There were 94 spoof news stories published in October 2015. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Six-Year-Old Drug Mule To Be Executed Despite Plea To Thai King
A seven-year-old drug mule is due to be executed later this evening three months after an Irish drug smuggling cartel was caught smuggling cocaine out of Thailand. The Galway based gang was busted earlier this year in Bangkok after custom's offici...
Read full storyCandid Photos of a Naked Daniel Craig Pumping Iron Leaked On Line
James Bond star Daniel Craig is said to furious after naked photographs of him pumping Iron were leaked onto the internet. The photos, apparently taken with a high powered lens, show the actor sweating while totally nude at his home in Los Angeles.
Read full storyTwitter Birdies May Lose Jobs, Hope for Remake of Movie THE BIRDS
Ever since Twitter announced plans to cut its workforce, the birdies have been all atwitter, wondering if some of them will be losing their jobs. "Hopefully not," said Bill Twitter, Head Bird of the Twitter Birdies labor union. "After all, it is...
Read full storyDNA Test Confirms: Justin Trudeau Actually Mick Jagger's Son
On Thursday morning of this past week, Dr. Maxwell Zilberhammer of the Great White North Health Sciences Laboratory announced the results of a DNA test ordered and paid for by the campaign of recently defeated Canadian Prime Minister Harpo Stevens.
Read full storyFour Girls Injured After Mob Attack At Local Mall
We have also this week, to publish, with feelings of regret and sympathy, the portraits of four young women who were among the victims of mob fury at a Fort Lauderdale Shopping Mall on a fatal Sunday afternoon. All from the Fort Lauderdale area,...
Read full storyPotential Empress denies she was out of touch as Tatooine spiraled out of control
Imperial candidate Higgid Conte defended herself Thursday against accusations she was out of touch as the situation in Tatooine spiraled out of control before the 78901 rebel attack, at a long-awaited Imperial hearing where leading members of the Emp...
Read full storyWho Threw the Overalls in Mr. Murphy's Chowder?
NY Mets player Daniel Murphy has astonished the sports world -- and himself -- with a history-making performance. Home runs in six consecutive post-season games! There's a secret to his success. Keep it under your hat, but SOMEONE has been throwin...
Read full storyProof: Donald Trump is a Malfunctioning Cyborg
Donald Trump is not human. Proof has emerged that the creature known as The Donald actually is a failed experiment by North Korean scientists to develop an army of cyborgs. It all was part of a top secret North Korean plot to infiltra...
Read full storyTaylor Swift & Latest Lover Split Up
Taylor swift has sensationally broken up with herself telling friends and family "That's it, we are done, it is over, we are never, EVER, getting back together!" The break up has come as a surprise for many but for others it seems it is a regular...
Read full storyDonald Trump's Alter Ego Announces his Candidacy for 2024
NEW YORK--Ronald Chump, the alter ego of media-hog Donald Trump, today announced his candidacy for president, saying that he was running for president because all of the other candidates were "low energy" and "losers" and incapable of "making Americ…
Read full storyDetails of Tristan Thompson's Contract Emerge
Since the first day of elegible free agent signing in the NBA, all eyes have been on the Cleveland Cavaliers and their budding star power forward Tristan Thompson. A max offer sheet seemed imminent, however as the days turned to months, Thompson stil...
Read full storyDonut Miracle Converts Thousands to Christianity
Mobile, AL - Well-respected local, Jamie McGinn, woke up on October 17th like it was any other day. Little did she know, her routine Saturday donut run would be far from normal. On her way back into the house from her trip to Dan's Donuts, she trippe...
Read full storyNew Volkswagen model not only cheats, but gets away with it
Wolfsburg, Germany - Roundly criticized for selling cars that cheat on environmental emissions tests, Volkswagen AG is fighting to win its reputation back. The company has introduced a new model that can lie, cheat and scheme without getting ca...
Read full storyExtremist Pinko Professor Vilifies Humanitarian Heroes
Some recent comments about humanitarian heroism have failed to satisfy the ever-impossible-to-please satire news fixture, Pre-Senior-Professor-Guru-Emeritus Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles from the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College. Notable public figure and moderate political Tory-ist William Hague moans: It is just so very, very unfair, how...
