Written by Bill Licks

Sunday, 29 November 2015

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image for Adele to release mini album called '69'
Looks nothing like Ariana Grande

She's written songs about the word 'hello' and pavements but now London's most successful singer named Adele is set to release a controversial mini album entitled '69'.

Details of the album's exact content are still a mystery but a number of proposed track titles have been published on an obscure entertainment website by an anonymous user.

The user claims to have overheard a woman who looked a bit like Adele discuss the forthcoming chart topper during a live webcam performance on an adult website specializing in pornstars who look a bit like famous people.

A summary of some of the tracks follows.

Lubrication
- Thought to be about when a partner seems to slide away from you just when you are getting close.

Mouthful - That moment in a relationship that you really want to express how you feel but the words just won't come out.

Faster - When a relationship seems to be developing slowly and you want it to speed up to increase the excitement.

Tonguing Backdoors - Like chasing pavements (whatever that meant) so equally obscure referencing the muscular hydrostat's fascination of the coal man's entrance.

Snorkel - This track is thought to be about the feeling of suffocation when a partner gets too close to you or when you have a large arse smothering your face and breathing becomes an issue.

There is no announced release date of '69' but for a £5.99 monthly subscription of the aforementioned adult site you will be able to listen to exclusive performances of '69' and someone who looks a bit like Taylor Swift discussing her exciting new project called Vibrator.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Taylor Swift, adele




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