There were 91 spoof news stories published in November 2015. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Aggressive Pitbull To Have Testicles Removed
A Cuban/American rapper who 'jumped up on' one of his recording producers and left her with no injuries whatsoever is to have his testicles removed. A Miami-Dade judge ordered the balls be chopped off after hearing of the attack on November 1st...
Read full story800-Pound MALL Alligator Emails The Spoof
The gator (nicknamed Godzilla) nabbed outside a Houston-area mall has a lot to say about humans. Here are some direct quotes from his email to The Spoof: -- "They muzzled me, which is why I'm using email for all my communications at this point. Phooey." -- "They blasted my weight all over the Internet. What nerve! I plan to sue for invasion of privacy." -- "I was just minding my own busin...
Read full storyLDS Church Announces Acquisition of Westboro Baptist Church
LDS Church Announces Acquisition of Westboro Baptist Church-(Marketwired - Nov 15, 2015) - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ("LDS church") is very pleased to announce the acquisition of the Westboro Baptist Church ("WBC" or "Westboro")...
Read full storyBen Carson: "If Jesus Had a Gun, He'd Be Alive Today."
SEATTLE (The Kal-El Report)- Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson told Fox News' Greta Van Susteren in her "Off the Record" show this week, "If our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ had an assault rifle or even a sidearm like a Glock, he would be...
Read full storyTrump Cherishes Hillary's Butt: Looks Like 2 Dogs Fighting In Gunnysack
BILLINGSGATE POST: The great "Pantsuit vs Hair" controversy has just risen to a higher level. Following Hillary's throw-away remark that Donald Trump "should shave his head if wants to be taken seriously," the Trumpster counter-punched Sunday durin...
Read full storyAlbino Raccoon Found Hiding In Trump Comb-Over
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Davey Crockett first covered his receding hairline with a coonskin hat has there been anything close to this. Crack BILLINGSGATE investigative reporter, Detrick "Dirty Tricks" Detwiler, was the first to notice the black...
Read full storyPreparation H--As In "Hilary" Was Secret to Successful Benghazi Hearing
Amiko Aventurista, the world's leading journalist has done it again. In this exclusive interview with Hilary Clinton the former Secretary of State reveals what she did to prepare for the Congressional hearings regarding the events in Benghazi. Aventurista: Madam Secretary thank you for granting me this exclusive interview. And of course bienvenida a Maunabo, Puerto Rico. I can't believe you ag...
Read full storyNew Flint Mayor Promises To Bring Back Autoworld
Newly elected mayor of Flint, Michigan, Karen Weaver, took the oath of office this morning. Ms. Weaver is the first African-American women elected Mayor of Flint. She won in a landslide, 82% to 18%, and clearly has a strong mandate. In a one hou...
Read full storyPost-Mortem Skype Reveals Hellish Secret
In a new program launched by the Theo-Science Department of Adam Everson University (Normal, IL), researchers were able to create a method of very tangibly speaking to those who have passed away. Done through a method derived of advanced electronic...
Read full storyChickens Strike After McDonald's Announces All Day Breakfast
Shares of McDonald's stock fell 18% after traders learned that the recently introduced all-day breakfast menu was causing serious labor problems for the world's largest restaurant chain. Trading was hectic on the big board, driven primarily by i...
Read full storyConsumer Review - Starbucks vs Dunkin Donuts
Boston MA - Let's be honest, we have all had the opportunity of visiting each of these food service chains at least once. It wouldn't even be out of the realm of possibility that you have hit them both in the same day. I definitely prefer one over...
Read full storySharma Shake Up
Our roving reporter, Joe Wiss, has been quickly deployed from Lesbos to Sharma-el-Sheik - he gets all the best locations. He reports that he thought that after the refugee crisis on Lesbos, with hundreds of distraught people of all ages, clamberin...
Read full storySchrodinger's Cat Tells All
FRANKFURT, GERMANY - The idea of Schrodinger's cat has long baffled scientists, entertained meme makers, and horrified animal rights' activists. But one thing puzzles the minds of all who have heard this famous tale: Is Schrodinger's cat alive or de...
