Obama's "don't do stupid stuff" policy upgraded for honorable exceptions

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

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Assad to be offered mansion re "Assad must go" policy

Mr. Obama's hallmark "don't-do-stupid-stuff" policy from a few years back is currently being upgraded to "unless-it-involves-Syria."

Yesterday the US dropped 50 tons of ammunition near Raqqa to a Syria-Arab brigade fighting ISIS/IS, the leader of which has been "fully vetted" according to a US Central Command spokesperson.

This means the ammunition will not (at this time) be passed along to al-Nusra and ISIS as previously in a regularly occurring transfer phenomenon from "moderates" to the extremists.

Being re-considered is whether abandoning the US's half billion training program to develop moderates, which yielded four (4) combatants, was a good idea or not.

Designated "stupid stuff" three days ago, this train-up-the-moderates program is possibly "still feasible" according to new thinking.

The State Department suggests that adding in a few moderates here and there might lead to their being targeted by the Russians, which could assist arguing points in complaining about Russia's current actions.

Meanwhile, not cooperating with Russia while maintaining the "Assad must go" position is still in place to maintain policy consistency.

With ISIS defeated, the question of who will lead Syria will be pursued in negotiations between Russia, Iran, Israel, Saudi Arabia,Turkey, and the US.

The Syrian people's views will be considered--as long as they do not add to regional tensions.

Assad will be offered a palatial estate in the Indian Ocean near the Chagos Islands.

His removal to retirement paradise will be protected by Saudi Arabian and Turkish air force fighter jets to make sure he arrives on the ground properly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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