Written by D P Whitehead

Monday, 9 November 2015

image for Aggressive Pitbull To Have Testicles Removed
I don't play no games so don't get it confused no Cos you will lose yeah. Now pump it up And back it up like a Tonka

A Cuban/American rapper who 'jumped up on' one of his recording producers and left her with no injuries whatsoever is to have his testicles removed.

A Miami-Dade judge ordered the balls be chopped off after hearing of the attack on November 1st on Katie Pensacola that left her uninjured but distressed after the 34-year-old rapper licked her cheek.

But the judge also has placed a three-year ban on Pensacola from owning or working with any Cuban/American rapper deemed dangerous or over-affectionate, indicating that the many recording producers were to blame for the behaviour of their 'touchy feely' stars.

The court heard that Pitbull roamed freely, frightening neighbours who described him as sometimes fearful and aggressive but often just far too playful. The middle-aged Pitbull and his producer were known to animal control officers, and one witness testified she saw Pensacola once kick the rapper.

The court's decision to take away the rappers 'huevos' and the producer's right to own a dangerous animal is a first in Miami, according to lawyer Troy DeLoach, who represented the state in the case.

"We are now left with I think what is probably the most important decision ever for Pitbull's, which is dealing with the source of the problem, which is the irresponsible record producer."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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