Read full storyTrump's Dreaming of a White Christmas
(To be sung to the familiar tune we all know so well) Trump's dreaming of a white Christmas Just like the ones he used to know. Where stores segregate and black folks listen To hear those echoes of Jim Crow. Trump's dreaming of a white Christmas With every ethnic group he slights. May his days be full of poison spite And may all his Christmases be white. Trump's dreaming of a white...
Read full storyObama Faces Tough Battle In House To Pass KFC
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama now faces probably his toughest dining-room challenge since passage of mashed potatoes in 2009 - persuading Malia and/or Michelle to pass the fried chicken (KFC). Both Malia and Michelle plan to block the passage...
Read full storyWhat the what now?
A discovery has been made that will revolutionise science, medicine, entertainment, sex,drugs and music as we know it, but due to the amount of red tape and paper-work it will produce, no one wants to work on it. Lee Fishcake, a brand new,newly qu...
Read full storySmart Phone eats woman's ear, attaches to head!
Anna Mae McCorkle, a prominent citizen off Louisburg, NC was rushed to the hospital this morning after collapsing at the local Walmart. The Franklin Times is reporting that she was taken to Wake Med in Raleigh as all of the doctors in Louisburg have...
Read full storyTrump Set To Deport Illegals - Finds Entertaining Way To Do It
Burgeoning politician (and president) Donald Trump has once again riled the American public and got illegal immigrants twitching in their hammocks. If Trump is elected, and it's an 'if' the size of Trump Towers, 11 million people could find themselve...
Read full storyFinley Quaid Recovering After Paris Concert Shootings
A total of 89 people fans were killed and more than 100 injured when anti trip hop gunmen stormed the Bataclan concert hall during a gig by UK singing artist Finley Quaid on Friday. Finley, 58, whose only UK chart hit to date is 'Because I love y...
Read full storyTrump The Great's First Day As President
Dolly Darling, the President's Secretary, excitedly and fearfully puts the finishing touches to the Oval Office, the new lair of her boss Donald Trump. He would be here shortly and she knows all too well how critical he is that everything should be perfect., or at least perfect as Donald Trump sees it. She knocks some lint off the large velvet rendition of Elvis in day glow colors in full rocker m...
Read full storyNext Republican Debate to be Held in a Virginia Daycare Center
WASHINGTON, DC--A number of staff members from this year's Republican presidential contenders met in a suburb of Virginia on Sunday to hash out the details for the next Republican debate, to be held, one spokesperson from the meeting said, at a dayc...
Read full storyThe Peculiar Life and Lonely Death of the Last Revolutionary
Communist espousing, failed cult leader, bigot, and black power feminist, Binacra Washington died in a Baltimore assisted living facility Wednesday, she was 71. Born in Atlanta, GA. April, 3rd 1944 she was the daughter of Gully and Ginger Washing...
Read full storyPut More Old People On the Moon
Following the roaring success of this year's Christmas John Lewis advert featuring a lonely old man living on the moon a government minister has come up with a unique solution to help all old, lonely, elderly, people. Norman Bygate, MP for Staff...
Read full storyA Turkey downs Russian fighter
Startled by Thanksgiving revelers, a turkey flew into a Russian fighter's engine, crashing the plane. Cranberry sauce was spilled inside the engine and gravy dripped on the pilot's shirt. The Russian pilot claims that the turkey had stealth capabi...
Read full storyMet office storms to be renamed
The Met office today announced a change to the naming convention it has used for the last fifteen years. The change follows the increase in over the top reporting that follows when it gets a little bit windy outside, Normally, the storms a...
Read full story"Women Just Aren't Funny" Claims Lee Evans Fan
It has become clear to many that the number of comedians who are women on British television has increased in the last few years with a number of humorous and funny women becoming regulars on panel shows on a number of TV channels, but not everybody...
