BILLINGSGATE POST: A leaked report from FBI Headquarters places blame for Hillary's missing emails squarely on an amorous encounter that took place on top of the server that was located in a closet in the Clinton's home in Chappaqua, NY.
DNA evidence that was recovered from the server is still being analyzed by FBI technicians. The disruption in service, which might explain why there is a gap in the number of emails turned over to the State Department, coincides with the Benghazi attack that is the subject of the current investigation of former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.
In the leaked report, FBI sources say that the damaged server may have been used as the platform for a sexual encounter between the former president and an unidentified bimbo. The server in question was evidently tipped over sometime during the activity, resulting in a quasi-damaged interlink between the server and the source server computer located in Denver.
Part of the conversation that occurred during the purported sex romp was picked up by special FBI decryption methods that for security reasons remain encrypted. The highly sensitive conversation that took place between President Clinton and said Bimbo indicate, even to the casual voyeur, that Slick Willie was joking about a prostate exam he had undergone that morning. Reportedly, he said that when he asked the doctor where he should put his pants, the doctor replied; "just put them next to mine."
"HAW! HAW!" guffawed the president. "Just pillow talk. I didn't have sex on that computer."
Whether this explanation will satisfy the Benghazi panel remains to be seen. Congressman Trey Gowdy sounded skeptical:
"How can a man his age," referring to Slick WIllie, "turn over a email server while having sex? Leaves a lot to the imagination."