Read full storyNC State Fair: Deep fried dog turds dipped in choclate & wrapped in bacon!
The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting today that the biggest attraction on the Food Court on opening day of the fair was: Deep fried dog turds dipped in chocolate and wrapped in bacon! The line stretched around the block as attendees waited to...
Read full storyThrifty shoppers causing supermarket chaos
Thrifty shoppers spurred by the growing economic downturn are finding new ways to save mega bucks at the grocery store checkout; however, some stores claim that the "penny wise" consumers may see an increase in prices should supermarkets be forced to...
Read full storyOktoberfest in Canada
Those motorists who've ever decided to save a few miles and dodge a few highway tolls on the drive between Buffalo NY and Chicago by passing through that large game sanctuary known as "Canada" may have wondered: "What is there to do here besides hunt moose, photograph Mounties, and guzzle buckets of Tim Horny's coffee?" Well, anyone who braves this passage in early October --just before the ent...
Read full storyMan wins woman of the year award
A 38 year old man from Belfast, Northern Ireland has won this year's woman of the year award. Patrick McMahon, who works as a long distance truck driver delivering stationery, is said to be delighted at being this year's recipient. Speaking...
Read full storyDentist Walter Palmer has offered to stick his head in a lion's mouth!
After slaughtering Cecil the lion, and then being declared innocent by Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe's over popular, serial-killing president, Walter Palmer has offered the lions revenge by promising to stick his head in a lion's mouth! He has offered t...
Read full storyOscars To Be Re-named the Patties
In a controversial move announced today the Oscars are to be re-named the Patties. A spokesman from the Oscars committee made the following announcement. "We were told that a statue of a bare-chested bald man holding a sword between his legs was...
Read full storyGood God No! Disney Has Turned The New Star Wars Into A Musical!
Unbeknownst to the press and we Star Wars geeks, Disney has insisted that Director J.J. Abrams make the upcoming seventh installment of the Star Wars mega-franchise a musical, hoping to continue Disney's legacy of hit making song and dance movies suc...
Read full storyJames Madison Addresses the Nation
HEAVEN--James Madison, from his final resting place in heaven, today addressed the nation about the barrage of school shootings afflicting the United States. The text of Madison's speech follows: My fellow Americans, Many of you know me as one of the Founding Fathers and the fourth President of this great nation. Fewer of you are no doubt familiar with the many contributions I made to the...
Read full storyJohn Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (2/2)
How have people received John Kerry's recent nuclear annhilation of The Onion? We'll start off with Hillary Clinton. Now listen here, young man. With all due respect, reporter… which ain't very much, let's be… Ah, HONEST… Erm… Well anyway, why so fastidious? Huh? I mean, you know, maybe Iran are, say, just a few decades ahead of schedule in developing nukes and this is the first...
Read full storyDisabled man sues mountain for discrimination
A disabled man who was unable to climb the Ben Nevis mountain in Scotland was unlawfully discriminated against and deserved an apology, a tribunal has ruled. John Dixon, 43, from Stowmarket, Suffolk was keen to climb the UK's tallest mountain, unt...
Read full storyJihadis Attempt to Blow Up Great Pyramid, Extra-Terrestrials Return Fire!
On Tuesday morning, a ragtag band of Muslim fundamentalists attempted to tunnel under the Great Pyramid of Giza with the intent of planting and detonating a crude thermonuclear device underneath it. They were instantly annihilated by an intense beam...
Read full story6-year-old entrepreneur jailed for deaths stemming from "Puppy Chocolate Factory" business
BRUNSWICK, GA - When 6-year-old Jamie Applesmith opened her business "Puppy Chocolate Factory," the reaction was astonishing. More than a dozen of her closest family members and neighbors came knocking at her door to support her business, many of who...
Read full storyJohn Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (1/2)
Notable public figure, hilariously swiftboated, um, SWIFTBOAT political celebrity and darling of the MSNBC broadcasting-apologetical complex John Kerry… Well, he's just made yet another honest mistake in a somewhat lengthy line of honest mistakes. John Kerry has put his hermeneutical philosophy of 'The Constitution is a living document' into practice via a creative reinterpretation of the Fi...