Read full storyCore Characteristics of Millennials -- Updated
As a public service, the Alliance for Millennial Entitlement and Legitimacy has recently issued a definitive list of those core characteristics which describe this confident, great generation. The official list of Millennial Core Characteristics follows: Their multi-tasking prowess is asserted by tokeing joints while texting and fiddling with piercings when on the freeway at speed. Video ga...
Read full storyNazi Technology under Consideration for Modern Application
PARIS - In response to the atrocities which unfolded in Paris this weekend, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) have deployed UN sanctioned engineers to Oswiecim, Poland, to conduct analysis on the functional...
Read full storyBen Carson Relocates To The Future Where Everything Is Rosy
Ben Carson was thought to be keeping a low profile after no one had seen him for several days. The campaign trail seemed to run out of road. Phone calls from friends and trusted aides were not returned. Republican officials have now released a sta...
Read full storyAprès la vie
In physics, energy can be transferred or converted to kinetic, radiant, elastic, thermal or chemical energy, but it cannot be created or destroyed. Benjamin Franklin, born 1706, before his discovery, believed that 'clouds formed over the ocean had more electricity than clouds formed over the land; therefore, when these two clouds came close enough to one anther, the different charges had to eq...
Read full storyErskine Quint steams into Texas with smoking barrels!
British Aristocrat, mercurial stud, brilliantly intelligent and super athlete, Erskine Quint, has been invited to Harlingen, Texas, for a showdown with the local gun-slingers! It is a well know fact that Yanks love British eccentricity and could n...
Read full storyClinton Email May Answer Question Of Why She Stood By Bill After Affair
Hillary Clinton, long under investigation by Congress for her use of a private email account for government business, may wish that messages concerning the Benghazi inquiry are the only revelations that come out. Recently disclosed emails indicat...
Read full storyObama dispatches gaseous hero dog to defeat ISIS
The White House announced this morning that President Barack Obama has dispatched Moose, the gaseous hero dog to ISIS strongholds in Syria. "It is time," Obama said in a prepared statement, "to once again use the ultimate weapon. It is not a decisio...
Read full storyJerry Bruckheimer Arrested After Shooting Pilot
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Jerome Leon ("Jerry") Bruckheimer was arrested today after the FBI discovered that he had shot a pilot. FBI agent, Dick Rasch, announced the arrest today at a press conference held today at L'Ermitage, the most expensive hotel in B...
Read full storyAbe the turkey rejects Obama's pardon
Abe the Turkey, has rejected the president's yearly tradition of pardoning a turkey every thanksgiving. Reading from a prepared statement, Abe's attorney's Lorenzo De Pavo, explained that his client has no reason to accept a pardon because that woul...
Read full storyGive us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses of people with last name of Smith or Jones
The United States Congress passed legislation this morning dictating the parameters of what refugees will be allowed in the country. "Of course, there will be exceptions," stated Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House of Representatives. " After all, we ar...
Read full storyCrocodile prison guards employed by Indonesian prisons!
To make sure their prisoners never get out alive, Indonesia has decided to employ huge crocodiles to patrol their prisons instead of the human version. Indonesia is renowned for its infamous and very strict prison regimes and once an inmate is in,...
Read full storyBust of Cheney will feature him as Napolean with book in his left hand titled "War is not all that bad"
Richard Cheney, who left the office of vice-president in 2009 with a 13 percent approval rating, will be honored with a bust at the capitol this December. He has chosen to be rendered as Napolean in typical stance, with black hat, known as the bic...
Read full storyPentagon officials and war planners to be given holy grail award for their grasp of the ISIS attack in Paris with additional recognition to CNN, MSNBC, et al
Stunned by the quickness and acerbity of its grasp of cause-effect on the problem of ISIS, the US Pentagon and assorted MSM organizations have quickly been recognized and promoted for this year's "holy grail award" (the HGA). Due to widely broadc...
Read full storyHillary & Donald agree to become one -- literary : unresolved issues remain
The world of politics has been shaken, stirred, and flipped. Nothing close to today's events could have been imagined-never! For the first time in American history, Democrats and Republicans have agreed to merge political parties. Hillary C...
