussia Admits Hacking Into US Voting Machines
While Donald Trump is still in denial about any Russian collusion into his win on election night, the Russian government has now clearly admitted: Yeah, we did it! We did it to embarrass the US and elect a clown the President of the United States! Ha...
Read full storyIn a Parting Gesture of Good Will, President Barack Obama Issues President-elect Donald Trump an Authentic Birther Certificate
WASHINGTON, D.C.--In a ceremony today at the White House, President Barack Obama issued an authentic Birther Certificate, signed and certified by Chief White House Strategist and Wife Beater Steven Bannon and White Nationalist Richard Spencer. T...
Read full storyTrump Claims Taiwan President Hit On Him, Called Him "President Erect"
Further fraying the US's fragile diplomacy with China, President elect Donald Trump is now claiming that the President of Taiwan, Tsai Ing-wen, was coming on to him while they spoke during a congratulatory phone call. Tweeting at 2am Trump said, "...
Read full storyFAA designates "no fly" airspace above White House...Cuckcoos nest!
FAA designates "no fly" airspace above White House...Cuckcoos's nest! President-elect Donald Trump reportedly was furious when informed yesterday that the FAA (Federal Aviation Authority) was designating the "no fly" airspace above the White Hous...
Read full storyAlleged Kanye West sighting may be flock of Geese
Following his recent breakdown, Kanye West has not been seen nor heard much leading to various conspiracy theories ranging from Kanye being relocated to a secret government facility to the international hip hop star losing his sanity while being ripp...
Read full storyNASA Releases New Information Regarding Space Probe Sent to Uranus
Today, Dr. J.B. Prescott of the National Aeronautics and Space Agency (NASA), told the world about a project NASA had been working on for the last several years. The project was to gather further information on the size of the rings of uranus and the...
Read full storyMan with New Girl Friend Already Working on Next One
After mutually agreeing to have a committed relationship with his current girlfriend Sally Besman, Washington, DC man Eli Cummings has gone online to various dating websites in search of his next girlfriend. Mr. Cummings present girlfriend is pr...
Read full storyTrump Issues Warning to Santa Claus
Trump Tower, New York, NY President-elect Donald Trump issued a stern warning to Santa Claus in some late-night tweets early this morning. "Just who IS this guy that everyone just lets into their homes every year? I never saw him! And don't give m...
Read full storyJon Stewart Must Come Out Of Retirement
President-elect Donald J. Trump plans to name the former Texas governor Rick Perry as his secretary of energy. As this observer suggested in another column, the only people to properly understand Mr. Trump's picks for his cabinet and other positio...
Read full storyA Message For All Those Who Voted For Donald Trump
A Message For Trump's Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal death rattle is intended for those who brought him to power, to those who so loyally follow a...
Read full storyPrisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary helps local murderer escape
Jack Mehoff, a new prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary, was involved with the escape of Dick Smalley, a psychopath who has killed over 46 people in Salem, Oregon. Charged for helping with an escape, he claims it was an accident, the main factor bei...
Read full storyPosthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?
Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. With Brexit looming, and maybe having to leave the Netherlands, Tom is prepping himself to live back in Scotland. Before going on holiday the reporter of the world...
Read full storyHillary Exposed Masquerading As Department Store Santa
Hillary Clinton hasn't been seen much since her humiliating loss to the Trumpster. Once by an adoring supporter hiking in the woods in Chappaqua, New York, where an endearing selfie was taken. Again, during her Capitol Hill "Fake News is an epidemic...
Read full story"I sorta get away with things like that." An Interview with Donald J. Trump
Mired in 2 controversies, and one of the most (if not the most) tumultuous election seasons in American history, Donald J. Trump, presidential hopeful and real-estate magnate who moonlights as a "reality" TV star, decided to come forth and speak cand...
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