Bust of Cheney will feature him as Napolean with book in his left hand titled "War is not all that bad"

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 5 November 2015

image for Bust of Cheney will feature him as Napolean with book in his left hand titled "War is not all that bad"
Mr. Cheney explaining how to grasp opportunity

Richard Cheney, who left the office of vice-president in 2009 with a 13 percent approval rating, will be honored with a bust at the capitol this December.

He has chosen to be rendered as Napolean in typical stance, with black hat, known as the bicorn or bicorne, with its two horizontal points sideways on the head west and east, while the nose points north.

Bust creators have noted their work was eased considerably due to how much Mr. Cheney actually resembles Napolean, with slightly pudgy facial features and body-girth at the abdomen almost identical (referred to as "formidable," not stout).

The lower legs assume a typical Napoleanic stance, feet apart at the distance of the shoulders, left foot (the feet are enclosed in black boots) slightly forward.

Of course the right hand is tucked inside a white waistcoat beneath black jacket and tails, with shoulder lapels and collar pink, symbolizing peace and unity in a troubled world.

His left hand holds his recent book titled "War is not all that bad," held slightly to the rear as though keeping it behind him and in a modest posture to assure posterity of Mr. Cheney's sincerity on the subject.

There had been some suggestions the statue should feature him (again as Napolean), seated and overseeing attention to a prisoner at Guantanamo being water-boarded (and the book in his left hand titled "Water-boarding is not all that bad").

However, after consultations with Congress, the "War is not all that bad" title, and the former vice-president's standing in a modest pose looking like Napolean, was decided as most suitable.

Bust creating for former vice-presidents at the Capitol is a tradition since 1898 so that the American public can learn of honorable service and heroism in this office.

Mr. Cheney's study "War is not all that bad" explores the rewards of the Bush administration's wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and has been given appreciative reviews in The New York Times and The Washington Post.

Executives for Halliburton, a multinational oil corporation served by Mr. Cheney as CEO prior to his time in the vice-president's office, have indicated an interest in acquiring replicas of this forthcoming Capitol Hill statue.

They say his replica would stand just inside the main entrance of their offices in the US and across the globe to inspire workers and economic partners for future developments in world commerce.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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