Read full storyWorst Mass Shooting in U.S. History
Yesterday morning, everyone in the lower forty-eight states was killed or critically wounded in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. Investigators from Canada's RCMP and Mexico's Policia Federales issued the following joint statement (as they...
Read full storyMove over Trump! This 100-foot robot with an American flagpole cock is the new Republican darling!
WASHINGTON, DC - Standing at a modest 18-full-grown-men tall, the sentient wrecking ball that is Koktor is setting fire to recent Republican polls. Having arrived on the political stage just days after defending the Pacific coast from a radioactive o...
Read full storyClinton Declared Winner of 2nd Democratic debate One Month Early: CNNs new model reveals
The field of Democratic presidential hopefuls will face off in their second debate hosted by CBS in one month's time, but thanks to CNN's new predictive model using Bayesian statistics, Markov Chain and a new technique referred to as 'Hyperbole Subte...
Read full storyMen Banned From Public Transport
In a controversial move announced today, all transport companies across the USA will be taking steps to ban men from using public transport at peak times. This follows a successful campaign by Free the Space, an activist group founded by Chloe Ben...
Read full storyPlayboy to Feature Cats and Women
Playboy magazine is to include pictures of naked women and cats, as part of its redesign. Its owners have blamed the internet for making mainstream pornographic material freely and readily available to all. Playboy's target audience has drasti...
Read full storyPutin Invites Gays to Russia for Sex
The Supreme Leader of Father Russia, Vladimir Putin has taken to the airwaves to declare that his country is a secret sexual haven for gays. On an LGBT radio show, the Fatherland's leader criticised the rest of the world's treatments of homosexual...
Read full storyCorbyn's Plans To Turn Downing Street into Refugee Camp
Jeremy Corbyn has today vowed that he would turn Downing Street into a refugee centre. Speaking from one of the spare bedrooms in his North London detached house, Corbyn said this: "We need to show compassion. We need to show the world we are pre...
Read full storyChannel Tunnel brought to a standstill by Brits hoping to escape the Island!
Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach Infiltration Army) special demographic upheaval reporter, Sir Bob Subterranean-Blues-Witherspoon, spent a filthy night under the English Channel observing an Exodus (Bob Marley intro please) of True Brits flooding the Chann...
Read full storyBumper Stickers Annonymous
You're driving down the road and suddenly you find yourself behind a vehicle covered completely in bumper stickers. What do you do? This is exactly the question local officials are asking in the latest crackdown for road safety.
Read full story10 Worst Things About Being Irish
(1) Claiming that you are "irish". Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking they are Irish. An 'Irish' beard has never been shaved by an 'Irish' razor. (2). Seeking recognition for doing something exceptional. Taboo is that. That is why the Irish are hopeless at anything competitive. "Who da fuck duz he tink he is?" is an effective deterrent against the very thought of trying to win at ANYTHING.
Read full storyKim Davis: "Pole Dancing Helps Me Pray"
In an odd twist to the ever bizarre story of Kentucky clerk Kim Davis, a new interview in Christian Bigot Magazine unveils more secrets of the so-called conservative. "When I'm home alone, which ain't often with four ex husbands and several basta...
Read full storyChild raised on sexually explicit movies grows up to be sex god
Local teenager Jake Smith is heralded to be outstanding at sex after spending the last ten years of his childhood watching films with strong sexual content. After years of subverting parental controls and sneaking into R-rated films to watch two...
Read full storyChildren Who Whisper at Risk for Psychosis in Adulthood
Atlanta, GA: The Center for Disease Control issued an alarming report that states a child's risk for developing serious psychiatric disorders in adulthood increased by 62% if they excessively "whispered". Lawrence Lipschitz M.D. said parents shoul...
Read full storyEPA Formally Declares Humans are Danger to Environment
WASHINGTON, DC - The United States EPA announced today that humans threaten public health and the environment. "The administration will not ignore science or the law any longer, nor will we avoid the responsibility we owe to our children and our g...