Read full storyTrump does Shakespeare
Quince: Is all our company here? Trump: We don't need anyone else: I can play all the roles. Quince: You are set down for Pyramus. Trump: I'll play him, and Thisby, too. And the wall, and the lion. Quince: You can play no part but Pyramus . . . Trump: You watch - I'll be great. They'll love me, even in Iowa. Quince: But . . . Trump: Not only will I be great as Pyra...
Read full storyWikileaks Latest...
Dear diary, *sigh I have been working for five years on the International Anti-Terrorism Forensic Task Force and after examining the Paris attacks I have yet again come to the conclusion that it was the governments that were behind this. It's always the freakin' governments! Boston - government! Charlie Hebdo - government! Australia - government! And my superiors (obviously) don...
Read full storyChip butty 'central' to continued EU membership, says Cameron
Fundamental, far-reaching changes to redefine Britain's membership in the European Union were outlined by the Prime Minister, David Cameron, yesterday in a hand-written letter to the EU. MEPs in Brussels were taken aback by some of them, which inc...
Read full storyU.S. to Screen Syrian Refugees According to Bra Size
A Senate committee on the Syrian refugee crisis held a press conference in Twin Peaks, California this morning to discuss their recommendations on U.S. policy towards granting asylum to Syrian refugees. "We can't let any of the men into the countr...
Read full storyTrump Jury Duty Could End Trial By Jury in The US
For the first time in American legal history, a jury has petition the U.S. Congress to eliminate the six amendment to the constitution--the right to a trial by a jury of one's peers. This stunning development occurred last night in New York. Jurors...
Read full storyDas Auto: Liegend ist Keine Sunde (Lying is not a sin)
Did we lie about emissions from our diesel engines? That's not a fair question, not at all. In fact, the entire format of this . . . this inquisition is unfair! It is typical of the liberal media to play gotcha with questions like that. That's why we should be allowed to do our own testing, and just hand over our results to the EPA. In the future, that's the only basis on which we'll...
Read full storyNew Thanksgiving Holiday Of 'Gratitude' Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.
In response to the overwhelming growth of Black Friday and its exploitation of the employees who must work in the service industry labor unions, families, certain compassionate government leaders and religious figures have petitioned and won governme...
Read full storyGovernment proposes legislation to regulate the quality of medical care for the dead
Philadelphia, PA - Growing concern for loved ones who have passed on has been a boon to the burgeoning death care industry. Still, uncertainties exist regarding the quality of medical care for the deceased. For years the death care market has gone un...
Read full storyConspiracy Theories - The Website For The Well Informed Paranoiac
Conspiracy Theories is the hard hitting website that isn't afraid to investigate and expose the dark forces that seek to prey in so many devious ways upon the general publicum. We are here because you need us! We are ever vigilant against those evil people, organizations, nations and cultures that are out to handicap and repress our great American lifestyle. The following are the dark, sinister...
Read full storyKardashian Selfies to become legal tender
In breaking news, it is revealed that from 2016 pictures of the Kardashians, and their associated family members will be legal tender. Seen as a way of boosting the economy photos of Kris, Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Caitlyn, Wayne, Perdita, Honeysuckle, G...
Read full storyStephen Fry Finds The Spoof 'Offensive,' Encourages Humorists
Stephen Fry has recently contacted The Spoof to express his grave displeasure at the contentious content published herein. There are too many snarky jokes about Ricky Gervais and Ronnie Corbett, but not enough about Hugh Lawrie, for example. Dissatisfied with our replies, he has penned an open letter to The Spoof. You know, nowadays, everything is just so overly delicate. You can barely move...
Read full storyA Candid conversation between Amiko Aventurista and Joaquim "El Chapo" Guzman
The internationally acclaimed, and Pulitzer Prize winner, Amiko Aventurista, has once again demonstrated why he is the world's leading journalist. Yesterday, he conducted the most impressive interview of his career when Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, agreed to a one-on-one non-conditional 60 minute interview. Hundreds of journalists have attempted to interview El Chapo, the world's leading fugitiv...
