Written by D Agnew

Thursday, 19 November 2015


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image for Met office storms to be renamed
Storm "Fishy Minge" unleashes its fury

The Met office today announced a change to the naming convention it has used for the last fifteen years.

The change follows the increase in over the top reporting that follows when it gets a little bit windy outside,

Normally, the storms are given male and female names but the Met office, in partnership with Haddlestow primary school, has launched a ground breaking initiative allowing the pupils to forward the names.

This fantastic idea has come about due to the 500% increase in minor storms resulting in our weather men running out of names, Now thanks to the children we can look forward to the next windy day with exciting modern names like;

"Hurricane Gay Bastard", "Typhoon Dog Shagger", "Storm Ginger Pubes", "Hurricane Shit Clothes", amongst many other proposals by the children.

Paul Paulington from local news station "Grimsby live @ 11.55" was excited by the proposal.

"Yes we have been running out of names and frankly this partnership makes the arcane world of metrology much more exciting," Paul gushed Whilst Casting runes at his busy weather desk.

"Imagine how exciting it would be to be told that Hurricane Spackker Face is about to cause a tidal surge on the east coast or imagine losing your wheelie bin to Storm dog breath and Hurricane cock face combining over the Atlantic, it might take the sting out of your insurance renewal a bit."

The change to the names is not without its detractors though; American weather men are up in arms about the simplistic choices.

Cody Majors a technical environmental anomaly expert on CNNNEN CHANNEL thinks that the names should have a USA slant to them he proposes Naming the weather to cater for the USA which is the biggest and best country in the world.

"Ya'll need better names man," he said on the video link from his preppers survival bunker on the West Coast.

"We have a huge amount of devastating tornados over here and Twister 'Skiddy Duds' wont mean a damn thing to our people, some might not even take it seriously But if I was to Say, rename that to "Gods judgement for abortions" then people would take shelter. Everyone would hit the cellar if 'Hurricane Methamphetamine assault rifle' managed to make land fall. "

While Cody brings up a good point about the severity of storms reflecting the name other climate boffins are not so sure.

Welsh expert Gwen Powell says it would be impossible for the people of Wales to take either of the proposals seriously

"We live in an apocalyptic wasteland anyway, full of fog, rain and freezing primordial conditions, It would take a storm of absolutely huge magnitude and destruction to make us even try to make up a quite frankly unpronounceable word using just vowels and random letters in our moon language."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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