Read full storyClinton Slams Bush: 'Warmongering, Cynical Establishment Career Politician!'
The Dynasty Wars are heating up. Never mind Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Clinton vs Bush is where it's at! Or at least, it's where the money's at, anyways! See the transcript of Clinton's latest semi-public post on the notable TOR website known as Dark Internet Policy Forum: Jeb Bush? Look, I strongly believe in America and in meritocracy. OK? I just can't accept that in America, of all...
Read full storyMagazine Associated with Norman Rockwell Paintings to Publish Nude Centerfolds
Indianapolis-"I only read it for the Norman Rockwell tributes." That is what editors of The Saturday Evening Post are hoping to hear from horny readers-old and young-when it starts publishing nude centerfolds of deceased and aging celebrities nex...
Read full storyMystery planet with huge structure found by boffins
An announcement from NASA that the discovery of a possible structure surrounding a planet could be made by Aliens was met with a mixed reaction today. Scientists studying the planet say they have found what appears to be a structure surrounding th...
Read full storySelfie Stick Ruled Illegal: Violates Montana Pole Patent
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a special ruling issued yesterday, United States Patent Judge Willard "The Rat" Helmsley, declared that the so called "selfie stick" violated the patent issued to Dr. Viscount Billingsgate for his invention of the "Montana Pole...
Read full storyPutin Puts In His Pugnacious Presence to Punitively Preempt and Perhaps Plunder the Syrian Proceedings Plight
Obama and other world leaders were sitting around the UN private lounge contemplating what to do about the Syrian crisis that was disturbing all of the Mideast and Europe. Depression had set in due to the difficulties that had arisen over the situation that seemed to escalate no matter what their efforts were. And it all was basically because of one man- Bashar al-Assad, the dictator of Syria.
Read full storySnowden Reveals Secret to Understanding Alien Communications To Earth
US government whistle-blower Edward Snowden believes they're aliens species in the universe. Snowden said, "They're trying to communicate with us. But we just don't understand them. " Snowden has an answer for researchers, scientists and amateur...
Read full storyFaded NJ Republican Star Looks to Shine a Little Brighter
Chris Christie A Faded New Jersey Republican Star attempts to shine brighter by switching his focus. He is now campaigning for The 2016 Democratic Presidential Nomination. Christie's staff released a statement earlier today " With Hilary being th...
Read full storyRepublicans Greet Pope Francis
[The New York Times, Sept. 23, 2015] WASHINGTON - Welcomed with a fanfare of trumpets and a chorus of amens, Pope Francis introduced himself to the United States on Wednesday with a bracing message on climate change, immigration and poverty that ranged from the pastoral to the political. "I and my family are practicing Catholics, and I have the greatest respect for Francis, but the Pope isn't...
Read full storyObama's "don't do stupid stuff" policy upgraded for honorable exceptions
Mr. Obama's hallmark "don't-do-stupid-stuff" policy from a few years back is currently being upgraded to "unless-it-involves-Syria." Yesterday the US dropped 50 tons of ammunition near Raqqa to a Syria-Arab brigade fighting ISIS/IS, the leader of...
Read full storyArrieta Delivers Baby; Cubs Win
The Chicago Cubs are on the verge of securing a NLDS series win over the St. Louis Cardinals. With the series victory they will only have one team in their way for the opportunity to compete in the World Series, for the first time since 1945. The...
Read full storyEuropean Union clamps down on lemon pips
The European Union is preparing to crack down on the volume of pips found in lemons. Horst Limeburger, leader of the new Citrus Division in Brussels, confirmed: "We have been receiving complaints from restaurants and hobby cooks. One caterer count...
Read full storyThe Sewage and the Sorrow
Bulging and bellicose, Masha Krause is a bit of a curiosity in the town of Statesville N.C. As an amateur bodybuilder she has made a lonely niche for herself among the more reserved and conventional residents. Last summer things got ugly for Masha as an ongoing feud she'd had with her neighbors reached it's tipping point. It all started on the somber autumn day of October 14th last year. "Hog...
