New Thanksgiving Holiday Of 'Gratitude' Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

Funny story written by rfreed

Monday, 23 November 2015

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In response to the overwhelming growth of Black Friday and its exploitation of the employees who must work in the service industry labor unions, families, certain compassionate government leaders and religious figures have petitioned and won government approval for a 'pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving' to make up for the real Thanksgiving that is now almost a non-existent entity. So many are having to work on what used to be an almost sacred holiday due to the seasonal avarice of companies such as Walmart, McDonald's, Target, Home Depot, Best Buy and others who see Christmas only as a platform for making great profits due to peoples sentimentalities and don't mind killing off another quieter holiday to get their way.

Gratitude, the name for the new holiday, will be just like Thanksgiving food-wise, quiet-wise, family oriented-wise and religious-wise, but will be required by law to actually give people that day off to stay at home and be able to feel what it is like to be human instead of a rat on a never ending economic treadmill. Televised football will also be banned on that day along with all other sports.

The bill presented by the government was immediately labeled socialist by many of the darlings of the Republican Party. Some even went so far as to say that Obama was trying to create an Islamic holiday out of it, but then those same accusers are so far out in their minds that they would think that Mr., Spock from Star Trek is an illegal alien without a work visa. These types are already working on a counter measure that would not only eliminate Gratitude as a holiday, but would also get rid of Thanksgiving altogether too due to it not being as much of a revenue stimulater as Halloween and Christmas. They are well aware that Thanksgiving only makes money only for turkey salesmen and cranberry growers.

Already chain corporations, fast foods franchisees and greedy business owners are working on ways to circumvent, exploit and make money off of the new holiday. Rumor has it as well that the NFL is outraged that the public would even dare to think of having a day with no televised football whatsoever. They are petitioning Congress to claim the new holiday unpatriotic and communistic, even though the NFL has not paid a cent in federal taxes since they were formed.

"Gratitude?" says the big boys behind Black Friday. "Why do the little people need a holiday just to express gratitude? We certainly don't need one! We never show any!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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