Read full storyGOP Compromise: Support the Troops, But Not TOO Much!
There's just no-one quite like Rand Paul in the current GOP running. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. (Probably neither, to be honest!) Still, never mind. Rand Paul has daringly sought and found the ideal pragmatic solution to TWO WHOLE PROBLEMS: veteran's welfare and foreign policy! Paul politically-hipsterfies as follows: What does 'Support the Troops' really mean to the...
Read full storyPhishers and scam artists hold meeting inside mountain cavern to decide new ploys and schemes to take to the public
Breaking news from an undercover investigator posing as phishing artist who calls himself Yam Yam Fusillado indicates there was a large gathering of scam professionals this week. According to Mr. Fusillado, the group gathered for a semi-annual me...
Read full storyAble man arrested for using service dog to pass gas indiscriminately
Police arrested Pierre LePetite outside a Baton Rogue Pet World store this afternoon, after a minor scuffle, and charged him with animal cruelty and resisting arrest. Police allege LaPetite poses as a disable veteran and uses his service dog as cove...
Read full storyGoggles On for Some Great British Telly
News has reached us that Channel 4 has revealed its full seasonal programme which consists of 48 hours of very cheap live editions of Gogglebox. Television cameras will be in the homes of the posh couple who drink a lot, the older couple with the...
Read full storySecretary Carter further explains "challenges to international order" as with belligerence in Ukraine, Syria, plus other issues
Defense Secretary Ashton Carter yesterday clarified his recent remarks that Russia and China are "challenging international order." The basic problem is failure to answer the question, "Who, after all, has been the world's policeman for the last...
Read full storyObama dispatches gaseous hero dog to defeat ISIS
The White House announced this morning that President Barack Obama has dispatched Moose, the gaseous hero dog to ISIS strongholds in Syria. "It is time," Obama said in a prepared statement, "to once again use the ultimate weapon. It is not a decisio...
Read full storySurprise Late Entry into Republican Primary
DETROIT--On Wednesday morning, reporters gathered in the Motor City to hear legendary rocker Vincent Furnier--better known as Alice Cooper-- announce that he was vying to run for president under the Republican banner. Cooper added that, in an unusua...
Read full storyObama to put 50,000 boots on the ground to combat 26 US State Governors
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Hussein Obama announced today that he has authorized 25,000 troops to be deployed to 26 of the United States to enforce his decision to allow Syrian refugees to infiltrate the United States. White House Spokesman,...
Read full storyGod's message to world disclosed 11/1/15!: "I'm outa here! Sayonora assholes!"
The message first appeared on social media states the New York Times this morning. It spread around the world in a matter of hours according to the report. It was addressed to the entire world, supposedly from God himself and spoke to people of all...
Read full storyDeath of Cecil The Lion Forces National Geographic to Close
The world's leading nature magazine, National Geographic, announced it will publish its last edition in December. The announcement has startled the publishing world. Circulation of the National Geographic has increased 6% every year for the...
Read full storyBruce "Caitlyn" Jenner Wasn't Popular Before; Philosophers ask, "Why Now?"
The recent controversy over Bruce Jenner cutting off his genitals and getting a boob job has been seen everywhere. But a philosopher has a question for those who worship him/her/it. "Why did you decide to like Bruce Jenner now, instead of before...
Read full storyTrump And Hillary To Exchange Hair Pieces If Both Nominated: A Trumpillary Transfusion
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Mikhail Gorbachev instituted "Glasnost" in the late 1980's has there been such a democratization of hair styles in our political history. Inspired perhaps by the imagery of living beneath the encampment of an albino rac...
Read full storyTrump buys Washington DC; Now Owns Presidency
In what could be regarded as the most ridiculous act in recorded history, Donald Trump, billionaire pariah and 2016 presidential candidate, has decided to purchase our nation's capitol, thereby destroying the presidential election forever. As cit...