Read full storyNational Not Going Out Campaign Announcement Ruined By Interloper From The Free Press
Extraordinary scenes erupted at a press conference today when Dr Joseph H Mengelay informed the press that the BMA (British Medical Association) will be announcing a new campaign to stop people from going out in the evenings. Despite facing tough...
Read full storyLiverpool sack manager and replace him with a dead Beetle!
In pure desperation and a determination to win back former glory, Liverpool have sacked their manager and replaced him with a dead Beetle! It was a difficult decision sacking their present manager, but after a long debate, 5 minutes, the Liverpool...
Read full storySenator John McCain Advocates Afghanistan As 51st State
Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman John McCain (R-Ariz.) said Thursday he was "pleased" by the Presidents decision to keep 5,500 U.S. troops in Afghanistan after 2016, but pressed for "a surge of 17,000 more boots on the ground for that country...
Read full storyAssange responds to withdrawal of police from outside the embassy
According to a recent interview with Spoof News, Julian Assange has stated his relief at being able to look out the window and see no sign of police around the embassy. He stated that the shock of this development is only gradually wearing off. Fo...
Read full storyAmid Rising Poll Numbers, Ben Carson Announces the World Is Flat
DOG'S TICK, AL--At a campaign event in Alabama on Tuesday, Ben Carson announced to an enthusiastic crowd, many of whom were near the top half of their graduating class in high school, that the world is not, as has been maintained since the fifteent...
Read full storyThe Special One is a victim of tabloid scumbags!
A once very "Special One" loved by Chelsea Dandy's, Fairies and other Mad Hatters, has become yet another bloody victim of British tabloids a most desirable pack of blood-thirsty bloodhounds, unique in the world and second to none! The Daily S++r,...
Read full storyRepublican House Committee On Benghazi Elects Hillary Clinton President
Wow! Not exactly their intention, but the Republican House Committee on Benghazi managed to present Hillary Clinton, the former Secretary of State and US Senator from New York, as knowledgeable, accurate, professional and presidential; clearly, not t...
Read full storyIRS Says High Income Women Marrying Jesus as Tax Dodge
Officials at the IRS suspect many of the recent marriages involving Jesus Christ and high income women may not be kosher. IRS director Gus Whitney said today, "We received thousands of tax returns last year from women who are newly married to Jesu...
Read full storyIsraeli hypocrite claims Hitler was a Palestinian!
Isreal PM, Netanyahu, has come out of his hypocritical closet claiming Hitler was not an Austrian, white power maniac, he claims Hitler was actually a Palestinian under-cover agent whose sole objectives were to burn Jews in hell! Germany have rapi...
Read full storyPolice Launch Operation Witch-Hunt
Police today have announced the launch of Operation Witch-Hunt . In a statement issued today, Chief Superintendent Hopkins, who will head the operation, has said that although witchcraft is not illegal in the UK anymore there are many historica...
Read full storyTen things men look for in a woman
In a survey from Thailand to Morocco men's magazine "U-R-FKD" discovered that men's taste in women had not changed over thousands of years. Certain key traits however seemed to predominate over the centuries. If Cleopatra turned men on with her brains as well as her beauty many more found success in the absence of both. It really devolved to who the male was as women seemed to tick eve...
Read full story"Obama must go" demand grows out of the Syria conflict
Sources have now drilled down into origins of this new development as not coming from Vladimir Putin, who states, "Partners should see it through." It comes from a specialized group in touch with both the Assad and ISIS regimes. The nature of thi...
Read full storyVW turns back the clock!
German giant VW has promised to turn back the clock and remove all computers / software from their cars, and go back to basics. Second world war Beetles, still produced in Mexico, will now be produced in Wolfsburg, Germany, and Golf's will be offered...
Read full storyWakiLeaks Gets An Inside Look At Assad's Meeting With Putin
The famed web expose site WakiLeaks scored a mammoth coup this week with its hidden camera surveillance of the Assad/Putin meeting in Moscow. The leader of Syria and the President of Russia were presumably meeting to discuss their mutual concerns abo...
Read full storyTory leader tells the truth
In a remarkable turnaround in party policy, David Cameron, Conservative head and Prime Minister, has pledged to pursue an honest approach to politics. His message to Conference was, "From now on we're going to tell the truth." "Yes, it's risky," s...
