As the sex allegations against Top People begin to tumble into the gutter our intrepid hack Josh Wanker has been interviewed by the Police at the centre of the Investigations.
After the interview Wanker told me 'There's nothing in it. They stopped under age sex when they left school. After they had fumbled with the Fag and screwed with the Head of Games this juvenile behaviour was left behind them.'
Despite cynical disbelief in the Newsroom Wanker maintains that the times they are a changing and all the Tom, Dick and Harry stories have come from men who just don't like politicians.
'Top people just wouldn't do the things alleged' he tells us.
Meanwhile a visit from MI5 to the Spoof newsroom reminding us that National Insecurity was against the law tamed even the most suspicious amongst us. One of our colleagues who had been to a famed Public School and had told us he knew a thing or two about what went on said the MI5 intervention from someone mysteriously called 'The Fourth Man' had convinced him that he was now savvy to the whole scene.