Potential Empress denies she was out of touch as Tatooine spiraled out of control

Funny story written by D P Whitehead

Thursday, 22 October 2015

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Imperial candidate Higgid Conte defended herself Thursday against accusations she was out of touch as the situation in Tatooine spiraled out of control before the 78901 rebel attack, at a long-awaited Imperial hearing where leading members of the Empire grilled her for over six hours.

While the day-long hearing spanned everything from the initial decision to intervene in Tatooine to Conte's public explanation of the attack, a central allegation was that she paid more attention to the dark side of the force then pleas from murdered Ambassador Skyrim Boaggins to increase security in the face of growing threats from the orange-clad rebels. But, even as Conte said she "took responsibility," she accepted little blame for the denial of security requests before the attack.

Clinton testified to the committee that the security requests were handled by security professionals in the department and not her.

"I did not see them. I did not approve them. I did not deny them," she said, while saying she was aware of the risks on the ground. "If anything, blame Vader," she said referring to deceased former henchman of the Empire.

The attack, in which the Ambassador and three elite stormtroopers were killed, was seen as a major failure of the Empire's interplanetary communication system and procedures in place to protect Imperial personnel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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