Read full storyDutch remain flat!
It seems "there are too many mountains high enough" for the Dutch as they attempted to climb Everest and fell off with impunity. Remaining as flat as their national dish, pancakes smothered with syrup, very sticky! Blind led the blind into a cul d...
Read full storyBill Clinton Rates Bimbos: Monica "Most Fun I've Had With My Pants On ..."
BILLINGSGATE POST: Hardly a day goes by that news of Slick Willie being linked to a bimbo doesn't make headlines. With Hillary's run for president, long past trysts are being recalled by victims of his charm. Gennifer Flowers, who claims to have h...
Read full storyNo Longer Bringing Home The Bacon
Processed meat causes cancer! We were so shocked when we read (skimmed it and looked for pictures) the report, through a haze of Shisha smoke, we were outraged. We quickly like two cigarettes each to calm our nerves and called up the most sciency sci...
Read full storyMSM outfits name Trump and Sanders winners and call for speeding up 2016 election
A coalition of mainstream news (MSM) corporations has stepped forward to announce that the 2016 candidates for the presidency are already clear, and it's time to move on. The candidates are Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, and the election can pro...
Read full storyHot Closet Sex Romp May Have Burned Hillary's Email Server: Bimbo Not Named
BILLINGSGATE POST: A leaked report from FBI Headquarters places blame for Hillary's missing emails squarely on an amorous encounter that took place on top of the server that was located in a closet in the Clinton's home in Chappaqua, NY. DNA evid...
Read full storyTrump Inspired to Follow Webb's Lead in Admitting Murder on National Television
Las Vegas, Nevada - At the Democratic debates in Las Vegas last night, the closing question posed by moderator Anderson Cooper was a unique one. Each candidate was given 90 seconds to identify the enemy they were most proud of making during their lif...
Read full storySpanish Inland Revenue feels sorry for Messi!
Lionel Messi, super-star footballer who applies his trade in Spain, Barcelona, to be precise, has many allies in the Spanish Inland Revenue; and they all feel sorry for him! Exactly how many millions he earns nobody really knows, but tax officers...
Read full storyJason Segel Definitely Read All of "Infinite Jest" Before Shooting "End of The Tour"
Jason Segel stars as the critically acclaimed writer in End of the Tour, which tells the story of the five-day interview between Wallace and journalist David Lipsky, played by Jesse Eisenberg. In a statement released on Friday, the press has been...
Read full story"Enough Whistleblowing," says everyone, as Anonymous threatens to publish your porn search history
Rocked Britain was concerned for it's mates yesterday as news leaked that Anonymous, a group of 12 year old virgins from Buttfuck County Arizona, intend to publish your internet porn search history online in frustration at the girl at band camp not...
Read full storyShort Guy Opts for Taller Urinal at Rest Area
Ludlow, MA - Short Guy Terry Dapp opted for a taller urinal upon entering the Ludlow Service Plaza Men's Room last Saturday. Vertically challenged at five feet four inches, Dapp would have been a superb match for the lower urinal that well serve...
Read full storyWebb: Vietnam was 'happiest time of my life'
Following Tuesday night's first Democratic presidential primary debate, former senator Jim Webb was given a chance to clarify one of the most memorable comments of the evening. Asked which enemy of his he is most proud of, Webb replied, "I'd have...
Read full storyGDR experts asked by Merkel how to build a new wall!
Ex GDR wall builders have been invited by German chancellor, Angela Merkel, to give their advice in how to build a wall around the southern borders of Germany between Austria, Czech Republic and Lichtenstein. It seems that Merkels' policy of carte...
Read full storyTrump to Germany: Nobody out-cheats the good old U.S. of A!
In a recent press interview, leading Republican Presidential contender Donald Trump was asked for his thoughts on the recent Volkswagen scandal in which it installed "defeat devices" in millions of its diesel-powered cars to dupe emission tests to ma...
Read full storyNo Sex - We're British!
