Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 16 November 2015

image for Obama College Records Hacked: Enrolled As Native American Indian
The Wiley One

BILLINGSGATE POST: In his first assignment with FAUX NEWS, Wile E Coyote, posing as a candidate for a Masters Degree in Political Science, hacked into Columbia University's application site and discovered that a student, who identified himself as Chief Bear Ass (Who-Sings) Obama, applied to Columbia in 1981 after transferring from Occidental College. In his application he described himself as an Native American of Cherokee descent; ironically the same tribe Elizabeth Warren claimed affiliation because of her pronounced case of chipmunk cheeks

After first applying to Columbia University as a Muslim student born in Kenya, he found that Columbia had already filled its quota for Black-African born Muslims. Showing the resilience of a young man indifferent to the truth, he re-applied as a Native American by phonetically changing his name so that it sounded more Native American.

While a student at Columbia, he practiced the stealth that Indians are known for. Even his classmates were not aware that he was there. Until Wile E Coyote breached Columbia's computer code by dropping a 500 pound, all-purpose ACME anvil on the Records Office, it was presumed that Chief Bear Ass was just another hapless student unable to find his way to class.

Although his academic record showed early promise because of his proficiency in speaking unintelligibly in tongues, other disciplines that required logic appeared to be more than he could handle. Undoubtedly, this more than qualified him to be admitted to Harvard Law School where he distinguished himself.

NOTE: This is the first FAUX NEWS report from the desk of Wile E Coyote. More to follow.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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