Oscar Pistorius' Uncle buys bullet-proof pyjamas

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

image for Oscar Pistorius' Uncle buys bullet-proof pyjamas
Oscar's new jail cell is his uncle's mansion, which sort of looks like this

Reuters, South Africa: Arnold Pistorius, the Uncle of convicted killer Oscar Pistorius has purchased a pair of bullet-proof pyjamas, it has been revealed.

Oscar is now living at Uncle Arnold's mansion on Lawley Street, amidst controversy about whether it is right for a convicted killer to enjoy such luxurious surroundings. A large mob of journalists has camped outside the electric iron gates.

However, a spokesman for Uncle Arnold vigorously denied that the unusual night time gear is in any way connected with his new house mate, who admitted to a Pretoria court shooting his girlfriend and model, Reeva Steenkamp on Valentine's Day, mistaking her for her burglar. "Uncle Arnold isn't afraid that Oscar might mistake him for a burglar", he said. "He just likes the feel of bullet proof material. Any extra security benefits are purely coincidental."

It has also been revealed that Oscar's bedroom will have a large bucket next to the bed to enable the athlete to barf into it if he needs to. During his trial, he kept a barfing bucket in the dock, which he used several times when the grizzly details of how he shot his girlfriend were revealed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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