As the sex allegations against Top People begin to tumble into the gutter our intrepid hack Josh Wanker has been interviewed by the Police at the centre of the Investigations. After the interview Wanker told me 'There's nothing in it. They stopped...
Read full storyA Look Back In Homage To John Boehner
WHAT A WEEK! [After his masterful leadership of the House of Representatives in passing a funding bill for the Department of Homeland Security, Speaker John Boehner grants an interview to a roomful of reporters from around the world.] Al Jazeera: Mr. Speaker, wouldn't you say that a legislative body that can only pass a one-week funding bill is dysfunctional? Boehner: Not at all. In fact...
Read full storyBookies Profits on Jimmy Savile Inquiry Continue.
The following is quoted directly from a The Spoof.com article dating from November 2013. Savile was connected to almost 600 cases of abuse in total. Inquiry into Savile's past began immediately after his death in October 2011. This resulted in a Newsnight program that was hastily stopped from being screened. The Spoof article concerned a a Bookies' bogus view of the official police inquiry tha...
Read full storyChina loses its (golf) balls!
The Chinese Communist party has gone back to the future by banning members from joining golf clubs! Mao Tse Tung, communist legend and evil dictator once lost his balls and slightly less evil dictator, Adolf H, only had one, but this has nothing to d...
Read full storySt Albans sinkhole: 3D street artist gets it all wrong
A well-known pavement artist who has created many of the most famous 3D street paintings got it all wrong today when he attempted to trick homeowners in St Albans that their street had collapsed into a gigantic hole. The publicity stunt backfired...
Read full storyManor Park Man Astounded To Encounter Dossers And Whores At The Local ATM
A Manor Park man who wishes to be anonymous, despite everybody knowing him, was stunned to be asked for "a pahnd" by a dosser at the BR station cashpoint on Thursday night at 8pm. He fended this affront off claiming he had no money, neck-punching...
Read full storyHurricane Patricia Disappoints Cable News Networks
MIAMI, FL - U.S. NOA forecasters say Hurricane Patricia has crossed into Mexico and has caused little damage, dashing the hopes of cable news networks. Hurricane Patricia did not produce the devastating results that all cable networks predicted, d...
Read full storyGerman Blitzkrieg over Liverpool!
Liverpool has been the target of a German Blitzkrieg and surrendered after being bombarded by a series of bombshells that were released by the enemies of logic, the British tabloids! It even cost them 21 million GBPpounds! The 21 million was not...
Read full storyFocus Group Loses Sight Of Hillary
BILLINGSGATE POST: QUESTION: If your eyes looked like two piss holes in a snowbank, and your lips were pink like a rooster's dink; you had chipmunk cheeks bouncing around every which-way when your phony jackass laugh sent folks up the wall, and you...
Read full storyReggae Star Immortal Cocaine Case; Herb Alpert Occupying Half A Mountain John Lydon Lives On
"Herb" Alpert and Gregory Isaacs are both made entirely out of cocaine - I myself personally saw Gregory Isaac's crew lift Him onto the stage where He glinted among the lights, reflected by the diamond-fillingrettes and filligreed teeth of the attend...
Read full storyOscar Pistorius' Uncle buys bullet-proof pyjamas
Reuters, South Africa: Arnold Pistorius, the Uncle of convicted killer Oscar Pistorius has purchased a pair of bullet-proof pyjamas, it has been revealed. Oscar is now living at Uncle Arnold's mansion on Lawley Street, amidst controversy about whe...
Read full storyMy trousers
I have never thought of myself as a fashion icon, but an experience I have recently had has made me think again. When I work in the garden I use an old pair of denim trousers, torn with holes all over them. Recently I was gardening and remembered that we needed to get some milk. So I downed tools and set off for the shops. I had not changed my trousers and realised I had also forgotten to w...
Read full storyNew Debut Album Sure Fire Hit for Schillings
Fritz Schillings son of Keith Schillings of the Schillings global legal firm that deal with defamation notably of the high and mighty... and who have many celebrities on its books including J.K. Rowling... has begun a career in music. This is a big surprise to those who know him as his penchant for musical expression is a complete mystery to all of them. Nevertheless, Fritz has released a new...
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