Read full storyWile E Coyote Takes Out Jihadi John: Joins FOX NEWS
BILLINGSGATE SPECIAL REPORT: David Cameron announced this morning that Jihadi John was taken out in a strike led by Wile E Coyote, an ACME Corporation operative. This report has now been confirmed by the Pentagon. Jihadi John, a British born t...
Read full storyObama College Records Hacked: Enrolled As Native American Indian
BILLINGSGATE POST: In his first assignment with FAUX NEWS, Wile E Coyote, posing as a candidate for a Masters Degree in Political Science, hacked into Columbia University's application site and discovered that a student, who identified himself as Ch...
Read full storyGOP cancels debates! Schedules nationally televised Circle Jerk on Fox News!
"Shocked but not surprised," stated a well known political analyst when a spokesman for the Republican Party announced the cancellation of future debates and substituted a nationally televised Circle Jerk to be shown on Fox News. A Fox News spokesma...
Read full storyTapped Phone Conversation Between Putin and Assad Proves Revealing.
The famous expose website Wakileaks (yes, that is spelled correctly) has successfully tapped into a most intriguing phone call between those two most beloved of dictators in the world- Bashar al-Assad and his Grace Vladimir Putin of Russia. We have the transcript here just as it was translated from the phone tap: RINGGGGGGG!!!!! Putin: Hello my old buddy Bashar! How are you doing? Assad:...
Read full storyPlugged in
Congratulations on the purchase of your earth-friendly StaGreen™ all electric snowblower! Assembly of your new StaGreen™ snowblower should take no more than thirty minutes, following these simple instructions. WARNING! Do not attempt to plug your StaGreen™ snowblower into a wall outlet inside your house: if the selector switch is in the ON position the blades may rota...
Read full storyAdele to release mini album called '69'
She's written songs about the word 'hello' and pavements but now London's most successful singer named Adele is set to release a controversial mini album entitled '69'. Details of the album's exact content are still a mystery but a number of propo...
Read full storyJürgen Klopp sees the light...
Liverpool's new manager, Jürgen Klopp, arrived at the team's training ground yesterday sporting a long beard and two metre shaft. After his crash course in English at the Evertonian Biblical Society, Klopp felt more than ready for his future tasks.
Read full storyMan The Barricades
[According to the website of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, the U.S. firearm homicide rate is 20 times higher than the combined rates of 22 countries that have similar wealth and population.] Quick - there's not a minute to lose! Prompt action to keep out those foreigners is the only thing that will save us! They're coming from some lawless place that is wracked with violence, wh...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Turns Opponent Scott Walker Into Kitten; Scientists Baffled
Recently, GOP candidate Scott Walker dropped out of the presidential race. Officials wondered why until a surprise camera flash-mob on Hillary Clinton revealed that Walker had been abducted by Clinton and genetically engineered into a kitten. Whe...
Read full storyComing soon to a theater near you
Young Frankenstein, starring Dr. Ben Carson as the son following in the footsteps of his father, the infamous scientist, with Carly Fiorina as his sweetheart Inga, Ted Cruz as the doctor's hunchbacked assistant Igor, and Donald Trump as the monster with the abby-normal brain. Here is a preview: Dr. C: Inga, what are you doing? Carly: Roll, roll, roll. I am rolling in the $42 million in seve...
Read full storyObama Issues Executive Order, Renaming Political Parties
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama issued an executive order today, renaming the two major political parties in the United States of America. The Democratic party shall be referred to as "The Supreme Democratic Party", while the Republican party sha...
Read full storyGolfers To March Across America, Demanding Free Greens Fees
WASHINGTON, DC - Golfers were set to walk off golf courses across the United States today to protest ballooning greens fees and rally for free golf balls. The demonstrations are planned just two days after thousands of fast-food workers took to th...
Read full story"Good heaving all!"
Most people don't choose to spend their weekends at a police station. But Richard Scratcher does. Every Friday and Saturday night, between 19:30 and 04:00, you will find the cheerful, if not totally knackered pensioner slumped across his desk m...
