Written by j.w.

Thursday, 1 October 2015

I have never thought of myself as a fashion icon, but an experience I have recently had has made me think again.

When I work in the garden I use an old pair of denim trousers, torn with holes all over them. Recently I was gardening and remembered that we needed to get some milk.
So I downed tools and set off for the shops.

I had not changed my trousers and realised I had also forgotten to wear a belt. My trousers were slowing sinking from my hips.

Then I heard a female voice. 'Wow - what a knockout!' I got further admiring words and quite a few candid and satisfied looks.

As my trousers slipped further down I felt a hand giving them a slight tug and another exploring a hole in the trousers near my knee.

'How much for your bags off?' came a query. At a loss I said £100.

'You don't come cheap' she said.

'£10 to undo my zip' I suggested.

So my offer was £100 for the zip and £100 for going all the way.

When I got home I had milk all over my trousers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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