Reporters in disguise attend Trump strategy meeting featuring new ideas plus innovative bobblehead scheme

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 29 November 2015

image for Reporters in disguise attend Trump strategy meeting featuring new ideas plus innovative bobblehead scheme
This style for the bobblehead is being considered

According to a team of CNN reporters who went deep undercover in a recent Trump strategy meeting, Mr. Trump is about to release a new round of pummeling blows meant to win the 2016 presidential election.

These reporters, originators of the "better brain dead than red" movement of the Soviet era, secreted themselves into the meeting as waiters and floor-sweepers for the latest intelligence.

One of Mr. Trump's abilities is his tapping into ordinary people's frustrations with the current government. Cheers follow his off-the-cuff style, when he says things like "You bet your ass I'll do that."

Lower taxes on the rich? "Bet your ass." Keep basic wages low or lower? "Your ass on that." Defeat ISIS with boots on the ground instead of pussying around from the air? "Did you hear me betting your ass on that?"

A new exciting idea emerged to build a "refugee wall" around places like New York City, with refugees first landed off shore on a specially constructed island.

This island would be built by properly vetted refugees and paid for out of their paychecks for their first ten years of residence.

Even the disguised CNN reporters began cheering and stamping their feet when this idea was introduced, and Mr. Trump mounted a table to announce this plan as "brilliant."

Whether refugees should be water-boarded as a routine part of their four stage vetting process brought silence to the gathering. Question put on hold.

Someone suggested the amount of water administered to children in this process might be reduced, as a humane gesture. More silence

Also coming up, despite Mr. Trump's earlier agreement with the Republican Party, it's likely he will go third party after all, due to violations in the agreement.

Related, Mr. Trump's call to let your frustrations rule how to vote brought a new round of "You can bet your ass on that."

He then called for a "sweetener" in the campaign so that it didn't seem one continual round of sour grapes, which he said was Mr. Sanders' approach.

This led the conference to cheers and much enthusiasm--for a Mr. Trump bobblehead.

The toy would feature Mr. Trump's hair and face as moving parts, including small red tongue (emerging at times).

When squeezed the bobblehead would deposit three candies-one mint, one cinnamon, one pure chocolate-into the palm and say: "You know you can't resist me."

Manufacture for this proposal was immediately ordered up, with the bobblehead available by Christmas.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more