Read full storyObama Vows to 'Redouble' Islamic State Fight After Paris
ANTALYA, Turkey - President Barack Obama pledged Sunday to redouble U.S. efforts to eliminate the Islamic State group and end the Syrian civil war that has fueled its rise, denouncing the extremist group's horrifying terror spree in Paris as "an atta...
Read full storyObama Rejects Keystone XL Pipeline, Then Issues Executive Order Mandating Keystone XXXL Pipeline, Citing U.S. Political Climate Change
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama rejected a presidential permit Friday for the controversial Keystone XL pipeline, citing concerns about its impact on the climate. Immediately following the rejection, Mr Obama issued an executive order, mandating the...
Read full storyHang Sang Corbyn Defeats the Generals
The Generals of Myanmar (formerly called Burma when the Generals were in power) have suffered a humiliating defeat by the supporters of 66 year old Hang Sang Corbyn. British Prime Minister David Cameron welcomed the news saying 'It is evident that...
Read full storyActor Charlie Sheen filmed playing the male trombone
Former Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen has been seen in a new film slurping the gerkin. The grainy footage shows the once handsome celebrity getting his knees dirty and smoking some pole. Sheen, 50, lost his role as hard-drinking, womanizing...
Read full storyDentist Shoots Cougar In Bar: Claims Gun Went Off By Accident
BILLINGSGATE POST: Henry Smelt, a 29 year old dentist from Wichita, Kansas, shot a 54 year old cougar in the Everything's Game Bar and Grill in Wichita. The bar is widely known as a notorious pick-up spot in an affluent area of this Kansas prairie...
Read full storyObama Issues Executive Order Mandating That Ex-Cons Be Hired For All Federal Jobs
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama announced today that a new Executive Order has been issued, requiring that former convicts be hired for all federal government jobs. President Obama unveiled the plan on a visit to a treatment center in New Jersey,...
Read full storyPrison Guard Love Tap Mistaken For Mistreatment
On November 11, a prison guard was highly mistaken for hitting an inmate so ferociously that it almost killed him. James Mauldin, a prison guard at the local county prison, was convicted late last night. He said that he was only showing the inmate...
Read full storyHUD proposes masturbation ban in public housing, citing dangers of warts
WASHINGTON, DC - The federal government is seeking to ban masturbation in all of the nation's 13.2 million public housing units. In its proposed rule, announced Thursday, the Department of Housing and Urban Development would require more than 3,10...
Read full storyIlluminati Interview
Our reporter from U-R-FKDmagazine met up with Illuminati member Sir Reginald Adder at the National Liberal Club London. Sir Reggie does not confess to being a member of the Illuminati but our reporter who is a distant cousin knows it to be a fact, hence his ability to gain access to Adder in the first place. The subject he wished to find his response to was ISIS and its current vendetta against th...
Read full storyThe Interview
"Well, Vladimir, you have a most impressive resume. I see that you started in the mail room at the KGB, worked your way up to the top of that organization, and then stole the entire country. Just exactly what is the secret to your success?" "Is very simple, Roger. I may call you Roger? Secret is people are sheep, I am wolf. Wolf have no rules. Is natural order for wolf to eat sheep. So,...
Read full storyBen Carson Claimed He Masturbated as a Boy, But Can't Prove It
WASHINGTON, DC - Dr. Ben Carson says he was prone to masturbating during his youth until he had a religious experience in the bathroom of his Detroit home. But, his former classmates don't remember him "polishing the knob". Your fearless report...
Read full storyQueen's Speech
During the Queen's speech at Christmas, the Queen is not expected to bang on about being in the same job for all of these years. As we all know, it is boring when Neville in accounts does it. Elizabeth II is instead going to speak about the world...
Read full storyReporters in disguise attend Trump strategy meeting featuring new ideas plus innovative bobblehead scheme
According to a team of CNN reporters who went deep undercover in a recent Trump strategy meeting, Mr. Trump is about to release a new round of pummeling blows meant to win the 2016 presidential election. These reporters, originators of the "better...
Read full story